shiftedblue Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 I broke up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years about two and a half months ago, then after 9 days of his torturing me with texts, emails, calls...I gave it and got back with him. I was really depressed and lonely. He said he would change and be better to me, but in the two months that we were together again, everything was the same if not worse. But, I love him and I just dealt with it. Then last Saturday he dumped me on the phone. He said he doesn't have enough time for me. He has been working this awful summer job and it's been making him depressed, but I've been there for him through everything. Then suddenly I get dumped. I feel so sad. I know the relationship had a lot of problems but I just feel betrayed and obsessed with the idea that he found someone new and dumped me to get back at me for when I dumped him. IDK.. after three and a half years, I can't believe he'd play games like that...or IDK this is just so hard. So anyway, I have not called or texted him (it's been ten days). But I did send one email that said how sick I felt that he couldn't be honest with me or tell me it's over to my face after three and a half years. He replied two days later that he was sorry he hadn't said it to my face but that he'd like to talk again when the job is over and school begins again. To me that sounds like he just wants to f*ck around with other girls and have me on reserve in a few weeks. I don't want to go back but I'm scared he's going to contact me in a few weeks and try and get back with me. And Idk if I'll be strong enough to say "get lost." Sigh!
Don Ho Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Stop using his work to rationalize why he broke up with you. It was a bad relationship. It's human nature to want someone when they reject you. See how you felt OK when you broke up with him? You were fine. Even though he "broke up" with you, I think you need to get that out of your mind and realize you broke up with him two months ago, gave it a go and it was worse than before. What I mean is change YOUR mind set. Realize it was not a good relationship for YOU and that you made your choice two months ago. I'm sure he will contact you. But this time you're going to get back on the horse, join Match.com or something and go on a few dates and get busy with your life. When he does come back you will be stronger, have a clearer mind and realize it was a bad relationship. You're not going to have to say "get lost" because you will have moved on and it won't matter. Good luck!
Author shiftedblue Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 thank you... you're right. Trying to rationalize this kind of stuff is pretty foolish anyway. It's the early days of the break up and stuff is still really hard but I'm sure it'll get better.
Jamie_w Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 thank you... you're right. Trying to rationalize this kind of stuff is pretty foolish anyway. It's the early days of the break up and stuff is still really hard but I'm sure it'll get better. I have always stuck by NC but even when i got my ex back by using NC she said if i had chased her she would have got back with me. After reading this, does anything think that maybe NC isn't the answer all of the time? This dude just bombarded the girl and it ended up working!
vivrantflo Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I wouldn't say that it "worked" She just admitted that she went back to him because she felt "depressed and lonely". You don't want someone to come back to you, because they are lonely.. you want them to come back because they miss you personally,regret the breakup, and they love you in the romantic element.
Author shiftedblue Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 Well I did/still do love the guy. But I hear what you're saying...in most cases, the sh*t my ex pulled when I broke up with him probably wouldn't work. But I didn't break up with him because I found someone else. I did it because he refused to work on the problems in our relationship and I was tired and sad and wary of the future. I took him back because of love...along with the loneliness etc. Dumping him was absolutely devastating for me.. almost as painful as it has been for me having been the one dumped now. But this is worse... The only satisfaction I have is that I haven't tortured him the way he did to me, so I kind of feel like I win in that regard.
skydiveaddict Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Blue; don't let this guy jerk you around anymore. cut all ties w/him
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