EmptyPromises Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 My ex and I were together for 2 and half years. We broke up in June and didn’t see eachother for 2 months. I started to move on, was very happy with my life & even found a very nice guy. Life was great. Of course my ex started calling me, begging me back. He told me he could make me happy and would never hurt me again. I let him beg for a week and them met up with him. We got drunk together, wound up having sex. The next day we went on a boat with his friends and wound up having sex that night as well. At one point he opened his phone and there was a text from a girl named jess(who he had sex with last summer) saying nice seeing you today! (Sarcastic Im guessing) We had seen her earlier in the day. We talked the next couple of days and went to the movies one night. We had a great time and had the hottest sex after. The next day I felt really anxious about where this whole thing was heading. He was going to be 4 hours away from me in September and I would be home. I texted him that night saying something about the future and he ignored me for a few hours. I called him and he said he was playing a video game and didn’t see my text. Idk why but I accused him of lying and we got into a fight. The next day he apologized even called to tell me what he was doing that night so that I didn’t bug out on him. I had had plans to spend the weekend with my new guy, but because me and my ex had started things up I canceled on him. I had work Friday night but called him after and he ignored my calls and texts to 3 am. He said he was sorry blah blah blah but the next day he wound up going on the boat with his friends, without inviting me. The girl Jess also wound up going on that boat. When I found this out my anxiety and worry got the best of me and I texted him about 6 times cursing him out saying I had canceled plans to spend the weekend with him, that I had given him another chance and this is how I treated me. He texted me later that night saying “I told you I was going on a boat I don’t know why you had to text me all that”. No call, no nothing. I wound up freaking out on him again and told him I was done. While we were dating I had major trust issues with him. He was always betraying me and had cheated on me. I was always stressed out and anxious just worry about him and the past 2 weeks I’ve noticed my anxiety and depression escalate. I know I probably looked majorly needy to him and crazy and scared him off. But I just feel so lost now and so depressed. I cant stop thinking about him and just want to cry. I feel so bored at home and so empty. I dont know what to do with my life. I look at my phone every 5 seconds to see if hes called or texted. I cant believe I spent 2 months moving on from him just to take him back and have to do it all again. I feel like I messed it all up again ☹ and have no idea what to do from here.
Beeotch Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Your emptiness and boredom have nothing to do with your ex. Nothing he will do, can do, will ever fix that. You explained some really unhealthy things you've done...getting drunk and having sex with your ex who you have trust issues with who has cheated on you, sneaking around some other guy's back and all this. I'm gonna be brutally honest with you: All that is a hot mess...a hot mess that starts and ends with you. I know so many people (my ex for example) who are caught up in all these weird situations that they choose to go into because of their own issues that sometimes they are aware of, and sometimes they aren't, then they blame other people or believe that finding a new relationship is going to mysteriously take away their problems or getting back together with that same effed up person is going to solve it. It won't, because these are signs that something is amiss with YOU why you choose this situations and people, that you now need to take this time without your ex or another man and work on. If you don't...it will be the same script different case, even when you get over your ex. Because it is really not him...so you may get over him, hop into some new relationship but suurpriiiise you still carry yourself with you so problems are bound to reappear.
Author EmptyPromises Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 But I saw the new guy for a a month and everything was fine. I was happy, no stress no anxiety I was happy with my life! I felt like I could trust the new guy. And the ex has fu*ked up so many times its impossible to trust him.Are you saying im doomed? Btw...I didnt make it clear but I had told the new guy I wanted to just be friends before I hooked up with the ex.
Beeotch Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 I'm saying that you must have something going on with you that needs to be adjusted why you continuosly "hook up" with your cheating ex boyfriend, and until you take some time out from dating anyone at all to get some perspective on it...you're most likely going to end up in the same scenario as you are focusing on your ex as your problem and not the real problem, which stems from you. The problem is not about trusting your ex....the problem is not the nice new guy....the problem is you and whatever thing is wrong why you are trying to be a part of your ex boyfriend's life, having drunken sex with him and all this stuff after over and over saying he is untrustworthy. What is it about you why you allow that disrespect? What is really going on? These other men that manifest in your life are only symptoms of a problem existing within you.
Author EmptyPromises Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 well i already know i acted like a doormat. i made alot of mistakes by taking him back....i dont really know why i cant let him go. it upsets me...maybe i dont feel like im good enough. i dont think im ugly, i dont think i have a low self esteem. maybe its a lack of self respect for myself for some reason. or maybe im just crazy and pathetic.
Author EmptyPromises Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 maybe its the rejection that appeals to me...i hate it and it drives me crazy. its much easier to deal with when hes begging me back saying he made a mistake..
Beeotch Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 well i already know i acted like a doormat. i made alot of mistakes by taking him back....i dont really know why i cant let him go. it upsets me...maybe i dont feel like im good enough. i dont think im ugly, i dont think i have a low self esteem. maybe its a lack of self respect for myself for some reason. or maybe im just crazy and pathetic. Only you can answer those questions....truth is, deep inside we KNOW the truth. Don't worry, we ALL can improve and we ALL are guilty of accepting less than for misguided reasons. The crime is when we continue down that road, content in the crap. Once you become aware and decide to work on it, it won't happen over night, but atleast deciding to take that step will lead you in the right direction and you will reach your goal
Author EmptyPromises Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 thank you, you are so kind! i think it comes from my fathers abuse as a child...I took his abuse to mean he loved me and I loved him no matter how many times he would hit us or say mean harsh things a father should never say to his daughter. my last 2 boyfriends have both been emotionally abusive...calling me names, betraying me, cheating on me, even getting physical on numerous if not most occasions. but i still loved them through it all and continued to stand by their side. and i still do i think i just have a misconstrued vision of what love is and the actions that are associated with love and it all goes back to when i was little. Idk how to change that or what the first step is. I was very depressed as a teenager even took a bunch of tylenol one night and wound up in the hospital. My battle with depression has gotten better through the past 5 years, except this past february, when my boyfriend cheated and didnt seem to care that he had hurt me i wound up cutting myself. sometimes when he treats me badly and doesnt seem to care it frustrates me so much that i just want to do something, anything to ease the pain. I havent cut myself since February but the temptation still lurks. Ive seen a therapist for about 5 years. I dont like it and im not comfortable tell her my innner thoughts. Honestly Id rather write them to you guys pretty much anonymously. sorry this is starting to turn into a rant..
Sambo Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Everyone wants what they can't have and that's just being human. Don't be to hard on yourself you made a mistake and the real thing you have to do now is LEARN from it. So what's the lesson? I challenge you to really think about this question because there is an answer and once you find it you won't make that mistake again. Your going to be fine but the question is will you be better.
Author EmptyPromises Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 My ex texted me at 7 am this morning saying he was going to cal lme later to discuss something. I believe he saw i wrote on the new guy's wall saying to feel better because he was sick. THe new guy has an open profile so I think my ex is stalking him out to see if were talking again. Looked at his facebok this morning and there were pics of him and this girl that he hooked up with before. They were pretty flirty pics. I texted him back saying "I can do what I want, you ruined things by hanging out with that girl. I dont want to talk to you" He texted me back saying " Yea. She gives great head." Slap in the face! I texted him back saying " Your disgusting stop texting me" he wrote back " Your the biggest slut I know" im done repsonding to him but wtf? HEARTLESS?
lunita Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 STOP CONTACTING HIM. CHANGE YOUR NUMBER. BLOCK HIM ON FACEBOOK. You are both egging each other on and for what? NOTHING. More hurt, more pain. You will feel better once you kick him out of your life, but you are actually making it worse by continuing this drama.
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