BrkHeart Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 So, this might take a while to write ... My girlfriend and I of just 3+ years moved in together, she had some personal issues with family, friends, and being so far away from them. She was having a hard time with finding a job in the new town, was really strapped for cash. She was visiting them for a weekend, came home and I picked her up at the airport and she seemed a bit cold. I tried to give her a kiss but I got the cheek. A day later she told me that she wanted to move back to her parents to figure things out and get on her own feet. (She is 30) 2 days later she was gone. We didn't really talk for those 2 days, I was SOOO crushed and it seemed so out of the blue that I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her. Oh and her parents live over 10+ hours away. She left me a nice note when I got home after she moved out (I knew she was leaving and asked her is she wanted me to help but she said she thought might be too painful.) It was a very normal note except the last line (I'll let you know when get to the next step). I see that and think ok she needs some space, maybe figure things out. I told myself I would not contact her and wait for her to get in-touch with me. About a week later we have a quick im conversation where she started with saying she was checking in to see how I was doing, of course all this did was get me fantasizing about things I know are probably not reel. I asked her to do me a favor and not contact me, I was still really hurt and wanted to be left alone, she said she understood, I said I thought some time apart would be a good thing and she agreed. She is a believer in if it is meant to be, it will. I can not subscribe to that, I believe that things take hard work, and only then will you get what you deserve. So 2 days later I broke down, send a quick message and we had a fast conversation, it ended on she needed to head out and we would talk later. Of course I fantasize about things again. I have told myself not to contact her, I even hung signs all over the house saying leave her be. She was always an independent women, even when we were together we really only saw each others 3 days week, but talked every day. I have thought and realized a great deal of things about myself the last two weeks, and am trying not hold out any hope that there might be something between us in the future, but that line in the note ... it just keeps coming back to me ... does anyone think she just needs some space, etc or she is just trying to let me down gently. Any thoughts appreciated. I feel like if we could be back together, I would make the effort to try, we are both hopeless romantics, I know that is one of the things we loved about each other.
Angel1111 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 (edited) This is a fine line to balance but you may want to be careful about being too distant. Sometimes a woman wants to know that a guy will fight for her and do whatever it takes to get her back. In her case, I don't know what's up because she left very abruptly, and moving 10+ hrs away to get her feet on the ground isn't a good sign. Also, believe it or not, living together is a bad move. No matter how much she might insist that it's a good idea, there is always that underlying message that says you're not quite committed enough to just marry her. The flip side of that is that the two of you may not have had a good relationship and she realized that while she was away she was happier without you. Only you know the answer to this because I don't know the general atmosphere of your relationship with her. But something is seriously wrong for her to disappear that quckly, and it's hard to believe that this just came out of the blue. When she mentioned to you that she didn't like being so far from her family, did you ever discuss moving back there? Is that an option? Honestly I can understand her feeling this way about being closer to her family but I have to wonder what motivated her to move so far away in the first place. Edited August 8, 2010 by Angel1111
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