iwcfan Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 While I was away on vacation I realized that my girlfriend of a little over a year was acting strange when texting me, etc. I kept pressing her about it until she gave up and told me she no longer had feelings for me. We both had rules set for each other that there were certian people we each didn't trust that we would each break off communication with. Lo and behold I learn that around the time of the dumping she had been hanging out with a boy she promised me she wanted nothing to do with. She tried hiding this from me as best as possible and I eventually found out via a friend of hers. She claims to have never kissed or had sex with him, which I can believe. Overwhelmed by everything that happened, I would have expected her to try and at least have some sympathy for me but whenever I brought up how hurt i was my only responses were along the lines of "Sorry Jason, a relationship is no longer right for me". The only call I got from her was to ask about a friend of hers that i mentioned to her earlier who was also hurt by her changes in behavior who reached out to me. No regard for my feelings. Since yesterday I responded to a wall post from a friend basically explaining that I have no business having somebody so shady and low in my life, and that it was time for me to move on. I de-friended her and stopped contact. I get back on fb and it looks like she blocked me. Do you think the act of her blocking me was an act of jealousy/retaliation, or her legitimately trying to move on? She is a bit immature so its hard to tell. Ultimately I don't want the relationship back, but I do want her to realize how much she has hurt me and at the same time know that I will be happier off without her. Will just walking away from everything we had be effective in doing so? Any opinions are appreciated!!
Don Ho Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 "I do want her to realize how much she has hurt me". Why would you want that? It's going to change nothing. It's not going to make you feel any better and it won't work to make her feel bad because she's moved on. So you're going to tell her you're happier without her? Ok, but telling her that, to me, demonstrates that you are not happier without her. I think she made it clear she doesn't want to be with you. For your piece of mind and healing you have to go NC. If you really don't want her back, if she comes begging, ignore her and keep moving on. BTW. For the next GF you get, when you feel something isn't right or that she's pulling away.... the YOU pull away without pressing and asking what's up. You just pull back and let her come to you. If she asks, "why haven't I heard from you" she's TESTING you. I would then say something like "Hey I've been really busy with ..... how are you?".
Author iwcfan Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 "I do want her to realize how much she has hurt me". Why would you want that? It's going to change nothing. It's not going to make you feel any better and it won't work to make her feel bad because she's moved on. So you're going to tell her you're happier without her? Ok, but telling her that, to me, demonstrates that you are not happier without her. I think she made it clear she doesn't want to be with you. For your piece of mind and healing you have to go NC. If you really don't want her back, if she comes begging, ignore her and keep moving on. BTW. For the next GF you get, when you feel something isn't right or that she's pulling away.... the YOU pull away without pressing and asking what's up. You just pull back and let her come to you. If she asks, "why haven't I heard from you" she's TESTING you. I would then say something like "Hey I've been really busy with ..... how are you?". I read your post and can learn from what you said. To answer your question, I basically wish the sweetest most loving girl I once knew would perhaps return and replace the emotionless one that she is right now. I am aware this is probably a pipe dream and I am still a bit unsure of what I want. She is good at hiding things and I have to believe that she has her doubts in her mind even if her actions don't say so. A friend of mine has been talking about the breakup with her back and forth all day yesterday so I know the breakup itself is enough to concern her. I am unsure what she is trying to do but regardless I am going to go the NC route like you said, very rough thought but it will be for the best. Thanks!
cookie2 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 (edited) We both had rules set for each other that there were certian people we each didn't trust I don't get this part. Surely other people are irrelevant, it shouldn't matter how other people behave (unless they sexually assault etc). If you trust each other then you don't need trust in other people, because you know your partner will tell them NO. By saying you don't trust other people, what you are really saying is that you don't trust your partner to say NO to those other people. Edited August 11, 2010 by cookie2
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