FeelsLikeButterflies Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 So I met a very cute guy through my friend. I feel very silly asking this on here but I figure strangers will be more honest than my friends will. I'm about 3 years older than he is. I'm 29 he is 26. My friend throws a cook out-party every weekend. I just met her about 1 month ago at work, so its all her friends. This is the second time I attended and last night a friend of her boyfriends, caught my eye. There was some desert he brought and I was asking what it was, he than picks up a spoon with a piece on it and spoon feeds it to me. Through out the night he would come and sit by me, where most of the women were talking and hang out. He usually hangs out with the guys playing their stupid beer pong game. I would be in mid conversation with someone and every now and than catch him starring at me. I felt an attraction and hoped maybe he did too. A few times during the night he would come and put his hand on my back or shoulder. The two of us were drinking most of the night and by 2 am I had sobered up a little. I knew he was staying over that night because they were going golfing early the next morning. The party was ending and people were leaving at 2. I asked my friend if I could stay on the couch while I sobered up. I thought he was staying in the extra bedroom, but turns out he was gonna stay on the couch. So everyone else went to bed and him and I hung out in the living room and started watching tv. We started out at opposite ends and than just got closer and closer , my feet ended up in his lap and he gave me the most amazing foot massage EVER. So for about an hour we talked and watched tv and the couch we were laying on wasn't all the comfortable so he suggested we move over to the oversized chair (which I know was a move to get closer) So I ended up laying beside him with his arm around me. After a few minutes I don't know why but I planted a kiss on him. I immediately felt a little worried that maybe I shouldn't have been so forward and pulled back but than he pulled me closer and kissed me and we made out for like 15 minutes. I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't want it to go further (not sex, just more kissing or touching) cause I did. But he was very sweet and didn't try anything else.. After kissing for a little while he kinda pulled back and stopped suddenly. I didn't want to stop, lol. I started to feel a little rejected... that we stopped but I hoped maybe it was just because it was like 4am and he was tired? After a few minutes he started to fall asleep and I felt good enough to go home, so I left. My friend texted earlier today asking me what happened. I just told her we kissed, and she said when she saw him that morning, he was hung over and didn't say much. Her boyfriend and this guy are close so she told me that she will tell me if anything was said about last night. Why didn't he try to take it further?
zengirl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I can think of many reasons. Besides interest level/alcohol wearing off things, I can think of: 1. He was tired. Sometimes alcohol + being awake for so long just hits you, and you need to go to sleep. Granted, he probably would've stayed up to have sex, but not for an all-night make-out session. 2. He didn't want to get too "excited" and then not have sex. I'm always fairly careful about making out with a fellow too much before I'm ready to have sex. It does cause them some discomfort, from what I understand. Really, there's no way of knowing. Why sneak out in the middle of the night? Was he asleep? I'd never sneak out on a sleeping fellow if I actually liked him. I'd at least wake him up with a kiss to say goodbye or something.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I can think of many reasons. Besides interest level/alcohol wearing off things, I can think of: 1. He was tired. Sometimes alcohol + being awake for so long just hits you, and you need to go to sleep. Granted, he probably would've stayed up to have sex, but not for an all-night make-out session. 2. He didn't want to get too "excited" and then not have sex. I'm always fairly careful about making out with a fellow too much before I'm ready to have sex. It does cause them some discomfort, from what I understand. Really, there's no way of knowing. Why sneak out in the middle of the night? Was he asleep? I'd never sneak out on a sleeping fellow if I actually liked him. I'd at least wake him up with a kiss to say goodbye or something. I agree with this but you forgot to add that maybe hes just a gentlemen and didn't want to take advantage of her.
meerkat stew Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Who knows, drunk, 4AM, maybe your feet stink and the smell on his hands turned him off Seriously though, which would make you complain more, that he pushed too much for sex, or too little? Be happy you had a romantic late night moment with a man you find attractive and just take it for what it is instead of trying to analyze all the fun out of it!
zengirl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I agree with this but you forgot to add that maybe hes just a gentlemen and didn't want to take advantage of her. Oh, true! But I thought maybe that had been established, since the OP mentioned she didn't want to sleep with him anyhow.
K'aycie Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 It could be that he's a gentleman . Or it could be because he is pretending to be a gentleman, and he's really not. Anyhoot, too soon to say. Seems like you had a nice time together.
jamesum Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 This is just a non-issue story. I bet you just wanna share with the rest of the world. Try Twitter next time.
