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It Does Get Better!

FearandLoathing

By FearandLoathing
in Coping

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FearandLoathing Established Member

FearandLoathing

Posted
Posted

Hey all :) just wanted to share a bit of my experience with you to let you know that it DOES get better.

 

Last winter I lost my home, my job, dropped out of school and was losing the love of my life. Instead of just letting me go he used me for sex, drugs and money while playing the "I love you but I can't be with you anymore" game... For more months than I'd like to admit.

I can vividly remember one night lying in bed, terribly inebriated, crying in the dark absolutely sure that I was going to die that night. I didn't care if my life ended, I wanted to escape everything I was feeling. A little voice in the back of my head told me that everything gets better if you keep going.

I had many many many more very difficult nights ahead of me but slowly I started to feel better. I slipped up a couple times and saw him but the little bit of pain that came afterward was enough to remind me that he wasn't worth it.

 

I now have not talked to him in 2 months, I have a job again and a home! I'm saving money to go back to school and a trip to Florida this winter. I'm also interested in someone new :) I've gained back the weight I lost and although I'm afraid of the winter months because of my experience, I know that this winter will be different :)

 

What you're going through is hard but you WILL make it out as a better person in the end! Keep your chin up and look toward the future because it's waiting for you :)

HopeLove Established Member

HopeLove

Posted
Posted

I'm really happy for you. I hope I'll expierience that soon.

bonpaw2008 Established Member

bonpaw2008

Posted
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Very happy for you so glad that you are on the right path now! Stay strong

mannpho Member

mannpho

Posted
Posted

Sorry to say but Im no where near that. I sent her a Bday card on August 6th I never thought I would even get a reply ( I hoped she would respond asking me or calling me to talk Ill admit).

 

"Thanks you the card it was nice" I simply signed it as I Miss you and I love You.

She was so cruel to me during the breakup with harsh and mean words I never expected her to respond. She did. I now have this craving to send her a text asking her out for coffee or a date. Im fighting it off.

 

This sucks!

 

I did manage to have a date with this new person and both days i called her by my ex's name. Great !

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FearandLoathing Established Member

FearandLoathing

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks guys :)

 

Sorry to say but Im no where near that. I sent her a Bday card on August 6th I never thought I would even get a reply ( I hoped she would respond asking me or calling me to talk Ill admit).

 

"Thanks you the card it was nice" I simply signed it as I Miss you and I love You.

She was so cruel to me during the breakup with harsh and mean words I never expected her to respond. She did. I now have this craving to send her a text asking her out for coffee or a date. Im fighting it off.

 

This sucks!

 

I did manage to have a date with this new person and both days i called her by my ex's name. Great !

 

We all slip up sometimes, I know I did many times. You may text your ex or you may not but eventually you will find the strength and know that keeping in contact is hurting you more than helping you. My advice is to continue fighting the urge to text her but we make our own decisions and they help us learn in the end.

You're doing great so far, don't sell yourself short. You'll get through it :) [even if you don't believe me :p]

Don Ho Established Member

Don Ho

Posted
Posted

Fear: awesome for you! Glad you're life is back on track! Wow, from the depths of despair, alcohol and wanting to die, to a happier life. Maybe you should post a similar thread on "Breaking Up" to give others hope.

 

Mann: you should not have sent her a card, especially with the hope and intention that you might hear from her. I would NOT contact her. A polite reply does not mean much.... do not read too much into it. Continue NC. Ok, hopefully the new girl will understand it was a slip. She may have done the same thing with someone in the past. You could always make light of it and next time you see her say "Hey Kristi! How are you? LOL" (assuming her name isn't Kristi). If she has any sense of humor she will laugh. Then you could say "Oh damn. It's not Kristi? Sorry I always "f" everything up! LOL". Regardless, mistakes are made. Keep checking out the new girl and see how it goes.

mannpho Member

mannpho

Posted
Posted

The new girl is nice and cute. She us very quite compared to my ex. I tried so hard to have a conversation but she wasn't like my ex. I'm trying to understand NC more and more. It's suppose to help us not a waiting game to see if they contact?

Monday morning now and the urge to text or email us off the charts.

 

Damn her for all thus pain.

welikeincrowds Established Member

welikeincrowds

Posted
Posted
Monday morning now and the urge to text or email us off the charts.

 

It will pass. Re-read the Caliguy guide and always have your reasons for doing this clear in your mind.

mannpho Member

mannpho

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Thanks for the advise. Where can I find the Calicut chart you mentioned?

mickleb Established Member

mickleb

Posted
Posted

Absolutely wonderful story, F&L.

 

Thanks so much for posting it. :)

 

Thanks for the advise. Where can I find the Calicut chart you mentioned?

 

I've popped it on your own thread, mannpho.

 

x

Beeotch Established Member

Beeotch

Posted
Posted
Sorry to say but Im no where near that. I sent her a Bday card on August 6th I never thought I would even get a reply ( I hoped she would respond asking me or calling me to talk Ill admit).

 

"Thanks you the card it was nice" I simply signed it as I Miss you and I love You.

She was so cruel to me during the breakup with harsh and mean words I never expected her to respond. She did. I now have this craving to send her a text asking her out for coffee or a date. Im fighting it off.

 

This sucks!

 

I did manage to have a date with this new person and both days i called her by my ex's name. Great !

 

You really shouldn't "date" other people when you're not over your ex. As you have seen, it is pointless and you're just using this person.

 

Go through your pain alone and get better before deciding to add someone else to your life.

 

 

I won't tell you not to ask your ex for coffee...and I don't know the story of your relationship and why it ended, but I will say that in reality, there are no mistakes and you learn from it. So to keep NC or not is not a big deal for me to drill into people as until you get to a point of TRUE conviction and determination within yourself....you will never really keep it or move forward. Only when something happens within your own life/self/soul/mind/heart is when things change for you and everyone gets to that final point in their own time.

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FearandLoathing Established Member

FearandLoathing

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Fear: awesome for you! Glad you're life is back on track! Wow, from the depths of despair, alcohol and wanting to die, to a happier life. Maybe you should post a similar thread on "Breaking Up" to give others hope.

 

Good suggestion, I think I will :) Thank you

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