How can a UNattractive man, think he has his pick of the litter?

[Katie29]

Yup women put looks just a high on the list as Men and look for things like money status and power so id say they are more shallow or picky

 

Women will only bend when they reach their 30's and the bioligcal clock is ticking and the younger women are making them less relevant,they then "settle" for a guy who in their 20's they would have ignored and was closer to them on the social food chain then they wanted to believe

 

This is such BS. Women bend because of their biological clock? I don't plan to bend..I hope to fall in love.

[TheWatcher]

I've never not had a car, but I imagine if I didn't, I'd be less dateable, even as a woman, in some places. It'd just become a hassle! Who wants to pick someone up every single time, unless you happen to live ridiculously close?

 

I have to respectfully disagree with you zengirl when you write that not having a car would make you less dateable.A woman not having a vehicle isn't a potential deal-breaker for men as it is for some women.As a guy...one of the things that makes me undateable or undesirable is my lack of an automobile.Not bitter about it...just a fact.It is in no way the same for women...in my opinion.

 

Most men take it as a given that they will be picking their dates/partners up and driving to A or B location.It is not seen as a hassle.No matter the frequency.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm sure men and women can be equally shallow, but when it comes to the "looks" thing I'm afraid men have the market cornered. Disclaimer: THIS IS A GENERALIZATION.

 

I used to be a professional dancer. I worked in night clubs. I talked to lots and lots of men. The majority of them were middle aged and not physically attractive. Big guts, bad combovers & nasty teeth galore ... you get the picture. Not a pretty one. Yet many of these guys were so ready to complain to us young women about how the wife had let herself go. They truly felt "entitled" to a very good looking young woman. Just because.

 

Anyone who would like to take an objective look at this question, just do that. Look around. How often do you see awful looking women with stunning men? And how often do you see poor looking fellows with great looking women?

 

I'm not saying that the men are more shallow. In fact, I think that the (stereotypical) shallowness styles of each gender can be complimentary. It's been said on these fora many times before and I believe it is true; some women trade good looks for some kind of security, while some men are willing to trade the security for the youth and looks.

 

Still, a lot of the men feel like they can get the looks without giving up the dough (or having any to give up) ... and without offering physical attractiveness of their own to the ladies.

[Knittress]

Why do people go on about how the other gender is 'shallow?' I think what we're really commenting on are particular dating criterion that we personally feel insecure about.

 

Having standards and preferences isn't shallow, it's ONLY seeing other human beings as having value according to the boxes they tick off your list that is shallow. A great deal of people are like this. Men and women.

[MrNate]

@ meerkat: I'm sorry but you cracked me up with that list post lol. Especially the fuchsia part.. Lol. But really if a woman has a lengthy list of requirements to pass (ie hoops to jump through) I'll excuse myself.

[Mad Max]

Some people think they're God's gift to the opposite sex and even the world. It's not limited to either gender. I've seen men that are average looking at best and think they are Fabio, Channing Tatum, Ricky Martin, or Ben Affleck and deserve only Heidi Klum-esque women. At the same time, I've seen women that are average looking at best and think they are Heidk Klum and think they deserve a Ben Affleck, Ricky Martin, Channing Tatum-esque in looks.

 

 

It's one thing to have confidence, but something else to be arrogant and demanding. I consider myself to be an average looking guy. Some think I'm good looking, some think I'm ugly, and some think I'm in between. Arrogance will get you laid when you're young, but nothing further than that.

[Feelin Frisky]

I don't get it. If they are not attractive- Maybe they are very overweight, very bald, have bad teeth, bad hygiene or maybe its not just about your looks but you have no job or a bad personality...what makes them think they can have what they want?

 

 

After reading some of the posts from men on here, I'm extremely curious what makes them think they could get someone with the standards they declare.

 

You all must be very intelligent, rich, and very handsome to have some of the qualities you ask for..

 

For some of the guys to say they only date "model looking chicks" or "hot slender chicks" I take it you fit that mold?

 

 

I'm afraid your screen name is pretty much apropos for this OP. Maybe some guys on this forum rate the ideals they envision, but all men who are heterosexual dig a beautiful woman whether they rate one or not. If some lie in their posts that they'll only accept a supermodel when in real life they are toads, why should it bother anyone else enough to assume them toads? Surely I haven't seen anyone post pictures of themselves or note on their profiles that they are fat, bald, toothless liars. So how do you know?

[meerkat stew]

women aren't particularly flattered by the thought that she attracts male interest solely because she appears adequate and willing to meet his sexual needs.

 

.

.

.

347. Treats me like a sex object when I doll up and want to be treated as such, and like an equal when his ESP or decoder ring tell him that's what I want.

348. Is easy to please when I want him to be and not such a pushover when I don't want him to be as his ESP or decoder ring tell him that's what I want.

.

.

452...

[bac]

I think it has a lot to do with confidence...these men feel good enough about themselves and think highly enough of themselves and their qualities that they believe they can have the "pick of the litter," as you say...and as you know, it only takes one...

