bluz73 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I am back after a month or so of doing pretty good..I am wondering if what I am feeling is normal or am I back to square one? So the ex and I have been split 2 months shy of a year and he been with his new teenager girlfriend ever since, well I got the news 2 days ago that she is now 1 month pregnant. At first I laughed cause why on earth would you at that age have a kid when you could go to college and neither of them have good jobs..and I thought of how hard its going to be for them both and how fat she is going to get. But today, it is bothering me a bit that, He completely rushed his whole relationship with this girl, to the point of having a kid within 10 mths of knowing her and I guess I am sad cause this is not the guy I remember, he always said he would want a good income before having a kid. So if they planned this baby, they are both fools, but if not I am wondering if she done this to trap him..but it shouldnt matter, but Why do feel all awkward about this. I really could never be with him again, its just he is really gone now and even a hello how are you someday is impossible. Anyone else ever hear this typeof news and how did you feel?
mannpho Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 First thing NC and that isnt easy. I deal with it everday and Im a wreck. If they had loved us all the shot we are going through wouldnt be the case. I still feel and posted many times. They have left so much damage behind that in a way they dont deserve us anyway. Try to be strong, I can barely do it. Try talking to friends, try posting as much as you can here.It has helped me a bit. Keep posting here since friends are tired of us bitching. When they wear our shoes they understand what misery we are in. Ive stopped speaking to my friends about my ex and simply withdrawn in a safe place in my mind. Go to a park by yourself and walk. Go to a safe place in your mind and let all your thoughts go wild. Eventually the mond will get tired and stop playing all these games and fantasies.
Angel1111 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 He's probably not the one who rushed it. Getting pregnant seems like something a teenager would pull in order to trap a guy she might suspect she's losing. If she has done this, then they won't last long. And even if they do last, they'll most likely have a lot of problems. They both have made a huge mistake by not going to college and concentrating on bettering their futures. Children consume a person's live like nothing else can. It's too bad they have chosen this path. It's normal to think about things like this with exes. Usually for me, it takes about 2 yrs to fully get over someone that I really loved. This news would make me feel sad, too, if I were you. I'm sorry it happened.
Author bluz73 Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 He's probably not the one who rushed it. Getting pregnant seems like something a teenager would pull in order to trap a guy she might suspect she's losing. If she has done this, then they won't last long. And even if they do last, they'll most likely have a lot of problems. They both have made a huge mistake by not going to college and concentrating on bettering their futures. Children consume a person's live like nothing else can. It's too bad they have chosen this path. It's normal to think about things like this with exes. Usually for me, it takes about 2 yrs to fully get over someone that I really loved. This news would make me feel sad, too, if I were you. I'm sorry it happened. Thank you, STUPID me after months of not looking looked at their open Facebook pages..I know I know, I heard it before FB is bad..I cant imagine a grown man willingly being okay with having a baby without a solid life for it then again he is acting out of character. So I am thinking he may have been okay with it. Prob figures this is his only chance at a woman wanting him , he may just settle with her...I mean you go 10 months without getting knocked up to knocked up she had to stop her birth control. The weird thing about it is she has been bragging all over facebook about it and telling names she picked already..but his Facebook...QUIET..no shout out s "hey im gonna be a dad" quite odd..but then again, i read way to much into things.. Nevertheless, my hopes of them splitting and him calling me to say he was atleast sorry for what he done..is never going to happen, thats why I am sad, I am smarter to have not have had a child with him for 6 years cause he wasnt stable, so I dont regret that. I just am shocked he went from a long term relationship to a teenager, living together, now a baby, and didnt even get engaged first or married????? wow
Angel1111 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 It may or may not be odd that he got together with a teenager - how old is he?
Author bluz73 Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 It may or may not be odd that he got together with a teenager - how old is he? he is 31 almost 32..I just dont get why the sudden rush of things with this man. I thought he had some brains!
