How can a UNattractive man, think he has his pick of the litter?

[Mad Max]

You already know these women, and know that they are bitches. That's why I said when you first see a beautiful woman. So basically you missed my entire point.

 

 

Even when I first started working there, I wasn't sexually attracted to them. But even if you are, attitude can easily change that.

[TheLoneSock]

Hence, their outward "high standard" facade hides an inward insecurity. Pretty much textbook.

 

Same applies for women, just so you all don't think I'm singling out men here.

 

This here is the main thing. It's where the difference lies.

 

People are not insecure for innately desiring a very beautiful woman/man, they are insecure for outwardly and arrogantly boasting that they'll settle for no less.

[Enchanted Girl]

Somebody made a good point we talk about confidence as if its some magical word that will make ugly people be attratcive and its bs "Just have confidence" "its not about looks its about confidence"

 

Looks are a huge part of relatiosnhips,yes other things count also but i cant be with a person that i cant imagine ever even making out with nor cna most people im sorry

 

We sugar coat things for ugly people Man or women,if they come on here and complain we tell them love yourself be confident and people will automatically be attracted to you and its not true,some people just arent attractive to most of the oppsoite sex

 

Im not saying we should rip them and say their gonan die ugly and lonely what im saying is we should bea little more honest and tell them how hard its gonna be for them to attract somebody and it may never happen for them because of the cards they were dealt

 

I disagree a lot. It's the only way I can justify certain people who can get lots of men/women.

 

There was a guy at one of my workplaces. He was 5'2", weighed 110 pounds (he told me this himself), had horrible acne, and a giant nose. I hated him and always fought with him, but all the other girls there were swooning over him constantly. The reason him and I didn't get along was because he thought he was super attractive and entitled to a lot of things. Unfortunately, he convinced a lot of girls to agree with him.

 

Then there was one of my best friends in high school. She was SURROUNDED by men and if a girl is genuinely pretty and surrounded, I won't say this kind of thing, but she wasn't pretty, so I didn't understand it. She was 5'10", weighed 78 pounds, had very small eyes and a tiny head, huge feet, also had bad acne, and was less than an A-cup.

 

I've always had trouble getting guys. I've also always had an inferiority complex when it comes to relationships and men. I never think that's a coincidence.

 

Why else would people find these very ugly people, physically attractive?

[InceptorsRule]

I don't get it. If they are not attractive- Maybe they are very overweight, very bald, have bad teeth, bad hygiene or maybe its not just about your looks but you have no job or a bad personality...what makes them think they can have what they want?

 

Well for one thing if they have enough money they can find plenty of women willing to slut it up in exchange for financial generosity. Also if they can emulate the "bad boy" attitude they can find plenty of women who will disregard their "unattractive" attributes.

[TheLoneSock]

Even when I first started working there, I wasn't sexually attracted to them. But even if you are, attitude can easily change that.

 

Well that's true that a vibe can change everything when it comes to attraction. But their raw, physical attractiveness can't be denied. Attraction as a whole obviously has more to do than just with looks, that's a given. We can get into your personal preferences (or mine for that matter) all day but it is irrelevant.

[InceptorsRule]

No I'm in my twenties. so far you have assumed I'm a teen and bitter. funny.

 

Well your original post and some of the follow ups makes it pretty obvious that some cocky guy or guys at work hit on you or flirted with you in a sexualized way and you apparently think you're "too good" for whoever it was, and are offended that such an ugly beast could think you would have anything to do with him.

 

Besides what does chronological age have to do with emotional maturity? Plenty of women in their twenties might as well be 14 for all the maturity they have.

[Enchanted Girl]

Well your original post and some of the follow ups makes it pretty obvious that some cocky guy or guys at work hit on you or flirted with you in a sexualized way and you apparently think you're "too good" for whoever it was, and are offended that such an ugly beast could think you would have anything to do with him.

 

Her posts do?

 

I read the thread totally differently. I read it that she was writing these things because those guys didn't hit on her and had rejected her too many times and she assumed that all men were the same way.

[InceptorsRule]

Her posts do?

 

I read the thread totally differently. I read it that she was writing these things because those guys didn't hit on her and had rejected her too many times and she assumed that all men were the same way.

 

Now I think you're probably right, I misread it.