 

Of course some of these men could just be completely full of sh*t...

 

In fact, I agree that it has a lot to do with confidence.

But, I can see that just opposite. Many very attractive men date and get married chicks who are not attractive, chubby and pretty fat. The men are confident about themselves, so, they do not need a hot woman to prove their manhood.

 

But, the men with low self-esteem, social anxiety, not the best looks are strongly drawn to the top quality chicks. They want to date or get married only very young and beautiful girls. It is their way to prove their manhhood and self-esteem.

[SteveC80]

In fact, I agree that it has a lot to do with confidence.

But, I can see that just opposite. Many very attractive men date and get married chicks who are not attractive, chubby and pretty fat. The men are confident about themselves, so, they do not need a hot woman to prove their manhood.

 

But, the men with low self-esteem, social anxiety, not the best looks are strongly drawn to the top quality chicks. They want to date or get married only very young and beautiful girls. It is their way to prove their manhhood and self-esteem.

 

Cant we say the same thing about women?

[SarahRose]

In fact, I agree that it has a lot to do with confidence.

But, I can see that just opposite. Many very attractive men date and get married chicks who are not attractive, chubby and pretty fat. The men are confident about themselves, so, they do not need a hot woman to prove their manhood.

 

But, the men with low self-esteem, social anxiety, not the best looks are strongly drawn to the top quality chicks. They want to date or get married only very young and beautiful girls. It is their way to prove their manhhood and self-esteem.

 

This

 

You read it in the desperate posts here by guys with very low self-esteem and insecure trying to get the hottest girl on their arm and then that proves they are somebody.

 

I was reading on a foreign forum the old guys going after the 20 year olds in asian countries saying they are kings over there because the local guys are losers. I was thinking yeah they are loser +1 on the scale which is not much to brag about.

[SarahRose]

Cant we say the same thing about women?

 

Sort of but usually with them it is about the huge wedding and huge diamond ring not so much the guy.

[SteveC80]

Somebody made a good point we talk about confidence as if its some magical word that will make ugly people be attratcive and its bs "Just have confidence" "its not about looks its about confidence"

 

Looks are a huge part of relatiosnhips,yes other things count also but i cant be with a person that i cant imagine ever even making out with nor cna most people im sorry

 

We sugar coat things for ugly people Man or women,if they come on here and complain we tell them love yourself be confident and people will automatically be attracted to you and its not true,some people just arent attractive to most of the oppsoite sex

 

Im not saying we should rip them and say their gonan die ugly and lonely what im saying is we should bea little more honest and tell them how hard its gonna be for them to attract somebody and it may never happen for them because of the cards they were dealt

[harmfulsweetz]

I'm a woman, and I'm shallow. I wouldn't date a guy if he was ugly. Sorry. I won't date a guy with missing teeth, balding, or anything either. I wouldn't tell them that, or anyone else that was the reason, but I'd be thinking it. Point is, we are all shallow. Man or woman. We all have our little ideals and our own standards/desires/desirables in our relationships/partners, and we all have the right to believe we deserve such. It's funny when you see guys 'fawn' over some hot chick they stand no chance with, I let them carry on their lives deluded.

 

I think men can be all talk, they can talk the talk with the guys, say they want this, they want that, but they'll go home at night, and know that that is an unrealistic aim. Heck, it's nice to dream. We all dream above our standards sometimes, nothing wrong with that.

 

Plus, confidence is good. It's good to believe you have something special that others don't that would make women/men gravitate towards you. I wish I could feel more like that. I've seen hot men go out with ugly/skanky women and heck, I was surprised, but looks is all perception. What one person thinks is ugly, another thinks is beautiful.

[SteveC80]

Sort of but usually with them it is about the huge wedding and huge diamond ring not so much the guy.

 

Isnt that all weddings for women:p

[meerkat stew]

But, I can see that just opposite. Many very attractive men date and get married chicks who are not attractive, chubby and pretty fat. The men are confident about themselves, so, they do not need a hot woman to prove their manhood.

 

Doesn't compute.

 

Confident people tend to know what they want and achieve it, so if a confident man is with an unattractive woman it's because a) there's something about her he likes that overrules her unattractiveness, or b) he prefers fat or ugly women for whatever reason, maybe because they are easier to dominate and won't give him the normal female drama.

 

Men don't select women based on "proving their manhood," that may be a reason why a young inexperienced man will sleep with an ugly or fat girl once, to get his number up, but not why a man chooses a woman for a relationship.

[TheLoneSock]

Men preffering beautiful women over unattractive women has nothing to do with low self esteem and everything to do with attraction, plain and simple. Beta males and scorned women who haven't garnered said beautiful looks can try and dilute that down to men being 'insecure' or 'compensating' for something all they like, but the shoe doesn't fit.

 

Men like attractive women because they are more pleasing than ugly or overweight women. Beautiful women turn us on, and subconsciously their genetics draw us to them. It has very little to do with status.

