tpopcaz Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Ok first I would like to say sorry for calling some peoples advice and help idiots. Sometimes when your hurt the advice you hear isn't what you want to accept and I'm sorry for that. Well me and my ex hung out for the first time today in about a month. We just chatted about what was going on in our lives and joked around like usual. When she left I thanked her for visiting, she thanked me for having her over we talked a little while and then she went take a nap because she is going through preseason for college soccer. Well around 6 tonight my nephew text me saying that my ex texted his family and wanted to visit. So I texted her and asked if that was a message sent earlier because they were at the lake all day and theres usually no service, she told me no she had sent it but her mom wanted her to go eat with her and shed text me later. So a few hours pass and I get a long message that all she has been doing since we hung out is think about me. She doesnt know if its good or bad, but she wants to hang out more and we talked for about 2 hours about things and joked around more. I don't know if I should get my hopes up, but I figure thinking about me all day and wanting to hang out is a step in the right direction. Now that all that is said I'd like to give a little advice instead of ask for some. 1.) Do not stalk them and blow up there phone, if you are doing so its never to late to stop. I had to make myself stop 2.) When you do talk dont bring up the past and bad mistakes each of you made. Ask whats been going on in there life and how they been. Don't be overly nice and seem desperate. 3.) Execpt the breakup. One of the hardest things I had to do was execpt the breakup and admit I did some things wrong and I see why she feels a certain way and respect how she feels. No matter if he/she still loves you or hates you it would be nice for them to know that you see your mistakes and you respect how they feel. 4.) Sometimes its ok to be friends. The way I see it is this. I care about her enough that I want her in my life even if it just was as a friend. I had to set a line for myself saying no matter what, if she dated someone else then I could never be more then friends with her. I hope some of these things help others that are hurting out there.
skydiveaddict Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 It's ok w/me if you want to be just friends with your ex. While she is dating someone new. As for me, I will never play second string to some other guy
Author tpopcaz Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 thats what I'm saying you have to draw a line for your feelings somewhere. I told her that I'll always be your friend, but I will never be more then your friend if you go on and find someone else. Because like you said why feel like your second best.
skydiveaddict Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Being her friend IS being second best. Just let her run and do what she's going to do. But dont be her friend, It will only cause you pain
Author tpopcaz Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 thats the problem its actually working out that I stuck with her and was her friend now we are hanging out and getting along again. Its hard to just say I cant be your friend, in the last three years I've had 6 neck surgerys and she gave up alot of her life to help me get around.
skydiveaddict Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 thats the problem its actually working out that I stuck with her and was her friend now we are hanging out and getting along again. Its hard to just say I cant be your friend, in the last three years I've had 6 neck surgerys and she gave up alot of her life to help me get around. Like I said, if you want to remain her friend while she sleeps w/some other guy, that's your business. Neck surgeries or not. It was nice of her to do that , but it changes nothing.
Author tpopcaz Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 We have different opinions, the girl I'm dated is not a slut, shes one of those girls you have to be in a long relationship with her to gain her trust. If she was sleeping around I'd feel like second best if a random day she was like I been with this guy, but I have feelings for you. This is different this is we broke up had our differences and now starting to solve things.
skydiveaddict Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Well then maybe things will work out for you. I hope they do. And I didnt mean to suggest that she was a slut by any means, I'm sorry for that. I just don't think you should ever play second string for some other guy. It's not good for you. I hope things work out for you both.
Author tpopcaz Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 yes no worries about it everyone has there opinions and thanks for wishing me the best. Trust me I've made it clear that I'm not going to be second best.
lalalandman Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 all girls are sluts. keep being her friend, you'll learn this soon.
Author tpopcaz Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 Well good news. We decided to talk things over and work on the things we did that got us here. We are not back together yet, we both decided that we will give it time, but we have been hanging out for 4 days in a row now.
Username37 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 great that you and your ex are friends. That makes me smile I can't be friends with my ex personally. She's my first love and she's been whoring around. Why be friends with someone like that? It will only cause me pain and I'll be treated differently than her other guy friends.
Don Ho Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 You have seen her everyday for 4 days in a row? Bad move. Now whatever attraction you raised in her with NC, you're undoing. Everyone says go NC and it seems hardly anyone talks about meeting the Ex and reconciling. You need to see her about every 4 days or week and that's about it. You should be acting differently and should not rush back in. And DO NOT bring up the past, the reasons or that you want her back. Do not text her back and forth, email, or FB or anything. You only talk on the phone for a few minutes to make your date. You have her biting, now you need to reel back a little. Get it?
Author tpopcaz Posted August 12, 2010 Author Posted August 12, 2010 to me its the right move. I went NC for only 5 days before we started talking again. It's not like I didnt talk to her for months then she decided she wanted to talk. I just gave her time to cool off, see I understand why we arent together and see I respect her feelings. We talked for about two weeks after I let her know why we werent together and now we are starting to hang out again. I guess in some cases after NC for a long time its a bad move, but I think this is the right move for now. I rather take the chance to talk in person and fix things now then tell her no and never know what could of been.
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