Wings Of Love Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 My ex left me 18 months ago. I can't believe I still need to post here, but that's not the point. Anyway, since he left, I've been single. And I'm happy enough to keep it that way until I meet someone I really like. He, on the other hand, hates being single and bounces from girl to girl without giving himself a chance to move on properly. He's currently on girlfriend number 4. Only in the last 2 months did we get back in touch. There has been a lot of flirting since then. Anyway, he recently decided I should start dating again. I told him I wasn't ready and had no interest, and even if I did I'd find someone myself, without his help. But he wants to help me. Maybe because he wants to keep a close eye on me? No idea. Last Monday, he told his friend to add me on facebook. The same night, my ex invited me to meet him and this friend. I agreed, just to see what this man was really like. We met between 11pm and 1am. My ex was talking most of the time, reminding me of some funny things that happened when we were together. I didn't get much chance to speak to his friend. So they invited me to spend Friday with them. We walked for hours during the day, again with my ex reminding me of things I'd long forgotten. I had more chance to speak to his friend though, and I'm honestly not attracted to him in anyway. There's nothing there for me. So when they invited me out for a third time, I declined, because I don't want to give this guy false hope. During this, my ex's new girlfriend has been away. She got home late last night, and he is spending today with her. The funny thing is, when I told his friend I wouldn't be meeting them on Tuesday, my ex signed into msn very soon after and started acting strange. He was really down, and when I asked him if he was ok, he told me I shouldn't worry about him, that I should hate him for everything he's done to me. I asked him where all this had come from, and he didn't answer. He explained he was "upset about things going on in his head" and when I told him things would be better by the morning, he responded with "not really, they've been upsetting me for a while". I told him I couldn't help, and left for the night. Shouldn't he be happy his girlfriend's home though? He's been looking forward to it for weeks now, or at least that's the impression I got the few times he mentioned her. But just hours before they meet and he's suddenly depressed. No idea why I'm asking this. I know my ex doesn't want me anymore, but I guess I worry about him because of my lingering feelings.
Author Wings Of Love Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 I'm really beginning to wonder if he's trying to keep me close so he's got someone around to comfort him if another relationship goes wrong. I don't like to believe he's like that, but it seems the only plausible thing to me, especially as he only contacted me again when his last relationship broke down, and he told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I bet the better move you should take is to 'wait and see'. Watch for signs. take one step at a time. I mustn't watch for signs. I have done recently and I've been seeing plenty that suggest he wants me back. But that goes completely against his words, so I should probably ignore them.
spiderowl Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 He may well turn to someone he knows loves him and who might even forgive him when things go wrong in his life, but would you ever trust him again? He really shouldn't be trying to fix you up with his friend, even if it is just to keep you hanging around for him really. Don't you deserve better than someone who keeps playing around with your feelings? Sometimes some people just want to know you are still on the string so that they are not completely alone. I wish I could say 'yes, he definitely wants you around and this could be the beginning of a reconciliation and love forever', but I can see a lot of potential pain if this guy just keep playing you around at the edge of his life and doesn't make a real apology and public commitment to you. I wouldn't accept anything less. In a way, I'm in a similar situation though we were never in a formal relationship, but I can see the danger in accepting anything less than a definite commitment. I'd step back and avoid getting sucked in to this latest drama.
Author Wings Of Love Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Well I gave in, we met up again today. Had such a wonderful time. But he's just this minute told me his girlfriend left him yesterday. -sigh- This means I have to sit back and wait for the girlfriend number 5 to come along. Shouldn't be long.
Recommended Posts