Thierro Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You know, I am sick and tired of the way WE are feeling. I am tired of the hurt, the memories, the coping, the useless fantasizing about how she will re-enter my life. The waiting for her name to appear in my mailbox or phone. The endless hope for the words; I am so sorry, I want you back, I need you, please forgive me. I hate the love games that guys and girls play or any other game that life throws at you. I don’t want to be part of it; never again. NO rules, NO BS; this is my life and my life to enjoy. I want to live it and create it the way I want I try to heal, I try to cope, I try to not give a damn about everything and everyone. I want to truly be carefree. I know NOW that I am the perfect guy for ME. I believe in the things I do and want. I am gold. I am growing, I am changing, I am evolving. I want the memories to stop. I want her out of my life, out of my hope and dreams. You know, I was thinking about writing her a letter or call her and be a complete and utter *ss so I can move on without a single thought that she will ever come back. I am ready to fight. I want her to throw everything she’s got and I will rise above it. I’d rather try something and regret it then spend the rest of my life wondering about it. I need to move on. No one can make me feel inferior without MY consent. I say stop all the crap, I say STOP feeling inferior because of a single person or even the world, I say no more! This is my stepping stone and I am going to reclaim my throne high up in the sky where I will look down to this world and feel invincible. You can join me for a drink if you like. We are all prisoners at one time or another in our lives, prisoners to ourselves or to the expectations of those around us. It is a burden that all people endure, that all people despise, and that few people ever learn to escape. Lose the chains, stand up and move on. My journey begins even though I am still very vulnerable. I need to let go of the anger. I need to let go of validation from others.
bonpaw2008 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You know, I am sick and tired of the way WE are feeling. I am tired of the hurt, the memories, the coping, the useless fantasizing about how she will re-enter my life. The waiting for her name to appear in my mailbox or phone. The endless hope for the words; I am so sorry, I want you back, I need you, please forgive me. I hate the love games that guys and girls play or any other game that life throws at you. I don’t want to be part of it; never again. NO rules, NO BS; this is my life and my life to enjoy. I want to live it and create it the way I want I try to heal, I try to cope, I try to not give a damn about everything and everyone. I want to truly be carefree. I know NOW that I am the perfect guy for ME. I believe in the things I do and want. I am gold. I am growing, I am changing, I am evolving. I want the memories to stop. I want her out of my life, out of my hope and dreams. You know, I was thinking about writing her a letter or call her and be a complete and utter *ss so I can move on without a single thought that she will ever come back. I am ready to fight. I want her to throw everything she’s got and I will rise above it. I’d rather try something and regret it then spend the rest of my life wondering about it. I need to move on. No one can make me feel inferior without MY consent. I say stop all the crap, I say STOP feeling inferior because of a single person or even the world, I say no more! This is my stepping stone and I am going to reclaim my throne high up in the sky where I will look down to this world and feel invincible. You can join me for a drink if you like. We are all prisoners at one time or another in our lives, prisoners to ourselves or to the expectations of those around us. It is a burden that all people endure, that all people despise, and that few people ever learn to escape. Lose the chains, stand up and move on. My journey begins even though I am still very vulnerable. I need to let go of the anger. I need to let go of validation from others. Good job Thier!! You don't need her consent to move on, you just said it yourself. You are ready, she is not coming back, and this is your life to live. We need to stop living our lives hoping, pining, waiting, we need to get on with it and find that bliss!! Good on ya, you got this
markandrew Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Time is a great healer. I've been there a few times, it hurts yet we wished we could just turn off a switch, stop thinking about the other and just move on. Hope for you that the feelings go away, so you can find peace of mind. Mark
Author Thierro Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) It’s actually a very beautiful thing when you think about it; the ability to have all these emotions, to learn from them, to experience life. The only thing that matters is loving yourself; what you do and how you do it without ever being sorry. Life is too short to doubt, to be sorry or regretting stuff. Being able to anticipate on whatever life will put you through and stay smiling because nothing will take you down. Some moments will be hard, but always beautiful. I like some challenge. Feeling the way I do is a brilliant experience. I am thankful for that. Yes, I need to enjoy this period for a short while. I already have learned so much. Great! Life, give me your best shot. I am ready. P.S: Dear M, Please polish my throne and get the hell out of my life. With love, -The best thing in the world that you threw away. Edited August 9, 2010 by Thierro
Calendula Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 (edited) In response to your PM about ‘what if’s’ and second chances, I figured I would post here, in your most recent thread, so others might benefit from the exchange. I think you’re on the right track with your OP for this thread, but it still seems like you haven’t found your groove yet, bouncing from one idea to another, from one feeling to another. I know it is a lot of reading, but perhaps the following will help: I read your two most recent threads, and my gut response to your inquiry is that you’re not yet ready to try for a second chance with your ex. It seems to me like there is a lot that you are still working on for YOU, things you’re trying to improve about yourself, that you CAN’T do with her in your life. You still need to find your internal balance, you still need to tame your inner mental voice, and gain insight into your emotions (why and how you feel certain ways). You need time to pick apart every relationship you’ve had up until now and figure out what about them worked and what didn’t and why, WITHOUT the distraction of another relationship. Right now you need to be focusing on YOU, not on her or anyone else. If you two are meant to be together, your time will come. It may me several years from now, but it will come. You have to believe this. If you don’t believe it, then you will worry it to death and you will eliminate any possible chance you could have had. And in the mean time you CAN’T hold onto hope that someday she will walk back into your life. At least not as a modus operandum. When I ended my relationship with the man I recently reconnected with, I