TheMB Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Hey Everyone: I'm new to the forum, and I wish I found this site about 2.5 months ago. At that time, my gf and I broke up somewhat unexpectedly (we had an argument--i picked a fight and acted like an ass). Prior to that, we had serious plans to move away together, get married, live happily ever after, etc... Right after the break, I tried desperately to get her back. I apologized, I promised to change, I sent flowers, and so forth. At first, it was just "a break". To make a long story short, that break eventually turned into a break-up, and I have made a complete ass of myself ever since. I couldn't understand where this all came from or why it would be so easy for her to throw everything away and not even give us a second chance. Of course, I never really figured that out, my despair and sadness increased, and despite going NC for a few days here and there, I could never really keep it going for longer than a week. This past Friday, I ran into and she pretended not to know me--it really hurt. Anyway, that evening I sent her a lovey-dovey (pathetic) text and then called and left a message a few hours later whining about the fact that I am moving from where we live (she knows about it) and how probably won't say good-bye or even acknowledge that I am leaving. Thanks to that brilliant message, I am supposed to meet up with her tomorrow to get the last of my things and to "say good-bye". I know that she doesn't want to see me, and I know that she doesn't want to communicate with me. She has pretty much ignored me over the past month and a half and pretends not to know me when she does see me. Its as if she is trying to pretend I don't even exist. Seeing her tomorrow will probably just screw with my head, but, at the same time, I would like to see her. Should I just scrap the whole thing and figure out a way to get my stuff without seeing her? Or, if I do see her, how should I act? I'm afraid I will make a fool of myself, tell her I love her, start crying, etc. I am moving on Saturday and she is actually moving to South America about two weeks after that, so I think NC will get easier, but I've been so awful at it to this point that I could use some advice from those of you who seem to have mastered it. Thanks for reading this, and thanks for your advice. I appreciate it.
lalalandman Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 You won't follow this advice, but when you go to get your things, don't say a word. Keep your mouth shut. Don't even say hi. If she asks questions, don't answer them. Just get your things and be gone. After that, go strictly NC. Trust me. If she comes back, she'll do it on her own. But don't be fooled by her. Don't pick up her calls. Don't respond to texts. Anything short of "I want to meet up to talk" should be ignored. If nothing, then you probably dodged a bullet. Good luck.
Don Ho Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 "Should I just scrap the whole thing and figure out a way to get my stuff without seeing her" YES!!! Bro, I understand that you're hurt and devastated. NC in not easy. But it does get easier. No, you SHOULD NOT see her tomorrow. Just send a simple text in the a.m. that says "Hey something came up and I can't meet up with you, I'll be in touch". Whatever she responds with you DO NOT respond.
aeion Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Yeah man, Just try and do what i do and remember the good times you had w/o her. Picture yourself before you met her and remember how fine you were with life. I feel like once you (and I) start to become able to just work on ourselves starting from that point, things will get better and someone even more awesome will come along. Difference is, this time we'll be armed with the knowledge of the lessons learned from the last relationship
Author TheMB Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 Well, I didn't follow the advice of Don Ho or lalaland man. I just met up with the ex to get the last of my stuff. I didn't break down, I didn't beg, and I almost totally avoided embarrassing myself. I did, however, subject myself to being told off and yelled at. I kept my composure, listened to it for probably too long, tried to offer a mild explanation for what she was yelling at me for, and eventually I said, "good luck". She then turned to walk away and i said "don't worry, you'll never hear from me again". I am going to say it here, because I feel like i need to get it off my chest: she is a cold, self-absorbed, angry, f******* bitch. She has got her own issues, but she's way too busy trying to point out my supposed issues to notice. I can't believe I have been pining over her for all this time. Yet, even despite all of that, I had the urge (which I didn't act on) to send her a text after our meeting to say something like, "you can hate me, and you can make me out to be a terrible person, but I wish you well nonetheless". Just writing it out here makes me realize how stupid that would be. I'm better off without her--I know that. I just have to remind myself of it everyday and remind myself every day was a cold bitch she is.
Don Ho Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Good job bro. See what can happen when you meet them? I doubt I would have ever given her the opportunity to do that. No matter, you handled it well. HA! See now you think she's a F'in biatch! Perfect! Keep THAT in your head and focus on that when you have a weak moment. DO NOT contact her in anyway.
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