nokturn Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 So I've been doing the NC thing, to the best of my ability. I cut off contact with her over a month and a half ago. Since then, she has initiated contact about three times -- once through Facebook and twice through text. The first two were just saying hi and asking how I was. The latest one, though, was a bit different. This one was through text message. Not to get too much into the details, but it was about how I "fell off the face of the earth". It surprised me that she said that. And she's right. Part of my NC was just completely disappearing. I've mentioned this in my previous post here, but I've been doing a thing on Facebook where it looks as if I'm not on it at all. No status updates, to commenting on anybody's walls, etc., no activities. Just a quick recap on that other post, she's been putting up status updates that all seemed to have some kind of meaning behind them, possibly meant for me to see. Anyway, I figured the only thing that allowed her to see what I'm up to nowadays is through Facebook, which I wasn't giving to her. Anyway, what's everyone's take on this? Why is she still contacting me? Reason I ask is that it just makes me more and more confused every time she does. I hate to say it, but it gives me a sense of hope that is most likely false hope. For the record, I have to be honest and say that it felt kind of good that she was wondering where I'd been and noticed that I disappeared..
Don Ho Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Hey Nokturn. I hope you didn't respond to her! Now you have her wondering. Good. The next text may be "I've been thinking about you". It's all up to you and your goal. If you want to be over the pain and over her, then don't respond to anything. If you're possibly interested in reconciling, then play it slow and wait it out. Sounds like you don't want her back, but you're wondering why she is contacting. Maybe she's curious why you're not chasing her, maybe she likes attention, maybe she misses you, who knows. Just decide what you want to do and go from there.
Author nokturn Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Hey Nokturn. I hope you didn't respond to her! Now you have her wondering. Good. The next text may be "I've been thinking about you". It's all up to you and your goal. If you want to be over the pain and over her, then don't respond to anything. If you're possibly interested in reconciling, then play it slow and wait it out. Sounds like you don't want her back, but you're wondering why she is contacting. Maybe she's curious why you're not chasing her, maybe she likes attention, maybe she misses you, who knows. Just decide what you want to do and go from there. Hi Don Ho, Thanks for the quick reply. I responded to this one. Not sure if it was a stupid move by me or not, but I was really wondering what she wanted. On the other hand, I'm almost certain that I have her wondering. Anyway, as for me responding, I just kept it short and simple and told her I'm doing great and have a lot of things going on right now. Wished I could say what exactly my goal was, but I'm still having a tough time answering that myself -- that is, whether I'm interested in reconciling or not. All I know is, she's hurt me twice.. even worse the second time around. If there's anything I want, it's for her to realize that things never had to be this way and that she made a mistake. Harsh, I know.. but I know deep down that I'm right.
Don Ho Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Well you know the saying: "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". So she burned you twice and worse the second time? I would be done if I were you. Don't give her the opportunity to suck you in again. If you have moved on and you want her to chase you so you can blow her off, you can do that. I just don't think I would get emotionally involved if I was you.
exclusive. Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I totally agree with Don Ho, there is nothing more to add to that reply. It's all black and white.
Author nokturn Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Thanks guys. All I know is that I have two choices: One, to want her back and the other, to get over the pain and forget about her. The truth is, I don't know which one of these I want. To make it more complicated, I feel that it's a little bit of both for me. I also believe that these things she's doing are pretty similar to what she's done before we got back together the one time. All these things added up make it very confusing for me. But like I said in the beginning of this thread, part of me just wants her to realize things. To realize that things never had to end this way and that it could've worked out had she given me a chance. I just hope that one day, soon, I'll finally make a decision and make the right one..
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