Why did i feel like this?

[Misty2004]

When will my first thought in the morning not be of this mess, of him?

When it hits me what happened, that it's all over.

 

It's bn 3 weeks since he said he wanted space, that his head was spinning. He didn't know what he wanted.

 

1 week since i found out that he was dating someone else. He had decided to date her when he told me he wanted space.

 

Days since he told me that he did love me. but he couldn't get over he's hang ups. He was talking to some one about it, about why he treated me so badly for the last year.

 

1 day since I told him that, since he's my boss and I have to work for him, that contact should be kept to email unless absolutely necessary.

The having to deal with him several times a day was not good for me. It was making me stressed out.

and since no contact is not an option until I find another job, this is the nearest to no contact that I can get.

 

This person has lied to me, had hurt me numerous times, has not treated me like a worthy person for a long time.

The reason that I kept on giving him a chance was because he said he wanted it. He wanted to be able to treat me , the way he felt about me. He wanted to get over his hang-ups.

 

This person I decided in the last few weeks was bad for me. Friends aren't meant to make you feel bad about yourself. That i was better off without him.

That he had either lied to me about the way he felt for a long time, or that he was so messed up that he would never be able to treat me properly.

I decided to never give him another chance to hurt me. I had given him so many chances and it always ended the same.

 

But still i'm so sad. Most of the time, i'm ok, not great but ok.

But every morning when i wake up and it all hits me, I'm sad.

 

That maybe he has gone to talk to someone, Maybe he does love me then. and that i have just slammed the door firmly shut by making sure he never crosses that line again.

 

I'm just sad this morning

[Darkangelism]

I know it hurts, just let it out. It will get better as time passes, then you will be able to look for a new guy.

[Vivid_29]

Misty -- The breakup wasn't that long ago, my dear. You are still healing and you need to give yourself time to grieve.

 

Do things to get your mind off of the breakup. Stay busy -- Pick up a new hobby, do some volunteer work, become better at your job.

 

I, too, work with my ex and at first, it was hard for me to be around her. Now, I just view her as a regular employee. Being around her, doesn't even phase me, anymore. Hopefully, in time, the same will happen to you.

 

I thought your post was sad, but I did enjoy reading it. I like how it was worded.

 

Hang in there, friend. You're gonna be alright!

 

~V

[Misty2004]

And 1 day since I took back control.

I should have add that.

That's what I should concentrae on!

 

I know why I feel like this. I let him get back into my head when he said that he loved me, and that he wanted to get over he's hangups.

He still the same person! Why is he telling me this when he's dating somene else?

 

He's still the same person who acted like he's feelings for me was something to be hidden at any cost. Even the cost of me being out of he's life, of hurting me.

 

The sadness has lingered all day.

What was i thinking? i need to step back and see the situation as it is now.

 

That he is messed up and can only cause me hurt and I am better off without him in my life.

Now i have control of my happiness. i need to grab that and run with it.