jamesum Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Very true. Men are this way because they are competitive. They have to have a pretty girlfriend and a decent car to keep up with the others. I listen to my male friends sometimes compering notes and I feel sorry for them. It is a fact that most men consciously or unconsciously still see women as possessions. But then again, many if not most women themselves seem to enjoy being treated and valued like possessions or prizes. So cant really blame one gender more than the other in this case.
a_woman Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 It is a fact that most men consciously or unconsciously still see women as possessions. But then again, many if not most women themselves seem to enjoy being treated and valued like possessions or prizes. So cant really blame one gender more than the other in this case. Oh I'm not blaming, what I feel is compassion. Women rarely need to face such aggressive competition. The reason why so many men have issues with things like height or penis size is because they get teased constantly by other males.
jamesum Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Oh I'm not blaming, what I feel is compassion. Women rarely need to face such aggressive competition. The reason why so many men have issues with things like height or penis size is because they get teased constantly by other males. Women also compete with each other for male attention ... Thus why at least here in SoCal some women even look like they are going clubbing when they are just going to a grocery store. I feel sorry for them as well. It must be tough to live constantly feeling like you have to be the prettiest girl at all times.
zengirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 (edited) It's just preference. Everybody shoots high but alot of people miss and end up settling anyways. I prefer beautiful women who're in shape. Am I attractive and in shape? In shape yes, attractive - depends on who's looking at me. I find the whole "I shoot high, but I'll settle" attitude quite icky. Are there really high numbers of people that do this? In my experience it is MOSTLY a man thing. I hear it at work and read about it here. Mad? No. Just find it nervy that some guys think they have a right to demand such things. I think men and women do it. I do think men tend to do it with looks more and women tend to do it with success/jobs/money more. (There are a multitude of exceptions to this. And both do it with both plenty of the time.) I think leagues are crap anyhow, but I know women who can barely hold down a job who wouldn't date a fellow who didn't have a pretty good living. I've met (but am not friends with) women who wouldn't date a guy who didn't own a house. They, themselves, did not own a house or have anywhere near the security to do so. When I went back to graduate school and had hardly any money, no career to speak of for a time, and lived in a super-cheap house my friend owned, I never worried about its impact on my date-ability. A man might have to! We just have to worry about different shallow, silly things. I'm not saying some women aren't picky about male looks and some men aren't picky about gal's finances/education/careers, because I've seen both. And plenty of people who are needlessly picky about everything, even stupid things like the brand of make-up they wear or the place they grew up in. Of course, people who shoot for the Moon in everything while not doing any work on themselves are just plain lame. As are people with no standards. The best standards evolve from who we are and what we need, as individuals. Edited August 11, 2010 by zengirl
Eeyore79 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 That's fine. Doesn't mean you're right, tho. I've seen women who were jobless, and average, demand that a guy have a car just to hang with them. It's not a one-sided thing. Women want men who are successful. She doesn't care so much if he's hot, she just cares if he has a car. Men want women who are hot. He doesn't care if she has a car, he just wants her to be sexy.
MrNate Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 The women are lashing out? What a breath of fresh air, haha. But these generalizations are quite silly. Now I see what the women of LS go through. You rarely see men on the defensive around here. This is interesting. But yes women are just as shallow as men. Maybe not in terms of looks, but definitely in other factors previous posters have mentioned. So I really harbor zero sympathy.
mr.dream merchant Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I find the whole "I shoot high, but I'll settle" attitude quite icky. Are there really high numbers of people that do this? I do believe a majority of younger women do settle when it comes to physical attractiveness. Of the women who make passes at me or signal their interest via eye contact, forced conversation, frequent light physical contact, it'd be the women who are in a monogamous relationship. Fellas, when they tell you it's not about looks - don't believe it.
zengirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I do believe a majority of younger women do settle when it comes to physical attractiveness. Of the women who make passes at me or signal their interest via eye contact, forced conversation, frequent light physical contact, it'd be the women who are in a monogamous relationship. Fellas, when they tell you it's not about looks - don't believe it. I only date people I like the looks of. That said, I don't care what anybody else thinks of their looks. I don't know if they were all considered uber-attractive to anybody else, but I think most of my exes are fairly attractive. (I don't tend to like gymrats and never dated a fellow with abs. . . but I find them unattractive. I have dated a fellow who taught yoga as a side job, and he was in excellent shape. . . and I found that quite attractive.) I've usually been told by my friends that my fellows were sexy and I was a lucky girl, but it wouldn't bother me if they didn't think so. That said, I think it would be gross to sleep with a fellow whose clothes I didn't want to rip off. I'd rather be single, though I rarely have been for long. Who is anyone to judge if anyone else is settling? It's not like anyone else knows what someone is physically attracted to! The whole "I have this list, and I must check off each column, and if I don't, I've settled" mindset turns me off. I've never settled. Every relationship I've been in was one I really wanted to be in at the time; some I'd repeat, and some I wouldn't. I don't settle or use a list. I just date the fellows I like who like me back.
