jon3105 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 My recent girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me last week and I'm finding it so so difficult to get the picutre of her with another bloke out of my head. We had fallen into the trap of taking each other for granted, to the point where we'd argue almost every day. We realised this a little too late for her unfortunately. In the last week of our relationship I made every effort to take her out places rather than spend the night sat infront of the tv and talk more in general, and we got on really well. Then I got the "its not what I want, I feel like its too late, I just want to be on my own" talk. From past experience I know full well that NC is the way to go to get over someone. Shes broken no contact a couple times "because she wants to know Im ok". I responded bluntly saying I need her to leave me alone to get over her and that Im only interested in hearing from her if she realises shes made a mistake (I made a point of saying "and then IF I was still interested we could talk", to try not to seem like too much of a doormat). I've been out with friends a couple times since, not enjoying it really, but just trying to keep myself busy and take my mind off things. The problem is I've seen her out a few times, out with a group of blokes from her work. One of which she has become close to and he had apparently taken her out dress shopping and spent the day with her. I spoke to her last night upon seeing her out (hence knowing the above). She made a point of telling me, unprovoked, that if she sleeps with someone else now it wont mean anything, "it'll just be a rebound to help me get over you". I was just speechless, what was the need to tell me this? Im naturally a bit of a jealous person admittedly, so I'm finding the breakup extremely difficult. I know shes not right for me, everyone around me tells me to move on and that I can do better, but the idea of her in bed with someone else is tearing me apart and stopping any progression with healing. Is this normal? I know shes making it worse by teasing and leading those thoughts on, so I plan to give going out a break for a good while until this is over, but what advice do you all have to help block out these images? Should I seek counselling to help with my jealousy?
BigProc Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 No I think its natural to feel like that about someone you love. I recently broke up with my ex who I still love to pieces and i'm far from over her. I was trying to win her back and I found out from a mutual friend of ours that recently she sneaked out of her house late at night, met up with her ex and had sex with him in his car. When I found that out it was a Monday night and the feeling I had in bed that night and all through the following day was horrendous. All that week I was obsessing about it in my head, picturing her sneaking out for sex with him and them actually doing it,it was making me physically sick. That was about 2 week ago. Im still nowhere near over her, however that horrible feeling of her being with someone else is nowhere near as bad, I think its kind of a sub-concious exceptence of it. So I guess what im saying is, is that its natural to have those horrible thoughts. Its all part of the breaking up/healing process. Try to stick to nc, you have no future with this girl judging on your post. If you have mutual friends don,t make the mistake i made and try and find info on her. They will tell you something you dont want to hear. Move on gl you can do better.
earthfireuk Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Im there with you mate. My ex girlfriend broke up with me two months ago. We had been in some contact but she told me the other day she has been on a couple of dates with a guy. I can't stop thinking about her being with someone else. The pain is so hard to deal with. Especially at the weekends and nights when I think she could be with him... I guess its just part of the process though, its normal to think like this and I think we just need to ride it out and then we will start to feel better. Man hugs to you.
JamesB Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I think it's perfectly normal to have these thoughts and feelings. I'm in exactly the same place as you guys. I split with my ex 2 months ago and found out 2 weeks ago she'd been seeing someone else while with me and is now in a relationship with him. The first couple of days after I found out were unbearable. It was all I could think about and I was really depressed. But it gets better. You got to make a concious effort not to think about her, it's hard but you can do it. Occupy yourself with your friends or play some xbox or something, whatever takes your mind off it. Stay away from facebook and myspace and delete her as a friend. Every time you see her pop up on your newsfeed it will just depress you. You gotta go complete NC. All the best guys.
BigProc Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 James B I think I wrote that post lol. Thats exactly what i did, deleted her on fb. Playing loads and loads of xbox lol:laugh:
YellowShark Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Been there...done that...got the t-shirt. Here's two quotes I repeat when my mind goes "there": "She had sex before you met her... and she'll have sex after you're gone.... so will YOU!" "No matter how hot a girl is... some guy somewhere is sick of having sex with her..."
annabelle84 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I am in the same situation as you only 3 months later. My ex bf broke up with me after 5 years of being together. We fought a lot too and i heard the same bull**** speech o did.... for 6 hours (it took him 6 hours in a row to lay me off). We went NC right after (i begged him to take me back first). so far... so horrible! Last night i discovered that he is dating someone else. I called him to know who she was... which was pretty stupid too. he didn't want to talk. I asked him if he was afraid of what he might feel if he saw me and he that he wasn't. he told me that looking back that he didn't break up with me sooner because he was afraid. I asked " do you still have feelings for me?" and he answered that since he was dating somenoe new the answer was no. lol do you see where I am going with this? they dont deserve us. We must give them what they deserve a cold and silent blow to the face.
skydiveaddict Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 My recent girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me last week and I'm finding it so so difficult to get the picutre of her with another bloke out of my head. I know how you feel man. It sucks for me too but I WILL NOT play second string. If that's what she wants than she can go to hell. Same with you, don't take that crap from her.
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