Ms_Sweetness Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 After reading a few threads I'm wondering how you all feel. When you are dating or in a relationship with someone, do you feel its necessary to have contact with the person everyday, via phone, text, in person, etc? At one point I didn't feel the need to have daily contact with the guy I'm dating, but now I feel uneasy when I don't at least get a text asking how my day is going. What do you all think?
a_woman Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I try to be independent in this respect and not have daily contact - at least early on. It can become a chore for either parties. I would allow it to develop naturally.
BlackLovely Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 When I was dating, daily contact was a requirement for me. If I saw early on that this would be a problem, I stopped seeing the guy. I believe that if a man is interested in a woman, he will want to hear her voice a lot. He will want to take the time out to touch base.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Non-daily contact signals low interest level IMO. That's what bothers me more than lack of contact itself.
TaraMaiden Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 The thought of not having daily contact equates, for me, with not having a relationship. Friends 'contact' occasionally. Partners/dates contact every day.... Don't they? Every relationship I've been in has consisted of daily contact.... couldn't keep our contacts off each other!
a_woman Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Interesting... I see what you are all saying but I'm not feeling it. When serious, yes. Otherwise a chat maybe 3 times during a week is enough for me if I see him on two separate days let's say.
Sphere Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Not a fan of daily contact, I'll do it if in a relationship, the odd text in the morning, that's about it.
sultry33 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I dont like daily contact find it a bit clingy if we have plans then yes on that day or day before id like text/call but not everyday. I should be in there mind anyway so dont need clarification;)
a_woman Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I think by not having such strict dating structure in the UK our expectations tend to be more relaxed than in the States. That's what I'm picking up anyway.
Sphere Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I think by not having such strict dating structure in the UK our expectations tend to be more relaxed than in the States. That's what I'm picking up anyway. Well it seems in the US that a couple can live together and will still have to text and call each other on their breaks at work, which to me is pathetic.
sultry33 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Well it seems in the US that a couple can live together and will still have to text and call each other on their breaks at work, which to me is pathetic. yes thats pathetic;) my ex used to drive me crazy like that.. he just leave the house and call me..wtf do i talk about? i used to ignore him then he would go stir crazy.. least he is now doing that to someone else. I tell any bf now im not a fan of daily texting/calling so dont expect it.
zengirl Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 (edited) The thought of not having daily contact equates, for me, with not having a relationship. Friends 'contact' occasionally. Partners/dates contact every day.... Don't they? Every relationship I've been in has consisted of daily contact.... couldn't keep our contacts off each other! I feel like this. I don't need daily contact while just-dating, and it's not so much that I want it to be some chore in a relationship. I've just never been in one that didn't generally have daily contact or pretty close to it---maybe an odd day or weekend would go by without it due to some extreme conditions (major trips away camping without a cell phone, particularly busy work issues that came up suddenly, etc). I'm not a huge fan of all the texting either. Generally, I've seen or had a brief phone call with any fellow I've gone out with every day. Maybe it was a text a few times a month or something instead. After you're really in a relationship, it's nice just to hear your partner's voice every day. I view relationships as a constant partnership, so they're a major part of my life by then. But I don't enter relationships casually (i.e. I know some enter them early for sexual exclusivity before they develop real feelings for a partner or invest in major emotional ways; I tend to decide to become exclusive and sleep with someone ONLY after I'm pretty damn close to in love with them and invested emotionally, and they can say the same). So, that factors in a lot. If I'm casually seeing someone, constant contact for the sake of it is tedious. But once I'm in a relationship, the person has become closer to me than my best friend. I talk to some of my best friends almost every day, even half a world away, and I talk to my Mom almost every day too. Just how I am. Edited August 12, 2010 by zengirl
Blade Runner Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Interesting... I see what you are all saying but I'm not feeling it. When serious, yes. Otherwise a chat maybe 3 times during a week is enough for me if I see him on two separate days let's say.[/Quote] I agree with this. I don't feel the need to talk to somebody every single day of the week. Maybe in a serious relationship, or when it develops to that point naturally, but I just cannot agree with this: Non-daily contact signals low interest level IMO.[/Quote] Even if I was totally crazy about the person, a few times a week, maybe once at the beginning of the week, then Wednesday, then the weekend would be plenty for me. Spaced out chats mean longer, more meaningful conversation...for me at least.
Stung Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Well it seems in the US that a couple can live together and will still have to text and call each other on their breaks at work, which to me is pathetic. My husband and I talk to each other every day if we're away from each other, and usually during the course of a normal day as well a few times in IM or txt. It's not a chore, or something we check off on a list, "must call during coffee break." We are best friends, and we always have something to talk to each other about. We go to each other with funny anecdotes about our day, or send each other interesting news articles, etc. Of course we also have kids and a business venture in common so sometimes we have to make lengthier phone calls about them. This doesn't mean we don't have other friends, or that we don't go out and do things without each other sometimes. When we were first dating, we were in a LDR. We spoke on the phone or communicated in IM very nearly every day, and had most of our initial long getting-to-know-you conversations that way. Again it wasn't a chore, it was something we both looked forward to in the evenings when we had free time, because we liked each other so much that getting to talk to each other generated excitement. I have had other relationships that didn't click as well where we didn't talk every day, and I didn't consider that a big deal at the time. Every person and every relationship is a bit different. And I never expect to talk to somebody every day when a relationship is just beginning, it has to occur naturally, be something both people want. But my now-husband and I couldn't wait to talk to each other...as TM said, we couldn't keep our 'contacts' off each other!
Gattica Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 When dating, I don't have to have daily contact. In general, I have noticed that the men that I had more contact with while dating were the ones that the relationship progressed into something beyond dating. I have also noticed the men that I didn't have as much contact with were the ones multi-dating and that never lasts for me.
reservoirdog1 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Once you've moved beyond the just-casually-dating thing and are, e.g. only dating each other, I think daily contact in some form is a good thing, and should be encouraged. I've been dating GF for about two months and while we don't speak every day, we exchange emails, texts or Facebook messages daily. I like it -- keeps things fun. Helps also that her messages are always interesting, or flirty, or both.
sunrae Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 For me I dont require daily contact, sometimes I just dont have anything to say, and dont want to sit on the phone with dead air.
BiAxident Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 This is the exact issue I am dealing with right now. My SO has flown across the country for a family get together, and hasn't contacted me since Sunday. I've been initiating the contact (or trying to), but she hasn't been answering her phone or responding to my messages. I got about 2 minutes of facebook chatting out of her yesterday, thats it. For me, once you are in a committed relationship, daily contact is a nice thing. At least wish each other goodnight or check in to see how each other's days went. Right now I'm not getting that, and I am taking it as a sign that the relationship is not going very well in her eyes.
fwang Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 (edited) So in a relationshipe, people should contact daily. If it's just dating, maybe 1 time per 2 days. How about FWB? Edited August 12, 2010 by fwang
dispatch3d Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 So in a relationshipe, people should contact daily. If it's just dating, maybe 1 time per 2 days. How about FWB? jesus. Honestly I'm quite fine with some of these types of people weeding me out for not contacting them daily. If there's no sex in a relationship (this is the point at which a relationship starts imo), then I think it's overly clingy/needy to need a call once a day.
SnowAngel3 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 There should be some form of daily contact (call, text, IM) if we're in a relationship. If we're just casually dating, then daily contact isn't needed but it shouldn't be as infrequent as only once a week either.
confused192 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I don't want daily contact when I'm dating someone. I am a very independent person and find it clingy if someone wants to talk to me every day. It's a turn off for me.
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