mr.dream merchant Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I only date people I like the looks of. That said, I don't care what anybody else thinks of their looks. I don't know if they were all considered uber-attractive to anybody else, but I think most of my exes are fairly attractive. (I don't tend to like gymrats and never dated a fellow with abs. . . but I find them unattractive. I have dated a fellow who taught yoga as a side job, and he was in excellent shape. . . and I found that quite attractive.) I've usually been told by my friends that my fellows were sexy and I was a lucky girl, but it wouldn't bother me if they didn't think so. That said, I think it would be gross to sleep with a fellow whose clothes I didn't want to rip off. I'd rather be single, though I rarely have been for long. Who is anyone to judge if anyone else is settling? It's not like anyone else knows what someone is physically attracted to! The whole "I have this list, and I must check off each column, and if I don't, I've settled" mindset turns me off. I've never settled. Every relationship I've been in was one I really wanted to be in at the time; some I'd repeat, and some I wouldn't. I don't settle or use a list. I just date the fellows I like who like me back. Gymrats?! Ouch! Lol, but yeah you're right. No one is to say who's settled or not. Figured if somebody is in a relationship, but looking for things outside of that relationship, either they've settled or the relationship is on its way to the grave.
SteveC80 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 lol at women not being shallow as a guy whos had a pretty big amount of sucess with women ive seen first hand how shallow women are and how some average or ugly women think they desrve the top of the social food chain if you are extremely good looking u can pretty much get away with anything as a Man or Women I find its usually the undesirable Men and Women who lash out like this at the unfair rules or standards each sex has and call them shallow All people want the highly desirable Men and Women and when some realize they dont have what it takes to get them they get angry and lash out because they realize the people on their level or in their league they are not all that attracted to
dispatch3d Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 lol this thread is awesommme. haha the guy not having a house or car thing is really funny. I hope girls don't date me for that reason, because I wouldn't want to date them (not kidding). Even tho I have a car, would definitely lie if I knew they'd screen me on that of all things. The nerve of unattractive people thinking they should have an equal chance with everyone even the hottest people. Man that is irritating. They should just realize they are 2nd or 3rd class citizens and just crawl back into their hole with other unattractive females. ... and you women would rather date a guy who has no standards and is non-judgemental than a guy you actually have to work for?
zengirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 lol this thread is awesommme. haha the guy not having a house or car thing is really funny. I hope girls don't date me for that reason, because I wouldn't want to date them (not kidding). Even tho I have a car, would definitely lie if I knew they'd screen me on that of all things. Eh, the car thing I get, IF it is for actual logistical reasons (i.e. I grew up in a city where if you didn't have a car, you weren't going anywhere, so dating would be difficult; there was no public transportation to speak of). I've never not had a car, but I imagine if I didn't, I'd be less dateable, even as a woman, in some places. It'd just become a hassle! Who wants to pick someone up every single time, unless you happen to live ridiculously close? Now, what kind of car. . . that's silly. I like the kinds that run.
dispatch3d Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Eh, the car thing I get, IF it is for actual logistical reasons (i.e. I grew up in a city where if you didn't have a car, you weren't going anywhere, so dating would be difficult; there was no public transportation to speak of). I've never not had a car, but I imagine if I didn't, I'd be less dateable, even as a woman, in some places. It'd just become a hassle! Who wants to pick someone up every single time, unless you happen to live ridiculously close? Now, what kind of car. . . that's silly. I like the kinds that run. humm good point. Not like actually liking the guy/girl is more important than how easy it is to see them. I think I'd take a girl I really like whose difficult to see (but still possible to see), than someone who is readily available and I only like a medium amount. Thus me thinking its a stupid reason to screen.