LoveTruthChaos Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Ah sweetie, like I said in the 'Post here instead of contacting your ex' thread, your story is heroic to me. Don't you see? This is his KARMA!!!! This is what he deserved all along! You were meant to see it all go down with him! Sounds like she's into the idea, and he's not. I dont' think you're reading too much into it at all. He's obviously not very excited about the whole thing. That's the thing aobut guys - they're not that hard to understand. It does kinda sound like she's trapped him, from the way she's reacted about names and things. Dont' worry bout it - this is the beginning of the end for him. When a guy throws away all his beliefs and ideals - that's a downward spiral. chin up hun
Angel1111 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 he is 31 almost 32..I just dont get why the sudden rush of things with this man. I thought he had some brains! Yea, that's just gross. I think I'd lose respect for a guy who did that.
bonpaw2008 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Thank you, STUPID me after months of not looking looked at their open Facebook pages..I know I know, I heard it before FB is bad..I cant imagine a grown man willingly being okay with having a baby without a solid life for it then again he is acting out of character. So I am thinking he may have been okay with it. Prob figures this is his only chance at a woman wanting him , he may just settle with her...I mean you go 10 months without getting knocked up to knocked up she had to stop her birth control. The weird thing about it is she has been bragging all over facebook about it and telling names she picked already..but his Facebook...QUIET..no shout out s "hey im gonna be a dad" quite odd..but then again, i read way to much into things.. Nevertheless, my hopes of them splitting and him calling me to say he was atleast sorry for what he done..is never going to happen, thats why I am sad, I am smarter to have not have had a child with him for 6 years cause he wasnt stable, so I dont regret that. I just am shocked he went from a long term relationship to a teenager, living together, now a baby, and didnt even get engaged first or married????? wow It is really hard to see them move on, so yes this is totally normal to feel this way. You are not back at square one, it is supposed to sting a bit, closes another door and makes you realize that any hope that he would come to his senses and get away from this girl is gone. You have to start looking at it like you dodged a bullet. A 32 year old that gets with a young girl like that has issues, so thank goodness those aren't your issues to deal with anymore!!! If I was looking at the situation, him not mentioning anything about the baby, she trapped him and he is scared, ready to bolt. But like everything else, this is not your problem. No more stalking it can only cause you pain or get you hooked again. Move on and know that you are heading for such a better life than what he is in store for...
Author bluz73 Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 It is really hard to see them move on, so yes this is totally normal to feel this way. You are not back at square one, it is supposed to sting a bit, closes another door and makes you realize that any hope that he would come to his senses and get away from this girl is gone. You have to start looking at it like you dodged a bullet. A 32 year old that gets with a young girl like that has issues, so thank goodness those aren't your issues to deal with anymore!!! If I was looking at the situation, him not mentioning anything about the baby, she trapped him and he is scared, ready to bolt. But like everything else, this is not your problem. No more stalking it can only cause you pain or get you hooked again. Move on and know that you are heading for such a better life than what he is in store for... I guess what hurts the most is how it all happened, how he went straight from me to her without dating other girls first, he just snagged her up and she needed a place to live so she moved in and within a year she gets pregnant. Its like he was desperate but I kinda expected things to go sour and him to realize how foolish he is or her to be smarter and want to have college and the partying out of her system before settling. I dont know if he is scared I think he is in an immature mindset that its going to be easy or hey he got a girl forever now since she is havinghis kid. Another thing is they probablly expect their parents to help pay for the baby since it will be the first grandchild on both sides. I only wish my kids werent friends with people she knows to hear theses stories. I can only guess the outcome from exp and statistics of being a young mother myself, but it does sting to know 1 year ago he loved me and made plans with me
LoveTruthChaos Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 but it does sting to know 1 year ago he loved me and made plans with me And now he's left you alone and ruined someone else's life. Hooray!
DenverBachelor Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You dodged a bullet. They're in a looming disaster. Despite everything, I feel bad for the kid.
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