carhill Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 OP, you're young and energetic so I can understand your perspective. I was exactly like that at your age. I always thought, if I kept trying, I'd succeed. Looking back, realistically, every one of those dynamics resulted in my moving on. What I was doing incorrectly was seeing only my interest and not paying enough attention to theirs. I was busy, but I had time to ask them out and go on dates. The disconnect was I wasn't getting that, if they were interested in me, they would too. Wasted a lot of time, energy and emotion learning that lesson. Hope you do better. Ask other ladies out on dates. Each one gets two chances to say yes. That's all. Busy lives are accepted but not a 'reason' for anything.
zengirl Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 I wouldn't spend too much energy on her. Her attitude when she sees you is likely truer than the texts she sent after. Some girls do this when they feel bad or maybe don't want to lose the attention. It's a weird thing I don't understand. But it happens.
Green Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 OP I think you did a great thing for yourself when you told yourself you were a good guy. You should be proud of how you went for this girl. You have no idea the number of times I've been rejected in my life. From my point of view you have a 50/50 shot with this girl. She obviously likes you enough to txt you back and give you hope... but on the other hand she is being stand offish because of how busy her life is. I've worked long hours before and if you want to have fun YOU MAKE TIME. Its just scary to make time with some one new so you have to come up with something fun and relaxing... you have to pick her up at her place so she doesn't have to drive... so she doesn't have to think. When you ask her out make it seem relaxing... like say "you won't have to think or do anything just have FUN" "I'll pick you up and drop you back off" "We'll just go out for a relaxing dinner and have a few drinks" Most importantly you need to be romancing more then one girl at a time. If you had 3 girls you were trying with you would do BETTER with all 3 because you wouldn't be so focused on one. You would also be bolder because you wouldn't care so much about losing one. When things get seriouse like you want to make her your gf then you narrow it down to one... and that comes naturaly. I think you're doing great, you are one of the only posters on here who comes on and actualy goes through with what you wanted to. You don't lie to yourself you just do it. And thats great, I really think you might get this girl... its just hard to know... she's not your avg girl with the amount of mixed signals she sends. Really though over the phone she might have not realized who you were even after you explained... and then at work she can only be so friendly... plus girls are scared of guys, even the ones they like cause they know they could get hurt if they open up.
Author DigDug Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 Carhill and zengirl your right, I’m done chasing this girl. I’ve made my intentions very clear to this girl and I’m not getting a whole lot of feedback from her. Its her turn now to get this ball rolling if she chooses to do so. But could it be true that she really is that busy and all this work she supposedly does is keeping her from being interested in dating a guy like me? I think its possible. Whether it truly is or not is something I don’t think or care enough to know anymore. I agree with Green that she should be able to make time. What I am getting at is that she could be a fun little project for me. Maybe if I keep chipping away at this little by little, I’ll eventually reach gold. All while chasing other girls if there were any to chase. Just as long as I don’t stress myself out thinking about it everything will be fine. But this situation was a new experience for me and I appreciate everyones thoughts and advice. This forum and everyone’s input has done wonders on defragmenting my mind. This has helped me think clearer and in the end, helped me to make a more intelligent decision that I can look back on and use in future situations.
Green Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Carhill and zengirl your right, I’m done chasing this girl. I’ve made my intentions very clear to this girl and I’m not getting a whole lot of feedback from her. Its her turn now to get this ball rolling if she chooses to do so. But could it be true that she really is that busy and all this work she supposedly does is keeping her from being interested in dating a guy like me? I think its possible. Whether it truly is or not is something I don’t think or care enough to know anymore. I agree with Green that she should be able to make time. What I am getting at is that she could be a fun little project for me. Maybe if I keep chipping away at this little by little, I’ll eventually reach gold. All while chasing other girls if there were any to chase. Just as long as I don’t stress myself out thinking about it everything will be fine. But this situation was a new experience for me and I appreciate everyones thoughts and advice. This forum and everyone’s input has done wonders on defragmenting my mind. This has helped me think clearer and in the end, helped me to make a more intelligent decision that I can look back on and use in future situations. I would keep her in my phone and randomly send her lame txts just for the fun of seeing if she responds "Lunch tomorrow!" But yes if you boldy ask more girls out like you did in this story you will find a nice girl verry soon. I got rejected by many girls every time I was inbetween gf's its just how life is. Hope you had as much fun chasing this girl as we had listening to you talk about it.
