Quandry .....

[rumrunner63]

Hope this is the right forum, got divorced last Nov after 3 years. Have the misfortune of owning a marginally successful business that I funded for my ex right before we married. We have to work together for a variety of reasons that I'll save the masses from describing. So here is the rub, she still totally has my heart and since February she has wanted to "reconcile" three times...and like an idiot each time I fell for it. She's on a heavy AD and her mood swings are terrible. The latest "reconcile" fell apart 10 days ago and now she's dating at least 4 different guys.......sigh. Any suggestions on getting past it ? I have truly concluded that she is pure evil but I am trying to find that one last push for closure......

 

Thanks

[AndrewJDC]

Sounds like you have enough already for that final push, just walk toward the cliff and jump, it is scary but you need to face your fear else you will be trapped in this cycle on her whim.

[This Hurts]

Is she mentally ill?

 

My ex has bipolar disorder and she's not being treated for it—she's insane! Trust me, stay away!

[bonpaw2008]

So Runner, you have to work with her every day? Is there any way you can get out of the situation?

 

If not you are in for a rough ride but we are here for you. Try to have as little contact with her as possible. Keep it all business, stay out of her life, what she is doing, who she is seeing, etc. Sounds like she has some serious problems and you need to stop making them yours.

 

Good luck, you can do this.

[spriggig]

Start planning your exit from that business, or fire her if you can. This situation is not sustainable.

[skydiveaddict]

Start planning your exit from that business, or fire her if you can. This situation is not sustainable.

 

 

Agreed. Do what you must do but remove yourself from the situation

[WTRanger]

Sometimes it's more of a hassle and financially irresponsible to dissolve a business partnership. It's also against any employment law to fire someone simply because you are now ex's, even in at-will work states. In case you haven't seen the economy reports, right now it's sheer idiocy to walk away from anything successful and generating income. Plus if you have employees, what's going to happen to the company if you bolt? Will it collapse and leave them without jobs? As an owner, you cannot simply think of yourself. So walking away or getting rid of her just because she's your ex probably isn't the wisest choice of options.

 

You've got to keep your relationship with her solely for the business aspect. Put your effort that you would put into her into the company. Make it go from marginally successful to wildly successful. Know that this is one area you can actually see the effort you put into it, where as with her it's a black hole.

 

If you think she's doing this because she's unstable, and you honestly believe she's at the mercy of her wild emotions, tell her that the only way the two of you have any sort of chance is if she seeks counseling. If she refuses, leaves early, or doesn't stick with it the two of you are over. In that case, you can also use her instability against her and try to leverage her out of the business if you think her instability is detrimental to the business itself.

[rumrunner63]

It's true that the business would falter if I just left, not to mention I'm deep into 6 figues invested and I'm not to keen on letting that slide. She may be bi-polar, the AD she is on simply doesn't work for her and her apathy extends to every part of her life not just me. I sent her a formal buyout offer two weeks ago that enraged her, I think mainly because I built the company for her and she wants it. And even given a boatload of money thats not good enough. I like the idea of channeling my emotions as I am very proud of what we've built so I will try and focus there. I just wish she'd stop parading her new "buddys" thru the office. I wrote myself some pros/cons out last night and I plan to refer to it daily. Thanks to all of you for your insight.