 

But your reading, while correct, makes her post actually even crazier.

 

She's mad at these guys, who she supposedly doesn't like anyway because they're not attractive + overly-arrogant, for NOT hitting on her? That's not even logical. It they're unattractive and boorish she should be HAPPY they don't hit on her, which is why I got it wrong, because I assumed the OP was sane. Mea culpa.

[brainygirl]

I'm too lazy to read the whole thread, but I'm gonna put in my two cents anyway.

 

the problem is society. We place so much value on outward appearance that we have begun to harm ourselves. In times past a good candidate for a wive was someone who cooked well, cleaned, was active in church and good with kids. Her appearance played a role, but not the huge role it plays now. Also, fashions were such that a person's "shape" was harder to determine and therefore harder to critique.

 

Men were judged on their ability to work hard and provide for their families, a man who wanted to marry a woman would have to win over her family.

 

Now we want someone who is "on our level", but being egotisitcal creatures, we place ourselves in a higher bracket than we really belong and reject people based on small, surface things that really don't matter.

 

If I want a partner to laugh and help me raise my family, why does it matter what car he drives? If a guy wants a wife who will be fun and to grow old with, what does her dress size really matter?

 

It both genders. Men value pure astetics, while women insist on "wealth" and "power" .

 

We're both wrong.

 

My strategy, I just want to meet people and take them as they are, where they are. If we hit it off, great, if not, great move along. I wish others would do the same.

[PJKino]

I hear this all the time on here form scorned women but id like to see posts on here or see in life in general where all these slobs think theyre entitled and will only settle for supermodels..I think some women are getting bitter that they arent as desirable as they think they should be so now every Man has too high a standard is the reason and i dont think its true at all

 

I know im ugly,and the few times i even tried to approach women they looked at me as if i shouldnt be in their airspace and these werent sueprmodels by any stretch or even attractive women

 

So cry me a river,women are just as bad and superfiical as Men and not these innocent nurturing non superficial creatures like you want us to believe..

[K'aycie]

I don't get it. If they are not attractive- Maybe they are very overweight, very bald, have bad teeth, bad hygiene or maybe its not just about your looks but you have no job or a bad personality...what makes them think they can have what they want?

 

 

After reading some of the posts from men on here, I'm extremely curious what makes them think they could get someone with the standards they declare.

 

You all must be very intelligent, rich, and very handsome to have some of the qualities you ask for..

 

For some of the guys to say they only date "model looking chicks" or "hot slender chicks" I take it you fit that mold?

 

Because there is someone for everyone, and it's not always about looks.

[Enchanted Girl]

Now I think you're probably right, I misread it.

 

But your reading, while correct, makes her post actually even crazier.

 

She's mad at these guys, who she supposedly doesn't like anyway because they're not attractive + overly-arrogant, for NOT hitting on her? That's not even logical. It they're unattractive and boorish she should be HAPPY they don't hit on her, which is why I got it wrong, because I assumed the OP was sane. Mea culpa.

 

I don't think it's crazy. She's just afraid that men that are in her league will reject her and think she's unspecial and that it's all men. It's important, in my opinion, for two people in a relationship to value one another and not be constantly thinking about how if they were just a little hotter, they could have gotten someone who was "better."

 

That's the problem with some of the posts in this thread. They keep telling her not to worry, that eventually someone will be able to settle for her, but I don't like to be that pessimistic and thing that everyone except for that 1% of hot people (who lose their looks when they are old) are secretly wishing the other person in the relationship was hotter and would drop them quickly if they could get someone who was hotter.

 

But I agree with you and that's pretty much what I said in my earlier post. If she's not perfect looking, then it's actually a blessing, because she's weeding out those *******s and not having to learn they are *******s the hard way by them liking her.

[InceptorsRule]

In times past a good candidate for a wive was someone who cooked well, cleaned, was active in church and good with kids. Her appearance played a role, but not the huge role it plays now.

 

I disagree.

 

In the movie "One Million Years B.C." Raquel Welch was by far the most sought-after of the cave girls.

 

They couldn't put it in a movie if it wasn't true.

