dro Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 I'm currently giving a girl space. It's been a week of no contact at all until my birthday she sent me an email wishing me happy birthday. But this email isn't typical of her because it was written very formally and isn't like her usual self. She could have called but emailed instead. What does this mean? Why did she send an email at all if she was the one who asked for space? Why is she typing all formally? Should I send a reply?
Don Ho Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Hey Dro. Good you've gone a week with NC. Keep it up! Yes she emailed and in a formal tone because she does not want you to get the wrong idea!! She sent an email on your Bday because she was trying to be KIND. Do NOT mistake that as a sign of anything else. NO you should not send a reply. She asked for "space"? That means she's LOSING attraction for you and doesn't know how to tell you to get lost. I assume you're giving her space because she asked you to. So do it. Total NC. No response. UNLESS she contacts you and starts saying "I made a mistake" or "I miss you" or "Can we get back together". Something substantial. And if that happens, you better keep your cool and move SLOWLY. So what does it really mean when a woman says "I need space"? That you're not acting like a MAN and she wishes you would and that she is LOSING attraction for you. So. Man up and go NC. If that doesn't turn her around then you learned a lesson you can use for your next GF and nothing was going to work. Good luck.
Author dro Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 thanks man. but i forgot to mention that she also mentioned in the email about getting stuff for her computer from me??
cookie2 Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Total NC. No response. UNLESS she contacts you and starts saying "I made a mistake" or "I miss you" or "Can we get back together". Yep, do this. If she wants stuff for her computer she can get it herself, or should have taken it with her. Space is space, it doesn't work if she's popping round once a week to pick stuff up. She asked for it, so give it to her -- NC.
Author dro Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 is she unsure of what she wants? she's asked for space before then the next day we're back together and good. then we go through a tough time. it's a cycle. also, she wanted to hang out still
Don Ho Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Cookie's right. She's just using that as an excuse. I never let that happen with an Ex, no meeting to get stuff, no going to her house to get my stuff. NO physical contact! I always tell them to leave it on the doorstep and I will get it when she's at work (or vice versa). You for sure do not want to see her and let her get all "dolled up" so she sucks you in again.
Author dro Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 Cookie's right. She's just using that as an excuse. I never let that happen with an Ex, no meeting to get stuff, no going to her house to get my stuff. NO physical contact! I always tell them to leave it on the doorstep and I will get it when she's at work (or vice versa). You for sure do not want to see her and let her get all "dolled up" so she sucks you in again. I want us to be back together though..
Don Ho Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I understand you want her back, bro. But contacting her will just push her further away. Unfortunately you can't do anything to change her mind. Meeting with you will make you feel worse. Don't do it. She has to be the one to come to YOU! It will not work any other way for any significant amount of time. You must back off. And if she comes back, DO NOT rush back in! You might want to search No Contact here on LS and do a lot of reading. Good luck, you'll be fine.
DustySaltus Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 When a girl asks you to give her space, give it to her. She is basically telling you that she would rather be anywhere else but with you. I apologize if i'm being too blunt, but it's the truth. I like to spend time with people who like my company, you should as well. All she is doing during this period is trying to figure out a way to let you down easy so SHE doesn't feel guilty. Just disappear. Please read the links in my signature. Stay strong.
Author dro Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 Would it be rude if I didn't reply at all though?
AlwaysConflicted Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 NC isn't rude. It's what she asked for.
Username37 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I'm currently giving a girl space. It's been a week of no contact at all until my birthday she sent me an email wishing me happy birthday. But this email isn't typical of her because it was written very formally and isn't like her usual self. She could have called but emailed instead. What does this mean? Why did she send an email at all if she was the one who asked for space? Why is she typing all formally? Should I send a reply? My ex girlfriend asked for space too. She sent me a handwritten b-day card too which I did not reply too. Don't reply back. You're respecting her wishes by NOT contacting. I've been on NC for a while and my ex even sent me a text saying "when are we gonna be friends again? :(" pffttt....I'm not gonna get demoted to friend status. If she feels like **** and calls you immature, then it's her fault. She still cares for you, which is good. But if you want her back or still have strong feelings for her, don't reply.
Beeotch Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I'm currently giving a girl space. It's been a week of no contact at all until my birthday she sent me an email wishing me happy birthday. But this email isn't typical of her because it was written very formally and isn't like her usual self. She could have called but emailed instead. What does this mean? Why did she send an email at all if she was the one who asked for space? Why is she typing all formally? Should I send a reply? Wanting space doesn't mean you hate someone. It wasn't a random email, it was a special day for you so she was showing she cared. I am not her, but this sounds like she cares for you but may not be interested or is unable at this time to pursue anything romantically. She may decide so permanently or later on change her mind. However, for now, in the present, she doesn't want to be involved in the same capacity as before hence a more formal email and not calling. She does not want to lead you on so she is setting a boundary. You can respond to the email saying thanks, but respect her wishes for space. No need to be childish or rude as she has not been that way towards you.
Author dro Posted August 16, 2010 Author Posted August 16, 2010 I'm not exactly sure of her definition of space. There are times when she asked for it and I gave it to her but then I came back and we were the way we were. Maybe her space is to take things slower?
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