cdt76 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 My one and only friend after the turmoil of last year, still hangs out with the A-hole and whore. Short story, ex left me for a co-worker friend of mine. My best friend works with me too. He still hangs out with them because he is fairly new to my city and doesn't have a lot of friends here. I never made him choose between them and me. I didn't feel that was fair, even though I've known him for about 8 years and he has only known them for 2. But he still hangs with them. Like tonight, he is out with them, having a grand old time and I went to a bar alone and had an appetizer and beer. The point of all this is that I get VERY angry knowing he is out with them. I've disassociated from everyone at work on a personal level, it's strictly professional. He is my only true friend. I hate to send him packing but I get so angry that he is with them. What do I do?
McGrupp Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 (edited) the answer is easy but effort will be hard. you sir need to make new friends. this is a horrible situation and it is being amplified by you feeling sorry for yourself. time to cut out your friend of 8 years. time to make a new social circle and maybe its time to get a different job and move to a different city. im being completely serious. how horrible do you feel now? really ****ing ****ty, **** man your still posting on here (and so am I) but lets get down to the nitty gritty, lets get this show on the road. you need to gtf out of there. idk know what there is but if your job is good you can transfer, if your job sucks time to look for a new one. this has been going on for a year and you havent given yourself any room to breathe and grow. i did this. without going into specifics i hated my life after the breakup. i ghad to move. i had to meet new people. i had to become the guy i was b4 her. and you gotta to. online date. join a club. meet people in the streets. **** your a young guy im assuming and there is a large world out there annd 3 people can not make you feel like **** all the time. wtf happened to bros b4 hoes? apperently this dude didnt get the memo. you have to ask yourself..."do you have the leverage to create the life you want?" or do you want to feel like this forever. **** life is to short not to be happy, or at least working towards becoming happy. Edited August 12, 2010 by McGrupp
BiAxident Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 If I were you, I would try to lessen the sting of your friends behavior by expanding your social circle. It is somewhat lame of him to be hanging out with them, but so long as he isn't ignoring you, or flaunting/forcing them/stories about them to you, I dont know if I'd go so far as to "cut him loose". Much less move away from the city, but thats a whole different post.
Author cdt76 Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 I have no option but to stay in the city here. My two kids live here and they are young and need me. No other agencies are hiring at the moment, so that isn't an option either. I'm stuck here and nothing I can do about it. I've made the best of the situation so far. I've come a long way. The last thing I want is to get rid of a friend of 8 years. But the more I think about it, the angrier it makes me. So, I guess, I have no alternative but to waive goodbye and start focusing on expanding the group of friends as suggested.
teanoranges Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Congrats on being an adult about the situation and not being the type of person who tells a friend 'them or me'! I respect that a lot and hopefully you handle it all as well as I assume. not many people can be mature in that kind of a situation. If this friend is a good friend and doesn't rub the ex in your face, and keeps the respectable peace between you.. I don't see why you need to drop them. Expand the friend circle.. but you broke up with the ex.. not your friend. Why is it wrong for them to hang out? Are they trash talking you? does said friend hang out with them waay more than you? you said 'best' friend, so I'm assuming he's a pretty good guy. Just understand we are all people. try to think of how you would be in his shoe, or in a similar situation. Don't let your anger with your ex effect your friendships... you could grow to regret it.
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