Clep Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I have a family that is insane. Growing up my father was always abusive. My mother wasn't. As time went on, when I was about twenty she changed. Mostly when she and my eldest sister found religion. More like a cult actually. They feed off each other and are terribly manipulative and abusive. I removed my eldest sister from my life many years ago, all of her children as well. My older sister I am very close to. She is the only person in my whole family that I have a relationship with. It has been that way for about a year when my mother ended our relationship because I did not have the same opinion as her on a subject. She has never spoken to me again, and I am not in the least bit crushed. Last year when my older sister came to visit me, my niece, her daughter went to stay with her because she had no where to go. When my sister was visiting me, my family moved all of my sister's belongings out of her place, divided it up, took it over and kicked her out. Yes this was legal. We already went the legal route. The owner of the house did get the niece out, but not before she disposed of everything my sister owned. That was what my mother and I disagreed upon. I can't see myself speaking to my family again. I also do not speak to anyone they associate with. The things that they do cannot possibly be seen as anything less than abusive, to anyone with healthy perceptions. I have a very large family on my mother's and father's side, and don't speak to any of them. When my daughter moved to her father's house she was mad at me and my mother immediately befriended her after not speaking to her for over two years and talking pretty poorly about her. She became friends with everyone except my sister I am close to. My daughter has not spoken to them for quite a while now and our relationship has mended. I know my daughter has lots of issues after going to stay with her father for a couple of years. She really isn't even the person I ever knew before so I don't know what this means. Now I understand my daughter is on friendly terms with one of the children again. I don't feel at all comfortable with this. After getting rid of the people they associate with as well as them, my life is wonderful and drama free. I don't know how to extend that to my daughter though or if I should. I can't tell her who to associate with, or make her decisions for her. I need to decide the type of people I wish to associate with. She has seen my family do some pretty despicable things, to me, her brother and to my sister. I am not pleased at all. Anyone else out there been through anything like this?
wcjulha0710 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 The law says that it is the quality of time at work that counts and the quantity of time at home that matters. By improving the quality of your work time, concentrating single-mindedly on your highest-value tasks and getting them done quickly and well, you can reduce the time you spend at work and increase the time available for your personal life. At home, you need long, unbroken periods of time to build and maintain high-quality relationships. Love, affection, and trust building cannot be rushed. The more time you invest in relationships with the important people in your life, the higher quality of life you will have in all areas. Remember that watching television, reading the newspaper, or working on your computer does not constitute spending time with your loved ones. Interacting, not just spending time in the same place, is what builds relationships. Deliberately create chunks of time with your loved ones. Create thirty-, sixty-, and ninety-minute blocks of time where you can interact one-on-one and face-to-face. Go shopping and go for walks with your family. Take long drives to a distant restaurant or to a resort with your spouse. And when you drive, leave the radio off. A car with no music playing is one of the greatest mobile communication chambers imaginable. You will be amazed at the wonderful conversations you can have in a quiet car. Plan vacations in advance. Schedule them completely. Pay for them in full. Make the payments nonrefundable if possible. Then discipline yourself to take the time away, no matter what happens. The times you spend away and on vacation with your loved ones will include the happiest and most important memories of your lives together. Your job is to create as many opportunities for these happy experiences to take place, and for these memories to develop, as you possibly can. Remember that to do more of one thing, you must do less of another. To spend more time with your loved ones, you must do less of something else. Before you commit to or engage in any behavior, ask yourself, "What will I have to not do in order to do this?" Compare the value of one activity with the other. Your ability to make good choices about how you spend your time largely determines the quality of your life.
Author Clep Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 The law says that it is the quality of time at work that counts and the quantity of time at home that matters. By improving the quality of your work time, concentrating single-mindedly on your highest-value tasks and getting them done quickly and well, you can reduce the time you spend at work and increase the time available for your personal life. At home, you need long, unbroken periods of time to build and maintain high-quality relationships. Love, affection, and trust building cannot be rushed. The more time you invest in relationships with the important people in your life, the higher quality of life you will have in all areas. Remember that watching television, reading the newspaper, or working on your computer does not constitute spending time with your loved ones. Interacting, not just spending time in the same place, is what builds relationships. Deliberately create chunks of time with your loved ones. Create thirty-, sixty-, and ninety-minute blocks of time where you can interact one-on-one and face-to-face. Go shopping and go for walks with your family. Take long drives to a distant restaurant or to a resort with your spouse. And when you drive, leave the radio off. A car with no music playing is one of the greatest mobile communication chambers imaginable. You will be amazed at the wonderful conversations you can have in a quiet car. Plan vacations in advance. Schedule them completely. Pay for them in full. Make the payments nonrefundable if possible. Then discipline yourself to take the time away, no matter what happens. The times you spend away and on vacation with your loved ones will include the happiest and most important memories of your lives together. Your job is to create as many opportunities for these happy experiences to take place, and for these memories to develop, as you possibly can. Remember that to do more of one thing, you must do less of another. To spend more time with your loved ones, you must do less of something else. Before you commit to or engage in any behavior, ask yourself, "What will I have to not do in order to do this?" Compare the value of one activity with the other. Your ability to make good choices about how you spend your time largely determines the quality of your life. Maybe you thought you were responding to a different post? I do not see how this relates at all to my post.
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