[SteveC80]

I love it when less attractive people get on there high horse and tell us how great they are because looks dont matter to them

 

Looks dont matter to you much because you dont have enough options to be overly picky you have t otake what you can get at times from a looks stand point. If you were better looking and did have more dating options you would be more selective from a looks standpoint,its supply and demand

[counterman]

He's either really confident or just blowing his own trumpet.

 

I've noticed this too. From my experience, the guys that are like this do not even ask girls out or, if they do, haven't been out with an attractive girl. It's to make themselves feel better.

 

In saying that, I know a lot of guys that aim high.

[bac]

I know a few guys who belong to the lowest league.

Based on common sense and their personal history, there has been no chick in the higher leagues who would want to date them at all.

I personally tried to advice them to look for women in their own league, but they did not listen to anyone.

It does not make any sense to me how a guy who has all possible negative qualities and even more, can be looking for a much younger, beautiful, intelligent, independent, fit and sexy lady.

[tami-chan]

.... because I assumed the OP was sane. Mea culpa.

 

InceptorsRule, you're funny! :lmao:

[You'reasian]

I don't get it. If they are not attractive- Maybe they are very overweight, very bald, have bad teeth, bad hygiene or maybe its not just about your looks but you have no job or a bad personality...what makes them think they can have what they want?

 

 

After reading some of the posts from men on here, I'm extremely curious what makes them think they could get someone with the standards they declare.

 

You all must be very intelligent, rich, and very handsome to have some of the qualities you ask for..

 

For some of the guys to say they only date "model looking chicks" or "hot slender chicks" I take it you fit that mold?

 

If you can make a woman laugh, you can get a chance at her heart. I see plenty of scrubb looking guys with decently attractive females, not only because they can laugh but because they're used to scrubb style...

 

Lastly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder

 

I could be lean, muscular, active, wear fashionable clothes that fit my body well, smell great etc, etc but if this is not what you are used to, you will not be attracted to me and actually have more fun with a rough kind of guy or a computer geek kinda guy or whatever u like.

Edited August 12, 2010 by You'reasian

[djhall]

Because there is someone for everyone' date=' and it's not always about looks.[/quote']

It's true! I saw it in a movie... Beauty and something...

[Els]

I think the OP is just annoyed at guys in general criticizing women like they're entitled to a supermodel chick who's also a lawyer and winner of the last American Idol, when they're overweight, balding, jobless and dumb fellows themselves.

 

I know lots of guys in college who do that. Talking about how they'd totally bang a certain very hot girl (ignoring the fact that the girl isn't even interested in them to begin with) and making offensive jokes about her slightly pudgy friend, when even the friend weighs probably 50lbs less than them, and has a job/is doing reasonably well in college. While they themselves spend all day playing computer games and are perpetually broke because they spend all their allowance on cigarettes and booze, and have had to redo a couple of years in college. It's like... an ant feeling he's entitled to being with a lion and criticizing a cat for being 'too small for him'. Y'know?

[zengirl]

Because all guys hear from women is them saying looks don't matter to them and personality and confidence does and its us shallow pig males that only care about looks remember?

 

 

How is it surprising then that ugly guys who feel confident and think they got a good personality are trying to go after hot women?

 

Looks matter to everyone. I've never heard a classically (mainstream) attractive woman say, "Looks don't matter." And very rarely even average woman or someone deemed unattractive by today's standards. What I have heard a lot of women say are, "Looks aren't everything" or "Looks aren't enough." I've heard that MORE often from women than men, but I've heard both say it.

 

Of course looks matter. That said, I really don't mind if an unattractive (to me) person comes up to me or anything, so long as he takes a firm "no" like a healthy person and doesn't act angry, bitter, crazy, entitled, or overly persistent about it. I do hate when people get all defensive at a turn-down, like "What do you think you're better than me? You can't have a conversation?!?" when they're clearly trying to hit on me. No, I cannot have a conversation with you about how cute my smile is or one where you're invading my personal space even though you don't know me; it's clear you're hitting on me. It's not like you asked me the time, and I snapped at you, dude. Just take the "not interested" and move along. Peace.

 

So, long as THAT doesn't happen, I've no worries about anyone and their "leagues".

 

I'm surprised that you'd list this in the context of 'a good thing.' Men are what they are (and more), and I'm not judging - but women aren't particularly flattered by the thought that she attracts male interest solely because she appears adequate and willing to meet his sexual needs.

