TheWatcher Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 This was part of a online dating profile that I came across recently (woman 36) that I found to be refreshingly honest & interesting.I have to agree with her to some extent. Last but definitely not least. Before messaging me... take a look in the mirror and ask yourself this question.. Would this girl even look at me twice on the street ? in a club or whatever ?.Yes, life is not all about looks but for me personally there has to be that initial physical attraction. Please!! That way you're not wasting your time or mine. I think that more men should look in the mirror before even considering dating or pursuing a woman.Not necessarily in terms of looks but in general terms.I think that as men a lot of us fool ourselves into thinking that we can be deficient & lacking in a number of areas & still be desirable in the dating world.Looks aside....if you're lacking in charisma or status (car,home/great apartment,finances)I don't think that you should be putting yourself out there. Some men buy into the fallacy that there's someone out there for everybody and actually believe women will look past their many faults & deficiencies/red flags...and find them suitable in some way.A man should always ask himself whether or not he is the best that a woman could do...would she consider herself lucky/blessed for having him in her life or is he the guy that a woman settles for because she wasn't able to find her ideal.
zengirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I wouldn't write that because, to me, it is self-evident. And also it would scare away some cute, shy guys who aren't ugly and plenty of ugly fellows would still message you. Like most of these "Don't message me if" things, it rarely sifts out the people you want to keep away because they'll mostly contact you regardless and might sift out someone perfectly acceptable, based on their own ideas of how they appear. I dated a fellow who never would've asked me out and didn't think I'd say "yes" if I saw him on the street, but he was a total cutie whose clothes I enjoyed ripping off. He didn't have bad self-esteem really, either, but he was reserved, shy, and had some notion by looking at me that I was ever-so-slightly out of his league (he didn't have some idea all women found him unappealing) I imagine because he wasn't tall, a gymrat, or any of the myriad of mythical things fellows post that are uber-important to women about male looks. . . that in my view, aren't. The fact is, not all people like the same thing! If I'm not attracted to a fellow, I just decline his advances and/or ignore the message and move along. I don't think it means they can't try. Now creepy old guys who don't meet my age filters. . . . they bug me. Read the numbers at the bottom that the site pre-screens for you, man. As do the fellows who message me when we have a 30% compatibility rating, with little to say except that we have so much "in common" when they mention nothing from my profile and have no similar interests in theirs. So. . . we both think I'm cute; that's what we have in common. No, thanks.
LoveLace Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I think it's a little weird to ask a person to take a look in the mirror before they message you... I think it's only necessary to say please have a photo because attraction is important to me to a certain extent. When you don't like the photo or whatever you move on. You can even include exactly what you like or don't like physically, to maybe weed out some. But to say "look in the mirror before you waste my time", doesn't sound very mature to me...
Shakz Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I would read this and conclude that this a person who is exceedingly shallow and not worth my time. Absurd! The arrogance of it appalls me. "Look at yourself, now look at me. Are you serious?" I hesitate to use this word, but what I read is b**ch! It's not refreshing, or even particularly honest.
elaina Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Well, it is honest, but at the same time, it's confusing. "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" as the saying goes, so how does the guy know if she would deem him worthy? If she has a certain look in mind, she should just specify that, I'd think, like if she wants muscular tall men with a great smile or ? to respond to her, then she could specify that right? Instead of just saying look in the mirror ...? If I were a handsome guy I wouldn't respond to that though. It's good to learn how guys think and how to communicate in a good way, since it is true that men and women are different. As a girl, if I were looking online for somebody, I would be turned off and not feel right about replying to a guy who wrote something like that, because I wouldn't know if he would find me worthy (for him) or not.
LoveLace Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 As a girl, if I were looking online for somebody, I would be turned off and not feel right about replying to a guy who wrote something like that, because I wouldn't know if he would find me worthy (for him) or not. Ditto...it's like asking someone else to make the judgement for you before they even pursue you..but the judgement is supposed to be all up to us. The only kind of man (or woman) I can see responding to an ad like this is one that is equally as stuck up as the one who wrote it.
ReadyforLove Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 This woman is too old to be this shallow. If I were a man I would definitely be turned off or even intimidated by her words.
phineas Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I don't mind seeing profiles that say "I work out regularly & stay in shape & want the same in my partner" or something along the lines of their looking for someone they find attractive which is stateing the obvious to me. But that? I'd change my profile picture to the Toxic Avenger & message her. LOL! was she hot?
Author TheWatcher Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 I don't mind seeing profiles that say "I work out regularly & stay in shape & want the same in my partner" or something along the lines of their looking for someone they find attractive which is stateing the obvious to me. But that? I'd change my profile picture to the Toxic Avenger & message her. LOL! was she hot? I personally wasn't attracted to her.I became a member of the site just to browse the profiles not to participate in any way. I think that her demand is indicative of how many people feel but they tend to word it in more diplomatic terms.I agree with looking at one's self (especially men) & asking certain questions before entering the dating world;what would disqualify you...in a woman's eyes...from being a potential partner or someone that they would date.
phineas Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I'm seperated 15 months & just waiting for judge to sign off on divorce papers. I've been busting my ass working out since then. I will not attempt online dateing until I can say two things truthfully: 1. I am divorced. 2. I can put down Athletic & toned as my body type. To do otherwise seems like a useless endeaver based on the many posts here.
Knittress Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I agree with it, but I wouldn't say it. Like previously stated, creeps will be creeps and a person of a more humble disposition might find the declaration offputting. I won't look twice at a profile that makes allusions about minimum standards of desireability (even if I surpass them). Because while they do exist and people are entitled to their preferences, a person that throws it out there like just comes across as being... unkind.
Peter Attis Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 This woman is too old to be this shallow. If I were a man I would definitely be turned off or even intimidated by her words. Exactly. If she's that old and still on some high school "You must be super hot before you even talk to me" BS, that's probably the reason she's still single and using dating sites. Not worth anyone's time, honestly.
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