Eve Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 (edited) Ok, her Mum has died. Hubby is of course supporting his sons at this time of loss but I just thought I would voice some concerns and how I am handling them. Some feedback would be appreciated. Basically, even though this is a sensitive time, I do not trust my Husbands ex. Background info. She is a nothing more than a skank in my eyes. She used her marraige as a way to make herself into a form of 'forbidden fruit', then left her children for a series of twats. A few of these twats were psychos. I did not need to hear anymore about her other than what was necessary for the sake of my Husbands children.. but no, that woman tried to destroy my marraige two years after my Husband had divorced her. Of course, all of that did not work. I have said to Hubby that I want to know every bit of communication that she makes to him at this time simply because I have seen how she operates. My Hubby is a good catch and without her Mum nodding at all her devious plans, she is lost... and I mean LOST. I would say that she is now ready to apologise to him and make a play for him. This is my gut feeling. I always trust my gut. Shes asked him to read something at the funeral .. I say, 'hell no!' but dont know if I am over reacting. The girl side of my nature is reminding me that if it comes to it I must let him go.. but I dont know if I could really do that.. Hubby says he would never go back to her but I just keep thinking, 'men are stupid'. He didnt even realise a former 'friend' of mine was after him! He is clueless. Am I being unreasonable? I need to handle this better. Take care, Eve xx If the worst happened I would survive and start again on my own. Edited August 11, 2010 by Eve
quankanne Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 whoa, that's some serious crap to have to deal with, Eve, and I totally appreciate your concerns. however, I'm guessing this has a lot to do with his standing in support of their children, and while there's potential for things to go awry, don't let that stop you from supporting his decision to do this for them. That's not to say don't give the beech an inch, because you know how she is, but definitely support him and his kids. you have my full support to snatch her bald if she crosses any lines!
Author Eve Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 (edited) whoa, that's some serious crap to have to deal with, Eve, and I totally appreciate your concerns. however, I'm guessing this has a lot to do with his standing in support of their children, and while there's potential for things to go awry, don't let that stop you from supporting his decision to do this for them. That's not to say don't give the beech an inch, because you know how she is, but definitely support him and his kids. you have my full support to snatch her bald if she crosses any lines! Thanks for listening Anne. Today has been a better day. Death casts a shadow on things that takes a while to fade. I just resent the ex using the children to pass on requests that are so sly.. and not even covered up. I mean blatant questioning that suggests she wants him back. All I can say is - a. She can get her MM or current useless boyfriend to do the reading at the funeral. b. She can stop with the messages via the kids. Hubby has made this clear to her now, so I feel better. Plus he is being super attentive towards me even though I have not handled this too eloquently. I wont hold anything against the boys, they have seen their Mum in an inconsolable state. But they better stop with the messages. I have said to Hubby that this could be cathartic for him to have an apology but if he goes back to her he will be a fool. He says he wont because she has slept around and he does not love her anyway. So, I am just going to do a mega clean of the house this weekend and try and forget about all of this. .. She better stay away from my Husband.. Take care, Eve xx Edited August 12, 2010 by Eve
quankanne Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 "I'll take Snatch Her Bald for $200, Alex" :lmao: glad to hear that he's putting your needs ahead of hers ... and I imagine that if the boys will be happy just knowing that he's taking an hour out of his time to pay his respects to their granny. Because it really is about them, not her, no matter what kind of spin she's putting on it. Maybe it's a good time to ask the boys what they're feeling? And gently let them know they don't have to pass along their mom's "messages"?
Author Eve Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 (edited) B]"I'll take Snatch Her Bald for $200' date=' Alex" :lmao:[/b']glad to hear that he's putting your needs ahead of hers ... and I imagine that if the boys will be happy just knowing that he's taking an hour out of his time to pay his respects to their granny. Because it really is about them, not her, no matter what kind of spin she's putting on it. Maybe it's a good time to ask the boys what they're feeling? And gently let them know they don't have to pass along their mom's "messages"? The boys are pretty shaken up.. this is the first death in the family that they have experienced. I have been cut out of the picture Anne so cant really help them right now. I do feel for their Grandad but he openly admits that he will always see my Hubby as his son in law. He wants to go out for drinks with him etc and I just know he would like nothing more than to see his daughter back in a stable relationship. Unlike his late wife he never supported his daughters sudden desire to live a wild lifestyle. Yeah, she has been a good daughter during her Mums illness and seems to be closer to her Dad now. Anne, I know the bitch wants my house, my man and our money.. ... I am getting wound up again.. Take care, Eve xx Edited August 12, 2010 by Eve
Author Eve Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 I have processed the situation fully now. We all have temptations and this tests our level of trust and faith. I am mad at the ex but should not take it out on my Husband. Trust is everything and really I have been through plenty enough with that woman to know that she cannot hurt me. Maybe even apologising will do her some good? We have decided that not responding wherever possible is the way to go forward on this one. The end. Take care, Eve xx
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