carhill Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 All good except for the gold part. There is no gold. Just a regular, flawed human being like the one you see in the mirror every day. Learn to love that one first and all the others will fall into line.
mr.dream merchant Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Carhill and zengirl your right, I’m done chasing this girl. I’ve made my intentions very clear to this girl and I’m not getting a whole lot of feedback from her. Its her turn now to get this ball rolling if she chooses to do so. But could it be true that she really is that busy and all this work she supposedly does is keeping her from being interested in dating a guy like me? I think its possible. Whether it truly is or not is something I don’t think or care enough to know anymore. I agree with Green that she should be able to make time. What I am getting at is that she could be a fun little project for me. Maybe if I keep chipping away at this little by little, I’ll eventually reach gold. All while chasing other girls if there were any to chase. Just as long as I don’t stress myself out thinking about it everything will be fine. But this situation was a new experience for me and I appreciate everyones thoughts and advice. This forum and everyone’s input has done wonders on defragmenting my mind. This has helped me think clearer and in the end, helped me to make a more intelligent decision that I can look back on and use in future situations. I've been in a similar situation with a girl that I actually turned down as a GF in the recent past. I decided to reconnect with her, and everything seemed alright but now she's basically doing to me what this girl is doing to you. The way I look at it is, unless she has Alzheimer's..she knows that you're interested. If you've left the ball in their court on multiple occasions, and they fail to dribble - take that bitch out of the game. I did. I deleted her number just so I don't have to waste space on my phone for a chick who's just going to string me along. Point is - you left the ball in her court. Keep it that way. If you keep chasing someone who isn't really returning anything back, that's just going to take from your energy, possibly your pride, and maybe even your sanity while this girl is going to reap all the benefits of being wanted, and an ego boost. So cut contact, delete her number if you have to. You've already shown her what she needs to know, it's time to have some dignity and move on to other more responsive women.
dispatch3d Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Carhill and zengirl your right, I’m done chasing this girl. I’ve made my intentions very clear to this girl and I’m not getting a whole lot of feedback from her. Its her turn now to get this ball rolling if she chooses to do so. But could it be true that she really is that busy and all this work she supposedly does is keeping her from being interested in dating a guy like me? I think its possible. Whether it truly is or not is something I don’t think or care enough to know anymore. I agree with Green that she should be able to make time. What I am getting at is that she could be a fun little project for me. Maybe if I keep chipping away at this little by little, I’ll eventually reach gold. All while chasing other girls if there were any to chase. Just as long as I don’t stress myself out thinking about it everything will be fine. But this situation was a new experience for me and I appreciate everyones thoughts and advice. This forum and everyone’s input has done wonders on defragmenting my mind. This has helped me think clearer and in the end, helped me to make a more intelligent decision that I can look back on and use in future situations. I don't see this as a rejection at all. Honestly you learned some **** here. Whether I continued to ask her out would depend entirely on whether I thought it was worthwhile to chase her or any other girl. If I thought for a second I had to "recover" from somethign I would definitely hit on a new one where I can start off neutral. From your tone I can tell you care way too much if she's into you. Maybe you'll date her - if she's cool. You really barely knew her at all she could likely be quite lame. Just from the mindset of going there "hoping she talks to you, hoping she comes to the front so you can talk to her, the percentages are rolling back, blablabla". Wrong ****ing mindset, her percentages are rolling back with her chances at dating YOU. I definitely agree with green, the best part of the whole experience is when you realized SHE was the one missing out, not yourself. It's all just a ****ing game man. You do this that and the other thing, see what of these three things works and keep doing those. Throw at the rest, and honestly who gives a **** about the particular girl you are working on.
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