(I'm not saying this shouldn't be a factor, but we'd like the list to be a LITTLE longer, I'd think)

 

Yes. Precisely. I want a fellow who cares about a lot more than how I look and if/how/when I'll sleep with him. That's terribly off-putting.

[Anela]

I haven't read this whole thread, I just have to say what gets me with all of this talk - mainly from men, occasionally from women - is the consensus that a woman or man wouldn't be up to anyone's standards, if they don't look like a model.

 

"God forbid anyone have standards."

 

Ugh. Less attractive people don't deserve to be loved, as well? It seems there are so many guys out there, who complain about women being shallow, and expecting so much out of the men of this world, but they ignore the women who aren't so shallow, just because they aren't stunners... and the PUA's of the world, are taught that women don't necessarily go for looks - they're taught how to trigger something that *might* bring about the right emotions/arousal in a woman, so that they can land the hotties. Personality be damned.

 

I shouldn't be on this board, what with the mood I'm in. It just ticks me off. Great people overlooked, because of physical standards.

 

(And me? I've attracted my share of attention, but I hate being seen as someone who has physical assets that could please someone for a while - being seen as *just* that. I expect more - for example, I wouldn't be one to think someone's a stud for sleeping with hundreds of women, I'd be turned off by that. A little depth is good.)

Edited August 12, 2010 by Anela

[SteveC80]

Looks matter to everyone. I've never heard a classically (mainstream) attractive woman say, "Looks don't matter." And very rarely even average woman or someone deemed unattractive by today's standards. What I have heard a lot of women say are, "Looks aren't everything" or "Looks aren't enough." I've heard that MORE often from women than men, but I've heard both say it.

 

Of course looks matter. That said, I really don't mind if an unattractive (to me) person comes up to me or anything, so long as he takes a firm "no" like a healthy person and doesn't act angry, bitter, crazy, entitled, or overly persistent about it. I do hate when people get all defensive at a turn-down, like "What do you think you're better than me? You can't have a conversation?!?" when they're clearly trying to hit on me. No, I cannot have a conversation with you about how cute my smile is or one where you're invading my personal space even though you don't know me; it's clear you're hitting on me. It's not like you asked me the time, and I snapped at you, dude. Just take the "not interested" and move along. Peace.

 

So, long as THAT doesn't happen, I've no worries about anyone and their "leagues".

 

 

 

Yes. Precisely. I want a fellow who cares about a lot more than how I look and if/how/when I'll sleep with him. That's terribly off-putting.

 

Of course,its supply and demand people will be a shallow and picky as they can get away with considering the options they have

 

All this oh i wasnt attracted to him or her at all at first but his personality made me attracted to him is nonsense,maybe he wasnt Brad Pitt but nobody gets with people they think are unattratcive or ugly i dont care if their the nicest person in the world

 

The real story is that person wasnt the greatest looking person in the world but wasnt bad and is probaby as good as i can get with what i bring to the table so i gave him a chance because we connected..

[Chicago_Guy]

In my experience it is MOSTLY a man thing. I hear it at work and read about it here.

 

Mad? No. Just find it nervy that some guys think they have a right to demand such things.

 

Men are generally more superficial than women are with respect to their partner's physical appearance.

 

However, women are far, far more superficial about other things. For example, some women will refuse to date an otherwise seemingly attractive man just because they don't like the shoes he is wearing, he isn't tall enough (even if he is still taller than her), he doesn't make enough money, or isn't funny enough. How often do you hear men complaining about the way women dress unless the woman is wearing something totally outrageous?

 

Read some of the threads here and you'll see many guys complaining about how they cannot get any women. I would bet that the reasons why women are rejecting those guys are highly superficial. How many women cannot get any men at all unless they are super fat or have some kind of deformity or serious personality disorder?

Edited August 13, 2010 by Chicago_Guy

[harmfulsweetz]

And women do the exact same

 

 

Course we do. Everyone does it. It's life. Yet, I do think and this is just my opinion, take from that what you will, that men have a tendency to focus more on looks than they do anything else when talking it up with the guys. That's fine, because I suppose women are shallow in other areas.

 

I love how OP states that men are shallow, women aren't, then says she wouldn't date a guy without a car.