Div Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Gah. I feel like the guy from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Everywhere I look - on FB, out and about, my brother etc. everyone is in a happy stable relationship. I almost resent them because the last 6 months of my relationship were so one-sided on me giving and giving but never receiving. I feel so foolish for staying in it for so long and getting myself hurt so so badly. It's almost been 3 months but I feel I still have a long way to go...
bonpaw2008 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I know exactly how you feel, I hate everyone But then I look at them and think if they are married how miserable they are, and if they are dating how miserable they are going to be soon and it makes me feel better
Feelin Frisky Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 It's all an illusion. All that matters is what you tell youreself. I adivse ignoring what the world seems like and only go on what you find out for sure. I was miserable when I used to compare images and illusions and rank myself by them. Now, not unhappy being who I am.
Username37 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 It's the opposite for me. Most of my friends on FB are breaking up. But their relationships were like....3 months long and everyone KNEW they weren't going to last. Many had faith in mine. But now it's over
DustySaltus Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 When my ex and i broke up I would walk down the street and see an average looking guy with a beautiful woman and make a face like I was sucking on a thousand lemons. I was a hater and I was bitter. ...but you know what? Good for them. It's a state of mind. If you have positive thoughts, positive things will happen to you. I know it seems like everyone is in a relationship right now, but your not in their heads and with them every step of the way, It could all be a facade. All you can do is focus on your own happiness. Take baby steps forward and understand that what happened was a blessing in disguise.
Author Div Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Thanks for your responses. Dusty I can really relate to your post, and you're right I should be focusing more positively. Time to take a deep breath...
Art_Critic Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You just think they are happy... It's the I want what they have routine and nothing more.. You feel down in the dumps and think.. if only.... Time to get happy with yourself.. being alone and doing some introspection isn't a bad thing.
Woggle Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Where the heck are you looking. I can count the happy couples I know with my fingers.
lullaby Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Yeah. I remember having those thoughts after the break up. I wanted to scream at every couple on the street and say 'he's going to leave you, be prepared' but then I realized that it was silly and only anger. It's best to have good and positives thoughts. What bothers me the most is when some friend of mine doesn't value the person they have next to them, the relationship they have, or when they cheat... I don't know... and that makes me think 'God, I had that, appreciated it, gave my all, never cheated and valued my partner, and you're with someone and I'm not' ***k!!!! My ex and I used to be the model of the perfect couple for all my family and friend. WTF??????
Citizen Erased Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 They won't always be happy, forget others.
spriggig Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Now that I look with a more experienced eye, I see the unhappy couples everywhere. Not all of them, some are still in the honeymoon stage. The women wear no makeup and dumpy clothes, look pissed and walk ahead of the husband. The husbands wear jeans, untucked shirts to hide their bellies a bit and look blissfully unaware. One or both are too fat to be healthy and neither seems very interested in the other. They're out shopping, buying chips and soda or at restaurants, barely talking. When they see someone they know, they paint on fake smiles. They make up the majority of couples over the age of about 25.
DenverBachelor Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 1. Just because they "look" happy doesn't mean they *are* happy. I would rarely argue with my ex in public (or any ex for that matter), but we'd always be smiling and holding hands -- even if we were in the middle of a fight. One of my ex's would smile, squeeze my hand and say, "You're so not getting laid tonight," with a big smile on her face. I'd smile back and say, "you're a real bitch." Then we'd swing arms and walk down the street while we both plotted how we would kill each other later that evening. 2. I'm sure there's been plenty of times where people in your current shoes saw you with your ex and thought the exact same thing. Hop the fence, now hop it again -- again and again. 3. Everyone's sucking face in the honeymoon phase. It's the only phase where you get to step out of reality and pretend the other person's **** doesn't stink. 4. You'll get there again -- someday. Just remember it won't last forever and enjoy the moments while they exist.
earthfireuk Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 It's the opposite for me. Most of my friends on FB are breaking up. But their relationships were like....3 months long and everyone KNEW they weren't going to last. Many had faith in mine. But now it's over I feel the same. Seems like everyone was breaking up during the time my ex broke up with me. We worked in the same office before we got together. Everyone in the office was telling us for ages how perfect we are for eachother. Then when we got together everyone saw it as a bit of a fairytale romance. Even her friends were telling her we should get married.. lol its funny how something that has the potential to be so wonderful breaks down. right now I dont hold out much faith for any other relationship. I guess in time when i have healed that will change. Just makes you realise that however perfect things may seem, it doesn't mean its bullet proof. However, im kind of happy that other people are happy. i wouldn't want the whole world to be devestated just becasue I am.
welikeincrowds Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 I would walk down the street and see an average looking guy with a beautiful woman and make a face like I was sucking on a thousand lemons Good lord bro, this happened to me about 1412489012 times today. What is it with women and not judging dudes by their stupid douchebag-esque appearances? BLEARGH. I make it a practice to hate people, but I really can't justify hating on these couples. It's just hard, the feeling of sitting on your hands when you're looking for affection. The best you can do is improve yourself and be receptive to the people around you, but you just can't force it.
D-Lish Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 As other's have stated, it's an illusion. Not that there aren't happy couples out there, there are. I meet my highschool gf's once a month- all of them are married, of the 4 of them, 3 are miserable. The evening is always full of complaints and tears about feeling trapped because of kids and mortgages.... The 3 that are unhappy have all caught their H's in affairs, but with children and financial responsibilities- they don't see a way out. It's funny, those same unhappy women always counsel me to compromise my expectations in order to be in a relationship. It's the one "happy friend" who has been with her guy for 15 years, childless, and financially capable of supporting herself if the relationship fell apart, that is adamant that I hold out for a relationship that will be fulfilling on all levels.
howlong Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Gah. I feel like the guy from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Everywhere I look - on FB, out and about, my brother etc. everyone is in a happy stable relationship. I almost resent them because the last 6 months of my relationship were so one-sided on me giving and giving but never receiving. I feel so foolish for staying in it for so long and getting myself hurt so so badly. It's almost been 3 months but I feel I still have a long way to go... Oh my! I have been feeling the same way...I see a couple hug, hold hands, kiss...it makes me sad. Hang in there!
LoveTruthChaos Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 And guess what? When you were a 'happy couple', there were heartbroken people watching you too. Did you notice them? HELL NO - because you were happy. And no one else will notice you again if you fail to be happy - with yourself.
Author Div Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 I do understand that. I was just pointing out the fact that when you're in a relationship you love seeing cute couples together, and now that it's over you see them everywhere more than usual and it can be a kick in the pants when you're down making you think "I used to have that..."
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