CrayonAngel Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 A poor lady I work with has 4 children under 6 and one on the way(due this fall) Her H's affair was discovered about a month ago and she served him Divorce papers once she found out OW was pregnant. She went to go pick up her son from him one day and when she was leaving she heard a gunshot. She told her son to get in the car and she went in to find him dead. She is damaged beyond belief. I'm not real close with her...but no one knows what to say. I don't think she will be back anytime soon...I feel bad for everyone involved! She is expecting his baby soon and OW will be having one sometime in the next 9 mos. How does one really recover from all of that? He showed no signs of being suicidal or depressed. Do you ever fear that something like this could happen if the crap hit the fan?
NoIDidn't Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Such a sad situation. Mostly for the kids and the W, IMO. What do you say to a woman in this position - pregnant but divorcing a man that ends up killing himself? Its different if he didn't kill himself. You let her demonize him all she wants until she starts to feel strong enough to really confront her real feelings of fear and lonliness. But when he's dead? No one likes to speak ill of the dead. I know of a situation similar to this. The OW terminated after the W killed the H in self-defense. He was trying to kill the W and the unborn child. Very sad situations. It sucks to know of the situation but not feel close enough to help, whatever help actually would look like. This family will be in my prayers.
Silly_Girl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 That's so tragic. What a shame. I don't believe, however, that these situations happen out of nothing. Perhaps his affair was another symptom of a troubled mental health he was suffering from. People commit suicide in a lot of different circumstances, perhaps if it hadn't been this then something else might have driven this poor man to his death.
porcupine Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I second everything NID said... It's always terrible when a suicide happens, but even more so when there are other emotions at work. My sympathies with all the people involved, especially the children. What will the two unborn know of their father? A sad story. But yes, these things can end in tragedy. I don't know why we(humans) have to resort to violence, either towards ourselves or others, but the fallout is so bad when it happens, I don't really know what to say. An in-law of an extended family member was jailed for life two years ago for hiring some man to shoot and kill her husband's OW. It turned out her husband was killed and the OW survived. I remember being really shocked at the whole thing. At the woman for getting so mad at her WS and the OW to do such a thing, at the WS for being so blatant with his affair..the whole thing chilled me. The children may as well be orphans.... It never fails to amaze me the depths to which our emotions can take us, whether in joy, sorrow or fear. I have a healthy respect for depression, and can see how death can sometimes seem like the answer, but I tend to really just feel so bad for the ones left behind. It's an awful thing.
bestplayer Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 A poor lady I work with has 4 children under 6 and one on the way(due this fall) Her H's affair was discovered about a month ago and she served him Divorce papers once she found out OW was pregnant. She went to go pick up her son from him one day and when she was leaving she heard a gunshot. She told her son to get in the car and she went in to find him dead. She is damaged beyond belief. I'm not real close with her...but no one knows what to say. I don't think she will be back anytime soon...I feel bad for everyone involved! She is expecting his baby soon and OW will be having one sometime in the next 9 mos. How does one really recover from all of that? He showed no signs of being suicidal or depressed. Do you ever fear that something like this could happen if the crap hit the fan? I think in a situation like this people should proactively come forward to help her , all her problems will get worse because of the fact that she is poor .
Mimolicious Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Oh dayum! Such a tragedy. I always say it that playing around with emotions is a recipe for disaster sometimes. You never know when someone is going to snap, even yourself. My cousin's H was having an A and got the OW prego. The OW kept on threating him that she was going to go to my cousin and tell her and beat her a$$ (beats me why she wanted to beat my cuz while prego too) He snapped, when home got his gun came back and bucked her a few times. She survived, the baby didn't. He's in jail for like 20 + years... It's been a while now. So sad... my cousin was left with 2 kids too.
Confused4Now Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 A poor lady I work with has 4 children under 6 and one on the way(due this fall) Her H's affair was discovered about a month ago and she served him Divorce papers once she found out OW was pregnant. She went to go pick up her son from him one day and when she was leaving she heard a gunshot. She told her son to get in the car and she went in to find him dead. She is damaged beyond belief. I'm not real close with her...but no one knows what to say. I don't think she will be back anytime soon...I feel bad for everyone involved! She is expecting his baby soon and OW will be having one sometime in the next 9 mos. How does one really recover from all of that? He showed no signs of being suicidal or depressed. Do you ever fear that something like this could happen if the crap hit the fan?when I left my marriage 31 months ago...the first 8 months was hell for me. I do remember a time when I had thoughts of suicide and how everything in my life was in turmoil...My xW knew about my MW at the time. My kids adjusting things happening. My plate was sooooooo full I couldn't even breath. It was like I was living my life hour to hour thats how bad it was. Up until that time in my life I could never understand how people could even think about putting an end to their lives.....but it was the first time in my life I could relate to that thought. I'm so glad where I am today:)
pureinheart Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 A poor lady I work with has 4 children under 6 and one on the way(due this fall) Her H's affair was discovered about a month ago and she served him Divorce papers once she found out OW was pregnant. She went to go pick up her son from him one day and when she was leaving she heard a gunshot. She told her son to get in the car and she went in to find him dead. She is damaged beyond belief. I'm not real close with her...but no one knows what to say. I don't think she will be back anytime soon...I feel bad for everyone involved! She is expecting his baby soon and OW will be having one sometime in the next 9 mos. How does one really recover from all of that? He showed no signs of being suicidal or depressed. Do you ever fear that something like this could happen if the crap hit the fan? Wow...my prayers and thoughts are with all parties involved....((((hugs)))) CA......
Author CrayonAngel Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 She blames herself :( For giving him divorce papers...I feel horrible for her. I've seen alot of suicide in my 24 years of life..and I always thought "How selfish" but sometimes people get to a point where they see that as their only option..it's a horrible feeling. I've been there in the past year..and I am past it now..thank god. But I feel bad for everyone in this situation..the OW/her H. The W and children...then the 2 unborn children...when I think about it, it just makes me want to cry for them.
bentnotbroken Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 She blames herself :( For giving him divorce papers...I feel horrible for her. I've seen alot of suicide in my 24 years of life..and I always thought "How selfish" but sometimes people get to a point where they see that as their only option..it's a horrible feeling. I've been there in the past year..and I am past it now..thank god. But I feel bad for everyone in this situation..the OW/her H. The W and children...then the 2 unborn children...when I think about it, it just makes me want to cry for them. I know it will be hard for her not to blame herself, but the suicide couldn't have been changed by her. When the thought enters one's mind, it isn't necessarily anyone thing that pushes you to that direction. It is the inability to see things rationally. Who knows the A may have come about as a result of depression. I do feel for her and her family. All one can do is pray, offer support and be vigilant to see if she needs outside help.
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