AD1980 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Women are worse, most women fight over the same small group of guys.. The idea women arent shallow is hillarious,ive had homely women get angry for me even approaching them.. Men hit on anything that moves especially with alcohol so average/unatractive women have more of an inflated sense of worth then ugly or average dudes who never get approached and get rejected often
You Go Girl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 If I reject a man, it's not because he wasn't hit by the beauty fairy's wand. It's because he neglects the good body he was given, or has addictions, or his intelligence level doesn't match his face. What he makes a year? I could care less, as long as he isn't asking me for loans.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Women are worse, most women fight over the same small group of guys.. The idea women arent shallow is hillarious,ive had homely women get angry for me even approaching them.. Men hit on anything that moves especially with alcohol so average/unatractive women have more of an inflated sense of worth then ugly or average dudes who never get approached and get rejected often Women don't usually approach men in general with one of the exceptions being me. Men never asked me out and I got tired of waiting around very quickly. Also, I love how people assume that all women get asked out millions of times. Men go for the same small group of women as well. Yes, there are some average looking or unattractive women in that group, but it doesn't change anything. I think those women just seem the most interesting and approachable or something. Anyway, I already know what the response to this is going to be,"You don't get asked out all the time, you must be really ugly!" Because that's what it was last time and I predicted it would be then as well. XD It's weird that men on here insist on saying that to me, especially since, when they have bad luck with women and make posts like the one I just quoted about being rejected a bunch of times, I never say it's because they are ugly . . . . I just thought I'd type all this and save some people some time. If all women are asked out, ugly included, then regardless of whether I am ugly or not, then I should be the same way. =/
Rhythmic Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Because all guys hear from women is them saying looks don't matter to them and personality and confidence does and its us shallow pig males that only care about looks remember? How is it surprising then that ugly guys who feel confident and think they got a good personality are trying to go after hot women?
Enchanted Girl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Because all guys hear from women is them saying looks don't matter to them and personality and confidence does and its us shallow pig males that only care about looks remember? How is it surprising then that ugly guys who feel confident and think they got a good personality are trying to go after hot women? I don't think that's how it works. Most people, when they are accused of doing something bad, they argue with it, not try to live up to that bad accusation. That's illogical.
TheLoneSock Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I don't get it. If they are not attractive- Maybe they are very overweight, very bald, have bad teeth, bad hygiene or maybe its not just about your looks but you have no job or a bad personality...what makes them think they can have what they want? The same thing that makes a jobless, car-less, single mom with no education not want to settle for some average Joe (because she deserves so much more, right?). Delusional overconfidence. There are men and women like this everywhere. In my experience I have noticed it more in women, simply because I don't observe men nearly as much as I observe women in my every day life. It goes both ways.
Ilovecake Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I don't get it. If they are not attractive- Maybe they are very overweight, very bald, have bad teeth, bad hygiene or maybe its not just about your looks but you have no job or a bad personality...what makes them think they can have what they want? After reading some of the posts from men on here, I'm extremely curious what makes them think they could get someone with the standards they declare. You all must be very intelligent, rich, and very handsome to have some of the qualities you ask for.. For some of the guys to say they only date "model looking chicks" or "hot slender chicks" I take it you fit that mold? Believe me they would not be on this site if they were actually getting any of those things. Some people just have unrealistically high opinions of themselves.
meerkat stew Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Women are worse, most women fight over the same small group of guys.. Bingo, we have a winner. Most women chase the same 10% of guys most of their lives. Most men chase the same 70% of women most of their lives. So who insists on the "pick of the litter" again? List of average male criteria for a partner 1. Good looking enough 2. Will sleep with him List of average female criteria for a partner 1. Tall 2. Handsome 3. Rich . . . 47. leaves the seat down 48. her cat likes him . . . 132. will wear her favorite color (fuschia) on occasion 133. doesn't have a beer sign anywhere in his house . . . 385...
Mr White Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Youöre reading too much into this. I havent seen many men of mature age to actually buy into the supermodel thing. Its just that no matter how happy you are with your wonderful girlfriend, the sight of a pair of great legs on the street can make you question your entire life (for a few microseconds); you mull over for a microsecond then you move on with your life. Thats pretty much it.
TheLoneSock Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Its just that no matter how happy you are with your wonderful girlfriend, the sight of a pair of great legs on the street can make you question your entire life (for a few microseconds) Lol!
SteveC80 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Bingo, we have a winner. Most women chase the same 10% of guys most of their lives. Most men chase the same 70% of women most of their lives. So who insists on the "pick of the litter" again? List of average male criteria for a partner 1. Good looking enough 2. Will sleep with him List of average female criteria for a partner 1. Tall 2. Handsome 3. Rich . . . 47. leaves the seat down 48. her cat likes him . . . 132. will wear her favorite color (fuschia) on occasion 133. doesn't have a beer sign anywhere in his house . . . 385... Yup women put looks just a high on the list as Men and look for things like money status and power so id say they are more shallow or picky Women will only bend when they reach their 30's and the bioligcal clock is ticking and the younger women are making them less relevant,they then "settle" for a guy who in their 20's they would have ignored and was closer to them on the social food chain then they wanted to believe
Knittress Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 List of average male criteria for a partner 1. Good looking enough 2. Will sleep with him I'm surprised that you'd list this in the context of 'a good thing.' Men are what they are (and more), and I'm not judging - but women aren't particularly flattered by the thought that she attracts male interest solely because she appears adequate and willing to meet his sexual needs. (I'm not saying this shouldn't be a factor, but we'd like the list to be a LITTLE longer, I'd think)
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