 

Case in point - when a man sees a gorgeous woman, the first thing he thinks about is what she looks like naked, not "Oh man, I can't wait to wear her on my arm and show her off to everyone like a piece of jewelry."

[Mad Max]

I'm a woman, and I'm shallow. I wouldn't date a guy if he was ugly. Sorry. I won't date a guy with missing teeth, balding, or anything either. I wouldn't tell them that, or anyone else that was the reason, but I'd be thinking it. Point is, we are all shallow. Man or woman. We all have our little ideals and our own standards/desires/desirables in our relationships/partners, and we all have the right to believe we deserve such. It's funny when you see guys 'fawn' over some hot chick they stand no chance with, I let them carry on their lives deluded.

 

I think men can be all talk, they can talk the talk with the guys, say they want this, they want that, but they'll go home at night, and know that that is an unrealistic aim. Heck, it's nice to dream. We all dream above our standards sometimes, nothing wrong with that.

 

Plus, confidence is good. It's good to believe you have something special that others don't that would make women/men gravitate towards you. I wish I could feel more like that. I've seen hot men go out with ugly/skanky women and heck, I was surprised, but looks is all perception. What one person thinks is ugly, another thinks is beautiful.

 

 

If an attractive man is with an average looking and/or overweight woman, does that make him shallow?

[SteveC80]

Men preffering beautiful women over unattractive women has nothing to do with low self esteem and everything to do with attraction, plain and simple. Beta males and scorned women who haven't garnered said beautiful looks can try and dilute that down to men being 'insecure' or 'compensating' for something all they like, but the shoe doesn't fit.

 

Men like attractive women because they are more pleasing than ugly or overweight women. Beautiful women turn us on, and subconsciously their genetics draw us to them. It has very little to do with status.

 

Case in point - when a man sees a gorgeous woman, the first thing he thinks about is what she looks like naked, not "Oh man, I can't wait to wear her on my arm and show her off to everyone like a piece of jewelry."

 

 

Thank you,these women are trying to pin the blame on Men being insecure and trying to show off as to why Men dont like them other then the truth which is some Men arent attracted to them

 

We like hot women because uhh their HOT not because we want to show anyone off stop overanalyzing

[Brady_to_Moss]

They have confidence and standards...are you kidding me OP?

[Brady_to_Moss]

 

I think men can be all talk, they can talk the talk with the guys, say they want this, they want that, but they'll go home at night, and know that that is an unrealistic aim.

 

And women do the exact same

[Feelin Frisky]

... Case in point - when a man sees a gorgeous woman, the first thing he thinks about is what she looks like naked,..."

 

Au contraire. I "feel" her presence and don't default to x-ray eyes or ex-ray mind. But maybe I'm the only man. I don't think of her as a trophy to show off either. It's just a whole change in chemistry to behold someone of the fairer gender in real life new to me. I tend to want to see who she is rather than what she might look like in the raw. But then again I kinda like stretch marks and imperfections.

[Mad Max]

Au contraire. I "feel" her presence and don't default to x-ray eyes or ex-ray mind. But maybe I'm the only man. I don't think of her as a trophy to show off either. It's just a whole change in chemistry to behold someone of the fairer gender in real life new to me. I tend to want to see who she is rather than what she might look like in the raw. But then again I kinda like stretch marks and imperfections.

 

 

Agreed. I work at a womens clothing store. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. There's two workers that are attractive, but have their b*tch shields up constantly and they're really not fun to be around. I'd date and bang the fat chick before I go anywhere near the two of them.

[callingyouuu]

Men preffering beautiful women over unattractive women has nothing to do with low self esteem and everything to do with attraction, plain and simple. Beta males and scorned women who haven't garnered said beautiful looks can try and dilute that down to men being 'insecure' or 'compensating' for something all they like, but the shoe doesn't fit.

 

Men like attractive women because they are more pleasing than ugly or overweight women. Beautiful women turn us on, and subconsciously their genetics draw us to them. It has very little to do with status.

 

I don't think anyone is arguing against the fact that men like attractive women. Even so, while they still prefer and jack off to perfect 10s, I don't think that many "average" people are reckless and ignorant enough to truly believe outside of their sexual fantasies that a woman with options is going to pick a less attractive person like themselves over someone more on her level. Hence, their outward "high standard" facade hides an inward insecurity. Pretty much textbook.

 

Same applies for women, just so you all don't think I'm singling out men here.

[TheLoneSock]

Au contraire. I "feel" her presence and don't default to x-ray eyes or ex-ray mind. But maybe I'm the only man. I don't think of her as a trophy to show off either. It's just a whole change in chemistry to behold someone of the fairer gender in real life new to me. I tend to want to see who she is rather than what she might look like in the raw. But then again I kinda like stretch marks and imperfections.

 

Lies. All lies.

 

I work at a womens clothing store. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. There's two workers that are attractive, but have their b*tch shields up constantly and they're really not fun to be around.

 

You already know these women, and know that they are bitches. That's why I said when you first see a beautiful woman. So basically you missed my entire point.