sandman6991 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Hey guys, This is my first post here, as I just came across this forum. I'm excited to be here, but I'm here because I have a problem...I just can't win when it comes to relationships! I'm 19 and starting my sophomore year of college, and my life is going pretty well...except for dating. I've had so many girls agree to go on a first date with me and then lose all interest after that. Heck, it's even hard for me to get a date sometimes. I really want to get this part of my life handled, it's been bugging me for years. Honestly, I'm beginning to think it's because I'm not attractive. Since I want to get my dating problems fixed, I need to know if that's the problem so I can make the necessary changes to make myself more attractive. None of my friends would be able to give me an honest opinion, so I'm asking you guys to help me out here, and please, don't pull any punches...I need your honesty. How attractive or unattractive am I, and do you think that's why I can't get dates? Secondly, what can I do to make myself more attractive? Thanks so much...here's to hoping I can get a girl before college is over!! I'm the guy on the right in the first two pictures and left in the last one http://images2e.snapfish.com/232323232%7Ffp537%3B8%3Enu%3D335%3B%3E346%3E%3B7%3B%3EWSNRCG%3D34%3C98%3A35%3B4336nu0mrj http://images2e.snapfish.com/232323232%7Ffp537%3B4%3Enu%3D335%3B%3E346%3E%3B7%3B%3EWSNRCG%3D34%3C98%3A78%3A5336nu0mrj http://images2c.snapfish.com/232323232%7Ffp538%3A7%3Enu%3D335%3B%3E346%3E%3B7%3B%3EWSNRCG%3D34%3C98%3A35%3B5336nu0mrj
USMCHokie Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 It's not your looks, bro...you look fine to me (no homo)...but you can do the following things: (1) Get a better haircut...I have a feeling you keep the hair on the sides a little longer because it makes your ears appear a little smaller...take the sides a little closer and do something textured on top... (2) Go to the gym...in picture 2, you look a bit on the slender side...gain a little bit of lean weight and the ladies will be all over you... You're young...don't sweat it, you're still growing into yourself and who you will become...
Angel1111 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Judging from the photos, I don't think it's your looks - you're quite nice looking. I have no idea why you have trouble getting dates or having success with women. Do you come across as having little self-confidence? Not being sure of yourself is a big turn-off to women. But, whatever it is, I really think it will change once you're in college. People tend to blossom in college because there are so many things to do, so many people to hang around with, so much to learn, and life is just so different.
Author sandman6991 Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 USMCHokie...thanks for the help! With Point #1...it's crazy how dead-on you are. I've wanted a different haricut for a long time, but I'm afraid that my ears will stick out too much, so I just keep what I have. Do you still think that I should cut it a little shorter on the sides, even with the whole ears prediciment? And I also agree with Point #2, I need to get in the gym! I haven't worked out on a regular basis since HS and it's really starting to catch up to me
Author sandman6991 Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Angel1111, thanks for the advice! I'm glad to hear that it's not my looks that's holding me back so much, because everything else I can work on. I honestly do think that I may come across as insecure, partially because I I've always been more on the shy side. It's like a snowball effect I think...because I haven't had success in the past, I guess it's become natural for me to always have doubts in the back of my mind.
USMCHokie Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 USMCHokie...thanks for the help! With Point #1...it's crazy how dead-on you are. I've wanted a different haricut for a long time, but I'm afraid that my ears will stick out too much, so I just keep what I have. Do you still think that I should cut it a little shorter on the sides, even with the whole ears prediciment? And I also agree with Point #2, I need to get in the gym! I haven't worked out on a regular basis since HS and it's really starting to catch up to me Heh, my own ears are too big for my head and stick out...and my hair on the sides gets shaved off every week with a straight razor...so I think you can go shorter on the sides... It'll frame your face a bit better...because you have a tall narrow face...and having hair that is too long on the sides creates a mushroom effect on your head... Just own your ears...don't get too hung up on them...they are what they are...you're still a good looking guy...don't let them define you... And yes, find a knowledgable friend and start going to the gym...trust me, you will not regret it...