honestly believed that I would never again be with him. I knew I was giving up a good thing, but I also knew that I was doing the right thing for me and I have never regretted my decision, even before we reconnected. You can’t ever go back to what was, and once something changes, it changes forever. You have to move on. It isn’t an option, it is a necessity. You can always love her, you will always have your memories, but you HAVE to leave her in your past. If she re-enters your life at some point in the future, then so be it, but you CAN’T live your life waiting for her. It is no kind of life anyone should live, endlessly waiting for something/ someone you can’t control. You have to live your life for you, NOW. You have to build your future for YOU, for what you want, and for no one else. Focus your energy on what you can control (namely, YOU) and let the rest of the world, and this girl, take care of themselves. This is what I have done, and it has served me well. The time I spent away from the man I love, letting him go completely, allowed me to grow and change in ways I could never have done had we stayed together or reconnected sooner. I had to have time to figure out what I truly wanted. I needed experience. I needed to grow and change. I needed time to become someone who could truly appreciate and deserve him. And the day I woke up and finally contacted him came at the end of a long period of personal growth and struggle. I had hit the bottom, emotionally, and I finally figured out that he really was the one for me. Chances are, your ex-girlfriend will never walk the path I did. My relationship with this man was truly unique (no fighting of any sort, no insecurities, no immaturities; trust, honesty and open communication all the way), and many would only dream of having what I had. Sad to say, but from what I’ve read of your posts, it doesn’t sound to me that this was the kind of relationship you had, but perhaps it is something you can now move towards with someone new. You have to acknowledge that if the woman you currently love is meant to be in your life, then the only thing you can truly do is LET HER GO, and focus on making yourself a better person. The man I love let me go. It hurt him, but he understood my need to grow and change, and he understood that it wasn’t something I could ever do with him in my life. You have to focus on YOU, so that if some day she does walk back in your door, you are ready and deserving of her. This isn’t to mean that you should work on you for her, but rather that you should working on being a better person for whoever is meant to be with you, that unknown partner out there somewhere in the world, be it her or anyone else. I will freely admit that my story is unique. Even two months ago, I couldn’t have predicted that I would be where I am right now with my personal relationships. It may sound like a romantic fairy tale in some of my posts but I’ve totally skipped all the things that happened in the intervening 4 years, and these things had significant influences on me. My point is that I went out and lived FOR ME. I tried to find my own way, and improve myself, and it is something I am still working on and always will be doing. Now that my time has again come with the man I love, I truly feel ready and deserving of him, and I can only hope that we actually have a chance to work things out the way we want. My intention during those four years was to work on me, and looking back I truly have no regrets. It hasn’t been easy, but I have no regrets, and I don’t wonder ‘what if.’ Edited August 10, 2010 by Calendula clarification
Calendula Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 So my advice to you in summary is as follows: 1) LET HER GO. If you two are meant to be together it will somehow work out and she will return to you. It isn’t easy, but letting her go is necessary for winning her back. If you never let her go, then how can she return to you as someone new and better? You’ve said elsewhere that she broke up with you because you smothered her, so you should already know that this is essential. Holding to her memory will just tie you to the past and keep you from moving on and growing as an individual. Those you truly love you set free, because the most important thing to you is their happiness, even if it means that they may not be with you in order to get it. 2) STOP HOLDING YOUR BREATH for her to come back. Change your focus from your life being about her and what you've lost to it being about you and what you have. From your recent threads and posts it already looks like you’re working on this one. Good. Keep going. You’ve got a long way yet to travel. 3) ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE. Figure out who you are, what you like about yourself, and what YOU want to change about yourself. From your posts it seems like you have analytical tendencies – use it to your advantage. Turn your analytical observation inwards on yourself and write to get your thoughts and observations out of your head. I am a hyper-analytical person myself (I’m a scientist) and if I didn’t write and analyze my life I would probably go crazy with all the thoughts always bouncing around my head. You are who you are, and if you can accept it then so can everyone one around you. 4) LEARN ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE. It may seem strange, but learning about your personal tendencies through online personality tests can actually be helpful towards learning about yourself and understanding how and why you respond to certain situations. Two you should definitely look up are Myers Briggs (humanmetrics.com has a free test) and the Enneagram (similarminds.com has a free test). Take the free tests and read about the descriptions they come up with. The more you can learn about YOU, the way you are, the better able you will be to decide what you want to change about youself and what you like about who you currently are. 5) FIND YOUR OWN BALANCE. This is something that no one else can truly help you with. Only YOU can possibly know what you need to be content with the life you have. Only YOU know what is going on in your head, what is important to you, what you are proud of, what you are working on for you, where you have come from..... you get the idea. YOU are the only one who can figure out how to balance all the different parts of your personality, all of your experiences, desires, hopes, dreams, failures. If you can find balance within who you are, then you can find the inner peace and clarity you seek. Part of finding this balance requires COMPLETE acknowledgement of who you are (all aspects of your personality, even the parts you don’t like) and COMPLETE acceptance of YOU as you are. THIS IS NOT EASY. No one likes to admit they aren't perfect, but not being perfect is being human. If you can find your own balance, then you will also find that confidence, security, strength, independence, so many different positive traits, come with it. And with balance and all its associated benefits, comes better communication and a stronger relationships to those you love. The path of self discovery is never an easy one, but it is one that will never lead you astray. Good luck and may the journey be kind to you.
Recommended Posts