Jump to content

Theres been some developments

archivist

By archivist
in Second Chances

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

archivist Member

archivist

Posted
Posted (edited)

Guys I need some advice, If you want to follow my story you can check my previous posts - I'm going to try keep it short here.

 

My ex and I have been detached for 2.5 months now, both her and I have been in NC for almost all of that time.

 

In my previous post she had bought concert tickets for me in January, well the concert is next month. Yesterday she broke NC to remind me that the tickets were coming soon and that she still wants me to have them. We exchanged 3 texts (i didn't respond till the next morning). I just kept is cordial and brief. She is going to come to mine to hand them over and collect some mail which still comes here.

 

Now without her actually talking to me i've found out that she:

1. Misses me despite using NC as a test to see if she can be without me

2. Has not ruled out getting back together

3. She wants to come to the concert with me but doesn't know how to ask

 

So what do I do?

 

I won't lie, I miss her very much and would love to work things out. But the rational side of me is unsure, unless things change we'll end up here again. She basically walked out on me twice (first time we never broke up but she moved out).

 

I have been improving myself, regained my social life, taking part in activities/sports, reconnecting with friends. I've read books on how to improve myself. I realise that my communication was not always good and that I need to identify and connect with her emotional needs more. But I have no idea if she has been doing any self reflection.

 

I want to meet with her to exchange the tickets and mail and catch up, test the waters. If things seem good maybe I will ask her to come with me to the concert. But if we are to go any further we really need to sit down and talk it out.

 

If things don't work out I'm ready to just step back and go back to NC for as long as necessary till I'm over all of this.

 

I'd really appreciate some advice. Thanks

Edited by archivist
whatadeer26 Established Member

whatadeer26

Posted
Posted

I wouldn't ask her to come with you to the concert based on how she acts when you meet up. I believe you should wait to see how she act over the few days after.

 

She is going to be nice to you when you are together. After a few days if you feel that way and you're having solid conversation. I would ask if she'd like to join.

  • Author
archivist Member

archivist

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thats a good idea, I didn't think of that, of course its better to see how things are after a few days. The thing is, I'm so used to not talking to her now with NC. I don't know how we will begin to open the channels of communication again. Also I will always have my guard up as I don't want to set myself up for more hurt or disappointment. This is going to take some work and time.

HopeLove Established Member

HopeLove

Posted
Posted

I didn't read your previous posts but I think if you really love her don't waste any opportunity. The moment she will give you the tickets tell her you would love her to come with you but you will understand if she prefers not to go. Take things easy. This is a female point of view.

  • Author
archivist Member

archivist

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Thanks for the input HL, I don't know if I can make that decision to ask her right away because she hasn't open told me how she is feeling. It could just be a phase and she could get over it after a week. I don't want to rush into anything and to be honest If we are going to try again there needs to be a lot of open honest communication between the two of us. We are just not at that stage yet.

 

So I've arranged to meet with my ex on Sunday. I will pass on her letters and ask to have a chat over coffee. I'll see how things go, I go there with my guard up and no expectations. If I decide that I would actually enjoy having her as company then I will ask her to come with me.

 

I think for now just knowing (even if it is second info) that she still misses me and cares makes me feel a lot better and no longer rejected. I don't want to make any rash decisions and jump back into a relationship with her right away, but i'm getting ahead of myself.

 

I think i've got to the stage now that whatever happens after that meeting I can accept any outcome and not hold onto false hope or resentment.

Edited by archivist
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...