Want That Thrill Again!

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

Ever since I was talking to HighPlainsDrifter yesterday about the thrills of breaking NC, I'll admit...I have been tempted...I only broke NC twice, and both times I had a valid reason for doing so. It wasn't a "hiya" out of the blue thing. It was "Hey, I have a reason to talk to you, so here it is"

 

Now I'm wondering about what excuse I can develop to break NC. I'm dying to do it, now. I've spent the whole day with it in the back of my head, and now I'm finished work, and back at home with all the time in the world to think about it, I've been listening to music mulling over a possible excuse.

 

See, thing is; I've far too much pride to break NC naturally. Unless I've an excuse its not something I'd even consider but now...I dunno. Something about that conversation yesterday planted the idea in my mind, and it seems to have fermented to the point where I'm now very ready to dispel any pride I may have in return for that little thrill I get when I send that text into the big, bad world...:-/

 

Damn, just when it seemed to be getting easier...

[Beeotch]

You can "break NC" a million times as needed before you get to a point of naturally not wanting to do it anymore.

 

That to me is when it becomes effective.

 

One of my favorite quotes is:

 

"A belief may be comforting; however, it is only through experience does it become liberating"

 

Which simply means that no amount of you intellectually believing something or other people telling you to do/not to do something really helps...it is only once you get to a point of conviction within yourself, through experience, that it becomes liberating.

 

Soo..I never beat people up about NC and act like a Nazi, cuz 9/10 people esp in the beginning have no concept of what it really means, they think it is a trick to get their ex back or some cure-all and that once they do that but don't work on themselves they'll "get better" and the list goes on. I accept that one has to just truly reach a point of realization or conviction for themselves where they decide it really is the best and they do want to move forward, that's when it really works.

 

Everyone gets to that point in their own time. Sometimes it does take the drama of hanging out, getting your hopes up, even sometimes temporarily getting back with this person and a lot of back and forth before you once and for all experience the pointlessness and say eff it! At least then you will know for a fact.

Edited August 11, 2010 by Beeotch

[Thierro]

Sometimes I believe we all need to break NC and just go through the whole experience because most of us are still pining, still fantasizing, still hoping. We need to stop that and end it. People go NC and try to climb up again to the same place they were before. Hoping that the journey back has changed them, but in the end for most of us, it didn’t.

 

So break NC get shot down and never be able to climb back up again; the only way out is digging a different way to god knows where.

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

I think I've figured out why I'm considering breaking NC...

 

I've been wondering how she is so strong! The last time we spoke face to face was in her apartment as she asked me to leave. She was crying, upset because we'd had our very first argument. I know how upset she was at breaking up with me, but she was just as angry because she was convinced she was right in the argument...

 

Now a thought came to me...if I break NC...and she responds...is that what she was waiting for? All this time I've been trying to move on, get past her, and now I realise I STILL don't want to. The thought that she may be wanting me to get in touch first has now occupied my mind.

 

F*ck. It never ends! O.o

[sultry33]

Yeah i was the same i thought maybe he wants me to chase him..

hell he still said he loved me:confused: but no... he didnt want me.

 

After so many doubts and trying i gave up.. im glad i did as you will too one day.. it just takes time