WolfRouge Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Hi, My girlfriend broke up with me just over a month ago and I found out lastnight that she's seeing someone else already. This was my biggest fear and now it's actually happened, I don't know how to deal with it. The thought of her being with someone is completely tearing me apart. I'm still deeply in love with her and I miss her so much. I just want her back! The only problem in the relationship was my insecurities, which I'm now getting help with. Other than that, we had a great relationship. She just felt she wasn't strong enough to deal my problems. Please help! I should probably point out that this was a gay relationship, though that's irrelevant.
Jemay Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 What can I say..... time heals all wounds.... She's moved on and so should you. You may be hurting right now but you'll get over it and meet someone more compatible in time. Break-ups suck but it's best to move forwards and learn from our experiences. Good luck to you!
BiAxident Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 You've come to the right place to vent, find support, and to read a lot of stories from others which will demonstrate that you aren't really alone. The first thing you should probably do is initiate No Contact. No phone calls, e-mails, Facebook, and perhaps no visiting places that she is likely to be. The second thing to do is to keep posting, and posting, and posting, this board is your support group. What lessons can you take away from this? What insecurities are at issue and how can you work to eliminate them? Stay strong!
Username37 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 This could be a rebound relationship. Still thought, keep NC, rebound shouldn't last long.
Author WolfRouge Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 Thanks for your replies. I cut contact for a month and then stupidly signed into a chat site we both go on when I knew she was in there. I had to watch her go on about this new girl and watch her calling her bubbles and crap. She was talking about her like I wasn't even in the room. I couldn't handle it, so I made out I forgot I had to do something and signed out. Then went and cried for about 2 hours. Again, I signed into msn the next day... I didn't talk to her, she spoke to me first. I kept it civil etc... I told her I might be going to Manchester pride if she fancies meeting up for a coffee or whatever (should also point out, this was long distance. She's in Manchester, I'm in Southampton). I know I probably shouldn't have asked her that, but I can't help holding onto hope. I really can't! But I struggled with talking to her, so again I told her I was going out for a bit and that we'd chat again soon and signed out. This is so messed up. Username37... I really hope you're right!
Username37 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Thanks for your replies. I cut contact for a month and then stupidly signed into a chat site we both go on when I knew she was in there. I had to watch her go on about this new girl and watch her calling her bubbles and crap. She was talking about her like I wasn't even in the room. I couldn't handle it, so I made out I forgot I had to do something and signed out. Then went and cried for about 2 hours. Again, I signed into msn the next day... I didn't talk to her, she spoke to me first. I kept it civil etc... I told her I might be going to Manchester pride if she fancies meeting up for a coffee or whatever (should also point out, this was long distance. She's in Manchester, I'm in Southampton). I know I probably shouldn't have asked her that, but I can't help holding onto hope. I really can't! But I struggled with talking to her, so again I told her I was going out for a bit and that we'd chat again soon and signed out. This is so messed up. Username37... I really hope you're right! No problem, that's what we're hear for And as for that chat website. Avoid it, or delete her if you can. That's gonna be killer. Plus you can continue using the site without worrying about her. And also block/delete her from MSN too. It's necessary for NC. Go on NC, get your feelings together, and maybe you can talk to your her with no struggle. Good that you kept it civil though And a month after a break up is a short time. She misses the companionship. My ex girlfriend had a rebound hookup 3 weeks after my break up so I know how you feel.
Author WolfRouge Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 Thanks Username37 :-) She deleted me from her friends list in chat, but there's really only one room we both go in. So unless I put her on ignore, I'll still see her in there. But it won't help me seeing other people talking to her. I met her in that chatroom, so it's also a reminder when I go in there. So yeah, I will be avoiding going in there from now on. Blocking and deleting her on msn will be tough! I honestly don't think I have that strength.... Not yet anyway. I wish someone could wave a magic wand and make everything right again.
Username37 Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Thanks Username37 :-) She deleted me from her friends list in chat, but there's really only one room we both go in. So unless I put her on ignore, I'll still see her in there. But it won't help me seeing other people talking to her. I met her in that chatroom, so it's also a reminder when I go in there. So yeah, I will be avoiding going in there from now on. Blocking and deleting her on msn will be tough! I honestly don't think I have that strength.... Not yet anyway. I wish someone could wave a magic wand and make everything right again. No problem. I get a high helping people here I met my ex online too. On myspace. Most of our inside jokes, lovely dovey stuff, and the start of our friendship was ALL there. Then the day we broke up, she quickly deleted the myspace, like she was erasing the fact we were in a relationship. It still pains me today. Just wanted to share that with you haha And to be honest, I haven't deleted or blocked my ex on FB yet. I don't have the strength either. I'm actually just avoiding that **** for now. haven't been on for a while, my suggestion is you avoid MSN for now. If only if only. I also wish for Time Machines...especially a Hot Tub Time Machine XD
Author WolfRouge Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 Hot tub time machine! lol. She deleted me from facebook, so I didn't have to do that myself. I'm glad she did to be honest. At least then I don't have to see the crap she's saying to the tart. There were still pictures of me and her tagged on facebook. I was really angry finding out about her and this tart and I went on a mad deleting spree. I untagged myself in all the pictures so they don't appear on my profile anymore. I did delete her from my bebo profile, then decided to just delete my account instead. And on gaydargirls, I deleted the pictures of us and what I said about her. I felt better at the time, like I'd turned the tables on her. But I doubt she's even noticed! I'm avoiding msn when I know she's online. If I can!