GordonDarkfoot Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 (edited) Maybe the whole making out part was just some courtesy tongue on his part, but when he sobered up a little, he got terrified that you might mistakenly believe now you're his "girlfriend." Edited August 9, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Chinook Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 FLB, it just sounds like a mix of being drunk, nervous and being a nice bloke.
GordonDarkfoot Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 ok, thanks for your opinion OK I'll admit I was being a wise@ss. Actually my real opinion is that this dude is looking at you as "girlfriend material" not "hookup" material and didn't want to blow it by being too physically aggressive under circumstances like that. Making out with you was more than sufficient to let you know he really really likes you. (All the attention he was paying you before that confirms that he was really into you.) However trying to "beyond that" may have risked you getting offended at him and he didn't want to risk that. Of course he's probably ALSO second guessing himself right now, thinking: Gee maybe I wasn't aggressive enough? Bottom line is I think he likes you a lot, didn't want to "go to fast" and possibly blow it. So I think if you really like this guy you need to go out on a date with him now, be nice to him, encourage him without throwing yourself at him.
carhill Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Why didn't he try to take it further? When he asks you out on a *date*, this is a great question to ask him. A healthy guy will give you a straightforward and clear response. My personal response would be I would have felt like I was taking *advantage* of what I perceived to be your inebriated state and/or the circumstances surrounding our interaction and feel it's disrespectful to do so. This perspective exists exclusively of my potential desire to marry you (exaggeration) or even date you. It applies to all ladies. YMMV Good luck. He knows how to get hold of you.
alexlakeman Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Maybe he didn't have any viagra on him? Maybe he was being a gentleman? Maybe he didn't want to seem tooo pushy the first time (something I might do myself)? Maybe, umm, he respected that he was in the living area of someone else's house? Maybe your not his type and just wanted to kiss? OR, really, putting myself in his place ( i was just like that last night), he was tired, had too much to drink and wasn't in the mood...
Serenitynow Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Why didn't he try to take it further? This is more proof of what I've been saying for months. If he tries to make moves he's a pig, only out for himself If he shows restraint and respect, the girls questions his intentions When are women going to wake up and admit the double standard. You complain no matter WHAT the guy does. .
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 we made out for like 15 minutes. I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't want it to go further (not sex, just more kissing or touching) cause I did.? he kinda pulled back and stopped suddenly. I didn't want to stop, lol. I'm actually happy he didn't try more. Total contradiction to your two comments above. But my surprise comes from dating jerks. I have been wanting to meet a respectful guy for a long time. [/Quote] So making out with a guy you just met, and wanting it to go further (kissing and touching) is your way of weeding out the jerks ? .
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Good for you admitting that and not being like so many other people and arguing with me. All I'm saying is too many women jump into physical situations with a guy when they KNOW the chances of a ltr is slim, but then they blame the guy for hitn n quitn it, when the female is just as much to blame in most situations. Women like sex, and they like to fool around, but they have to cover their back and block being labeled, and the easiet way out is to cry and blame the big bad wolf for taking advantage of the innocent naive little girl. If you want a relationship to last, then stop giving the impression you are looking to fool around for the night. Theres nothing wrong with women having fun, but you cant have fun AND expect the guy to be looking for a LTR. Too many women assume physical contact = he wants to date me .
Brady_to_Moss Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I have been wanting to meet a respectful guy for a long time Every girl in the world says this..and i want a nice guy..then when one comes along they complain that hes not good enough..not saying this is you..but just in general.
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 ] I feel that a kiss is very innocent. Wow dont say that too loud around here, you might get attacked by some of the other females.
stuck with eharmony Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 My guess is because he was at someone else's house and didn't want things to go further since he was a guess or option b, he didn't want anything to disturb his mental state for his golf game the next morning.
Author FeelsLikeButterflies Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 My guess is because he was at someone else's house and didn't want things to go further since he was a guess or option b, he didn't want anything to disturb his mental state for his golf game the next morning. I feel pretty silly not thinking about us both being guests.
K'aycie Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 My guess is because he was at someone else's house and didn't want things to go further since he was a guess or option b, he didn't want anything to disturb his mental state for his golf game the next morning. That's a solid point. You are both guests at someone's house, and especially if you are good friends with them, a kissy should be all.
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) I feel pretty silly not thinking about us both being guests. I think you need professional help. . Edited August 9, 2010 by Serenitynow
mr.dream merchant Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 There's a couple things he could be thinking right now, considering you two just met and all of that happened. Some good, some bad. Point is, I, you, these other jerks on LS have no idea. He does though, you know, since the ball is in his court now. He'll contact you, either for a hot piece of easy ass or a date with a nice girl. Both ideas he's possibly playing with in his head right now.
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