SpookCity Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I figured I might as well come out and ask for some input on this, since I'm a little unsure of what is going on or what should be done about it. A little background info about myself... I'm 27, and used to be married. My husband and I split ways about 4 years ago, but never officially signed any papers. We are still on good terms and do hang out every other week or so. So, onto my situation... I started work at this company 3 years ago, and since day one, I've found this one guy there attractive. Usually we didn't do more than just chit chat once or twice a night, but that's changed recently. Within the past few months, he's started to come and hang out in my department while he's supposed to be working, and vice versa. Everytime he passes by, I catch him looking at me. We get into these playful teasing sessions nearly every night. He's been coming outside at breaks and sitting near me, even though he doesn't smoke. He's even offered to drive me home nearly every night we're both in. Now, don't get me wrong I don't mind the attention I'm getting at all... Coupled with my recent weight loss, it's doing wonders for my confidence. I'm just wondering if it's all in my head because I've found him attractive for so long, or if it sounds like there's something stirring up on his end as well. We have a lot in common, and we have good conversations, so I don't really think that if we went out for dinner or something it'd be weird, but I don't really want to ask if I'm just misreading things. Any thoughts on what might be happening here? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? And, if there's is something there... Any tips on how to go about asking him out somewhere? It's been nearly 8 years since I've had to flirt or ask anyone out, so I'm not totally sure what to do... Haha Anyways, any help or advice or pointers or just thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated...
denise_xo Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I figured I might as well come out and ask for some input on this, since I'm a little unsure of what is going on or what should be done about it. A little background info about myself... I'm 27, and used to be married. My husband and I split ways about 4 years ago, but never officially signed any papers. We are still on good terms and do hang out every other week or so. So, onto my situation... I started work at this company 3 years ago, and since day one, I've found this one guy there attractive. Usually we didn't do more than just chit chat once or twice a night, but that's changed recently. Within the past few months, he's started to come and hang out in my department while he's supposed to be working, and vice versa. Everytime he passes by, I catch him looking at me. We get into these playful teasing sessions nearly every night. He's been coming outside at breaks and sitting near me, even though he doesn't smoke. He's even offered to drive me home nearly every night we're both in. Now, don't get me wrong I don't mind the attention I'm getting at all... Coupled with my recent weight loss, it's doing wonders for my confidence. I'm just wondering if it's all in my head because I've found him attractive for so long, or if it sounds like there's something stirring up on his end as well. We have a lot in common, and we have good conversations, so I don't really think that if we went out for dinner or something it'd be weird, but I don't really want to ask if I'm just misreading things. Any thoughts on what might be happening here? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? And, if there's is something there... Any tips on how to go about asking him out somewhere? It's been nearly 8 years since I've had to flirt or ask anyone out, so I'm not totally sure what to do... Haha Anyways, any help or advice or pointers or just thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated... From your description the guy seems interested at some kind of level. IME, when I think I sense interest on the part of a man, I am usually right and I think you should trust your gut instinct - but I'm a bit older than you and this ability to tune into people is something I've developed over time and I'm better at it now than I was ten or fifteen years ago (I have definitely made a couple of misjudgements, too :-/). If you're still worried about asking him out on a dinner date, why don't you start by inviting him to some kind of event where more people will be around? As in 'I'm going to this gig/ movie/ whatever with a couple of friends, would you like to come along' type of thing.
sloudrou Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I personally think co-workers are the worst people to have relationships with. For one thing, what are you going to do if/when you break-up, and you still have to see the other person virtually every day? How will it affect your performance at work? Sure, co-workers are good to talk to and maybe see occasionally as friends, but you're better off keeping your serious relationships to people you know outside of work.
denise_xo Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I personally think co-workers are the worst people to have relationships with. For one thing, what are you going to do if/when you break-up, and you still have to see the other person virtually every day? How will it affect your performance at work? Sure, co-workers are good to talk to and maybe see occasionally as friends, but you're better off keeping your serious relationships to people you know outside of work. I agree with you in principle, but (depending on where you work) work can also be a significant arena for meeting people. It certainly has to be thought through and managed carefully. From the OP's post, it sounds like they are not doing their every day work together/ having to collaborate closely. I met my man at work and we continued working together for two years. While it was a pain in the a#¤ to work and sit in meetings together on days when we were having major arguments, I'm glad we went through with it.
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