beansaregood Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I have been with my long distance girlfriend for 2 years now. I have a couple of problems, the first I am sure about and the second not so much. Because of our LDR we end up spending a couple of months together. During that couple of months we are doing everything together, and in writing this I am at the end of the 2nd Month. But I have had a weird feeling the past few days. I'm worried that Im not committed enough and that Ill end up stop loving her into the relationship. I think this is due to us losing out individuality and becoming 1 person, because we always do the same things when together. Our conversations are becoming dull and I guess we take each other for granted. So I guess I need to tell her this so that we plan the next 2 months together a bit more independently. The next thing is, we broke up for a week a year ago. She broke up with me and broke my heart utterly. After a couple of days NC, I went out with friends got drunk and ended up kissing a girl. It was bad and I didnt enjoy it at all and it just made me miss her more. We ended up geting back together, but I never told her about the kiss when we werent together. sometimes I've been feeling slightly guilty, not about the kiss but about not telling her. But I think i've let it pass too long. If I tell her, I don't know if she'll trust me as I am going on another gap year on my own next month, although I have never cheated on her. Or will it affect our relationship permanently? Question is, do I tell her and risk the relationship or keep it under wraps to prevent any damage?
JohnM Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 If you are quite an independant person the main thing you NEED to do is look after yourself every now and then. Set time aside that is for you and let her understand that in order to be the best you can be for her sometimes you need to do things that help re-energise yourself and this involves time apart, sometimes that may be alone time, sometimes it may be time with other friends. On the kiss. You were seperated, so you were entitled to do so. If it was just a quick kiss and had no feelings attached and you are able to forget about it just drop it, it need not be mentioned again. Bring it up when its not actually that important is going to create a rift. If it was harmless and you can block it out and forget about it happening just leave it be. If it does continue to plague your mind you could tell her but be careful about how you say it and when.
denise_xo Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 On the first issue: this is an inherent problem with LDRs, because when people do get to see each other, they often end up being together 24/7 which isn't very healthy if it happens for a longer period of time. Make sure you schedule some time out for yourself and find a balance between together-time and being-alone-time. Couples who are not in LDRs do this naturally. On the kiss, agree with John: you were not with her during that time, so you did not do anything wrong. Unless you still having feelings for this girl, you don't have any particular obligation to tell your gf about it.
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