Username37 Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Hot tub time machine! lol. She deleted me from facebook, so I didn't have to do that myself. I'm glad she did to be honest. At least then I don't have to see the crap she's saying to the tart. There were still pictures of me and her tagged on facebook. I was really angry finding out about her and this tart and I went on a mad deleting spree. I untagged myself in all the pictures so they don't appear on my profile anymore. I did delete her from my bebo profile, then decided to just delete my account instead. And on gaydargirls, I deleted the pictures of us and what I said about her. I felt better at the time, like I'd turned the tables on her. But I doubt she's even noticed! I'm avoiding msn when I know she's online. If I can! Bleh, my ex restricted profiled me. Means I have her as a friend, just can't see the **** she post. I also can't see her albums and crap. She still has pictures of me up, I don't know why. And I think she noticed. Don't be surprised when she starts asking why some stuff are taken down haha And great you did all of that. You're doing fine. You're on your way
GrayClouds Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 (edited) Username37... I really hope you're right! First go NC. Stay NC, Second even if Username37 is right it is almost certain she will not come back to you. Keep working on yourself so you can be ready for the right one when she comes around. Finally understand it will hurt and you will feel crazy for awhile, that is natural after a break-up. It does get better with time but force yourself to focus on you, taking care of you, eating well and exercising, perusing hobbies and being with people who do care for you. They will all help you heal faster. . Edited August 15, 2010 by GrayClouds
Author WolfRouge Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 Thanks again for your replies. Well someone went and told me today that she's moving in with the tart. Talk about too fast! But I cried my eyes out for god knows how long. Then told myself this is the final straw and blocked her on everything. Chat, msn, facebook and deleted her from my myspace profile. The pain is now even worse and I feel like complete ****! Username37, it's probably best you can't see what's being said. And thanks GrayClouds
Username37 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Thanks again for your replies. Well someone went and told me today that she's moving in with the tart. Talk about too fast! But I cried my eyes out for god knows how long. Then told myself this is the final straw and blocked her on everything. Chat, msn, facebook and deleted her from my myspace profile. The pain is now even worse and I feel like complete ****! Username37, it's probably best you can't see what's being said. And thanks GrayClouds A few weeks ago, I caved and I got one of my friend's FB account and I checked her profile. Unrestricted. EVERYTHING. Not good not good haha. If you ever do cave, it's your fault for sure, but you can't help it sometimes you know? It's natural. If you cave, we got your back
Author WolfRouge Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 Thanks I'll try my hardest not to cave. It would be really easy to take her off block to see what she's saying to the mutual friends, but I'll try my hardest not to. I really do feel lost and confused now.
cucumbernub Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I know how it feels. I still have all the passwords to my ex's faecbook and email accounts. Her facebook's password was concerning me, but she changed it to one she always uses and I still know what it is. It's a dangerous situation to be in, and it takes tremendous willpower to stop doing it. Ironically, me having access to her accounts has made me feel better because of the things she's said about me to her friends.
GrayClouds Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Thanks I'll try my hardest not to cave. It would be really easy to take her off block to see what she's saying to the mutual friends, but I'll try my hardest not to. I really do feel lost and confused now. Do not pick the scab it will only bleed. Every time you do not do something that will end up hurting you it is a remind you come first, you deserve better then her and be proud that strong enough to take care of yourself. I does get better.
Author WolfRouge Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) She saying good things then? I did know her passwords when we were together, but I told her to change them because I don't like knowing other peoples passwords. Thank god I did! GrayClouds: One night I was online I didn't even think about looking at others people profiles to see if she posted. But it didn't last long! But as I say, I'll try my best not to unblock her again. Edited August 17, 2010 by WolfRouge
cucumbernub Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Well, she was telling her friends that I'm a really really great person who treated her really really well, and that maybe I'm just too 'decent' for her. I don't really know what this means; but I assume it's because I don't party or go out as much as her (I do, but not to her extent. I love partying but only when I feel like it).
GrayClouds Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 She saying good things then? I did know her passwords when we were together, but I told her to change them because I don't like knowing other peoples passwords. Thank god I did! GrayClouds: One night I was online I didn't even think about looking at others people profiles to see if she posted. But it didn't last long! But as I say, I'll try my best not to unblock her again. Try this: http://blockyourex.com/
Author WolfRouge Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 I guess it's better than bad things, cucumbernub :-) Thanks GrayClouds, I'll give that a try!
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