Author sandman6991 Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Heh, my own ears are too big for my head and stick out...and my hair on the sides gets shaved off every week with a straight razor...so I think you can go shorter on the sides... It'll frame your face a bit better...because you have a tall narrow face...and having hair that is too long on the sides creates a mushroom effect on your head... Just own your ears...don't get too hung up on them...they are what they are...you're still a good looking guy...don't let them define you... And yes, find a knowledgable friend and start going to the gym...trust me, you will not regret it... Wow! Yeah, that definitely helps to put things in perspective If I go shorter on the sides then I can do a lot of other things with the top too, because now it's kind of boring, I won't lie. I'll go to to a hairdresser and tell them to fix me up with something more stylish. Thanks again for the help, I really do appreciate it
jamesum Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Yeah, no homo either but your face is not ugly dude. I agree with the guy above, YOU NEED A NEW HAIRCUT! Your haircut is so nerdy. Also gain a bit more weight and pack some muscles. Once you reach that you will also automatically feel better about yourself and you will get better luck with the ladies. And if you still want more after that just do one more thing: BE A JERK!
ViciousViolet Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 What type of women are you pursuing? Perhaps you are not pursuing the type of women who will be interested in you. Think about the women who have shown interest in you over the years--those are the women who consider you to be dating/boyfriend material. If you are not happy with that pool of women, branch out.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 It's not your looks, bro...you look fine to me (no homo) ... Hahahahahahahaha. You kill me with that, CHokie. To the OP, I agree with CHokie's first remark (except no homo--me thinks he doth protests too much). You look like an enterprising young lad. Bare in mind that a lot of young woman your age seem to be attracted to the bad guy or Johnny Dangerous as some sort of romantic notion. You look like the opposite--a nice guy probably with an perhaps an overwillingness to please. I'm sure a mature woman would value you more than the ones your junior or the same age. I'm not going to tell you to wear a leather vest and no undershirt and get some highlights in your hair because in the long run you're better off concentrating on success and the visibility that comes with it. You're identity will not be a front or composite. You'll attract a minority of well-grounded girls rather than a feast of shallow ones. Succeed and be noticed and don't sweat your looks.
Eeyore79 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You are cute! If I was your age I'd be interested in dating you. I agree with the suggestion of a funkier haircut though, and maybe some more fashionable clothes - I don't know what you usually wear, but the tie and shirt look is a little nerdy for a guy of your age, and the tshirt and jeans look is a little plain. Maybe a patterned shirt or something? As previous posters have said, a few extra muscles can only increase your attractiveness - girls love a guy who works out!
Author sandman6991 Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Thanks to all the new replies! The one thing that seems to get consistently mentioned more than anything is the haircut (and the working out, but I’m going to do that this fall). Do you guys have any specific suggestions as to what I should do with the hair? I mean, all I would do now is go to a place and ask them what they think would look good on me, but I couldn’t offer them anything as far as guidance or direction go. As far as my clothes, I never wear a dress shirt and a tie out except for special occasions. One of the pictures was taken at a banquet and another was taken at prom, so I don’t dress like that on a daily basis There’s no real set “type” to the women I’ve been pursuing…but I generally stay away from the super popular, sorority type girls because I wouldn’t be able to have much of a chance with them anyway. Other than that, it’s really been a mix of girls that I’ve tried to date. Feelin Frisky…you really hit the nail on the head, and it’s kind of scary how you were able to do that. I do tend to be a nice guy, and I have been told that I can have an overwillingness to please. I know that this can be unattractive…and if you can tell it from those three pictures, I can only imagine how it must come across in person. Do you have any advice for how I should work on that?
jamesum Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Fashion wise, wear the typical white-boy brands like Billabong or Hollister. Also if you have a sister, bring her when you go shopping. I NEVER went shopping without my sister in tow.
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