aeion Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 I havent seen or spoke to my ex in over a week now. Im seriously struggling, i have no intentions of getting back with her but now im...idk feeling so lost and raw. I found out that she created an entirely different FB inviting everyone but me. She ended it and it kind of went without saying to go NC (my other post explains the events). I tried to be as chill with this as possible. Im so new to the relationship game, that this pain seems so endless. Thank the stars for this site, i could really use support of ppl that are in the same boat as me.
TheMB Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I know the feeling completely. Its been over two months since my ex broke up with me, and I still have that lost feeling. I still have days when I feel like I could cry at any moment, and I still miss her terribly. Keep doing what you're doing--stick with the NC. I didn't, and I think that that made the whole experience much worse for me. I can also relate to what you said about your ex starting a new fb page and inviting everyone but you. A few of my friends moved recently (I will also be moving very shortly). My ex befriended some of those people and then would organize going away parties for them and not invite me! Its hard and it hurts. Stick with the NC, learn from my mistakes, and I think it will start getting easier for you.
Author aeion Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 thanks for your reply it helps knowing that this is such a common thing (that also makes it worse in a way). I guess im just hurting because it really feels like you arent good enough for ANYTHING. i know i just have to overcome that feeling on a day by day basis... but jeez, any tips? going out with friends helps but when i get home and alone again, i start to let my mind wander, which never ends well.
skydiveaddict Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 exercise is essential. Keep close to your friends as you are doing. Really you just have to hang tough and gut it out
Username37 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I havent seen or spoke to my ex in over a week now. Im seriously struggling, i have no intentions of getting back with her but now im...idk feeling so lost and raw. I found out that she created an entirely different FB inviting everyone but me. She ended it and it kind of went without saying to go NC (my other post explains the events). I tried to be as chill with this as possible. Im so new to the relationship game, that this pain seems so endless. Thank the stars for this site, i could really use support of ppl that are in the same boat as me. NC isn't easy. At first I felt strong and great but now I'm falling apart. It's painful but it's the way to go, especially if they have no feelings for you and you're still madly in love with them. I haven't spoken to my ex in 2 months (I think, I lost count) even though she broke NC 4 times. And she even restricted me on FB (I'm still her friend, I just can't see statuses, wall post, friends added, albums, etc.) so The pain does seem so endless. I'm still in pain as well. I just hope we both can recover and move on. Good luck to you
Author aeion Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 worst part is, i decided to take her back before she met someone else. I'm pissed because we really could have ended up friends after all this (at least i was ready to at that point) but as soon as i got back from a two week trip away she started crying and saying she missed me and all that BS. But she dumped me two weeks after begging me to take her back... i feel like a parachute that helped her fall to the next guy. i mean, wow, misfire....
Jamie_w Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 If you are doing NC you have to remember its for a bunch of reasons. Its to help YOU through the whole thing which is what you need to worry about. I broke up with someone after 4 yrs about a week ago and the first thing i was ACCEPT it was over. Im doing NC etc and who knows what will happen in the future but i am no different from anyone else. Whether it is now or in 12 months time you will come to accept it, and once you do have you have a massive weight lifted off your shoulders, and you start moving on. And the Irony is, as soon as you do this, they become more attracted to you. The reason exes pull away is because exes turn to an angry emotional mess and push them away. Stick with NC and get used to the pain. Feel that pain in your stomach? You DONT have to accept it. It will be there for a while so get used to how it feels, accept that it exhists and turn your mind to the fact that the answer may not be getting an ex back, but making yourself strong again Good luck
Jamie_w Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 And when i say broke up, i was the one dumped lol.
exclusive. Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I know exactly how you feel, my ex dumped me and as soon as I told her I wanted to go NC after 2 months of trying to get her back/trying to be friends. As soon as she accepted I was going away, she deleted me off FB, blocked me, deleted me from any instant messengers we used for long distance. In my opinion, I find it weird - usually a dumper accepts the break up before they do it but their behaviour entails some odd reasoning. Nevertheless, more reason to keep up NC buddy... they are obviously messed up in the head, and thats not what you need when your trying to keep your head clear. Im writing my day to day feelings whilst I go through NC, its in a post further down. Feel free to drop by and write with me if it helps.
Author aeion Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 i hear you and thats what im trying to do. Started working out harder than ever and im going to the mall to get some new gear... ive pledged to make myself into exactly the person i would want to be (for me of course).
Author aeion Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 and to exclusive, thx i feel like im going to be coming here for awhile so its nice to read other stories and perspectives
whatadeer26 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 It's a long process man. Stick to it and it will help you heal. Out of sight out of mind. She was my first love, but she won't be my last. Go live life because I know for damn sure my ex is. This site likes to F with me because my ex is in Las Vegas at the new planet hollywood and I constantly keep seeing that ad on some of these pages.
Author aeion Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 i just feel so... infiltrated you know? the fact there is someone out there who doesnt really care about me that knows almost every little detail about my life is really unsettling. I guess i just gotta be more careful in the future.
mmk1 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Unfortunately, what everyone describes is just life, people change. Your ex did and now its your turn. Concentrate on you and do what you need to do for yourself. To heck with what your ex is doing! Its no longer your concern and your ex has no right to know what your doing. An alternative to defriending your ex or, even worse, being defriended by your ex, is just to deactivate your FB account during NC. This helps you concentrate on you and when your ready, reactivate and delete your ex. You'll feel great! Its tough to do, but good luck with NC!
D-Lish Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 NC will help you heal. It's not about her at this point, only about you. What you don't know won't hurt you. I've never gotten people that obsessively check an ex's FB, I am of the mind that someone can't continue to hurt me or have power over me if I don't know what they are doing. The first couple months of NC are super hard, but the alternative is harder. Once you get through a couple of months, the pain gets less and less. Sometimes people forget that in order to heal, you have to participate in your healing process, you have to stay away from the ex, make the effort to make positive changes, and make a concerted effort to move forward. Sometimes that means dragging your azz out of bed and being social when you don't feel like it, sometimes it will entail making tough decisions. Expecting that you can ever remain friends with a person that you are head over heels in love with isn't realistic, and it's not logical- It will never be beneficial to your healing process. Yep, the first couple months is going to be difficult, but I promise you, if you stick to the NC, healing will happen faster than remaining in contact with the other person.
Author aeion Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 today was a lil easier but now im lying bed and she's starting to assault my mind... so im on here... oi, this sux
Username37 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 today was a lil easier but now im lying bed and she's starting to assault my mind... so im on here... oi, this sux NC for 2 months. She still assaults my mind. When you feel this way, continue coming here. We're all ears...or should we say..eyes Bad Joke is bad haha
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