Bitlost2 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Hi all I first posted about a month ago about my 2 year relationship with MM, this site gave me hope that I can move on and this time last week I was feeling the strongest I have in those 2 years that I'd be fine without him. But then this time last week he starts texting me again properly (GREAT TIMING!! It had never properly stopped but I just wasn't bothered). He was on holiday with family and feeling down. Is this his life? Does it get better than this? He wants to go back in time to live again, wants to be a free 25 year old etc? He misses me, wants to meet up when he's back etc I was strong but friendly and told him he needs to sort his life out if he's that unhappy. Make his relationship better or get out, he can't hide in work and his mates (loads of young females) and drinking for ever. This went on a lot for three days and by this point my heart softened and I missed him right back, I wanted to see him too now! I'd been so strong but he turned on the big guns! We went out Saturday night and had the most amazing evening. I was glowing, smiling, happy. I still had words with him about some of the crap he's said and done but nothing could dampen the high we were on. Simply amazing. I never knew we could still get on like that to be honest, we've been buried under so much pain and hurt but that made me think that we really do have something special to have survived the last two years!! I felt like I fell in love all over again. He said he was looking forward to getting to know me and falling in love all over again. He took my photo which was a first (because of obvious reasons) because I looked so amazing and happy. Well as someone who's not happy much at the mo and is on anti-depressants a late night with alcohol is amazing at the time and devastating the following day! The happiness was my drug and the comedown has been terrible! I'm in a really dark place again, heart physically hurting. Been here before can't believe I'm here again! Oh yes does he want me around. He admits that he's burying his head in the sand regarding his marriage. Says that he's as separated as me in terms of his marriage, that it's only a technicality etc. But I know nothing's going to change don't I!!!? Yesterday I sent some hard hitting texts about two years being a long time waiting for someone to want you as much back and as he's going to keep burying his head in the sand we're living a hurtful farce. So he asked me if that was it, was I going? I said I've been trying to go for two years and it's not happened but I can't keep hoping I'll ever be enough to make you happy and leave your family either. I'm stuck! So here I go again! Gutted that in a week I've gone from strong and hopeful to being in love again instead of just seeing the crap, seeing how good we can be again, devastated again and crying again! The only bit of positivity is that I got to that place before I must be able to get back again!!!! ASAP please! x
Recommended Posts