annabelle84 Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 hey! i just found out over facebook that my ex (who broke up with me 3 months ago and we dated 5 years) has a new gf. i feel terribel. i wanna cry. how do you deal? wasn't this to soon for him? is it the so called rebound? do rebounds last? I need confort words. Pls
EthanH Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 (edited) I know exactly how you are feeling, but unfortunately, what you DO NOT need atm is comfort words! When I say that, I say it coming from a position of understanding exactly why you say that, I have craved such words before on here, and the reality is, there is nothing anyone on here can say really about what he is doing to make you feel better. And apart from anything, how would we know if it was a rebound? So I guess all I can do is give you some advice based on what i think is best for YOU. 1) don't look at his facebook! What do you honestly think it is going to do apart from potentially upset you? Do you expect him to change his status to how much he misses you and change his profile pic to a couple pic of you? Of course he isn't and if he did think that, why would you want to see any of that... as it means nothing until he knocks on your door and tells you he would do anything to be with you. Looking at his facebook is a bad idea in your situation, you have to see that. And if you continue to do it, no matter how much you know it is only going to bring upset and pain, frankly, it is your own fault. 2) IF he is with someone else, it is pointless to think about why or how or if he is thinking of you etc. If he was with you for 5 years, it probably is a rebound, but don't you see... it doesn't matter, as whether it is or not doesn't change your situation! It is all just pointless prevarication. So thinking such thoughts is essentially just wasting your time. Don't let this guy waste any more of your time or thoughts, as at the moment, even if he does miss you or something, it means NOTHING while he is still not telling he wants you back. So thinking about what might be is totally worthless. What is worthwhile is to think about yourself. To build your confidence up again. The utopia for me, and it should be for anyone on these forums is to get to a place where you wouldn't really care if they asked you back, but you could make a logical decision to get back with them if they did, if you thought it was worth it and something which would make you happy. I know that is a long way off (as it is for me) but I get excited to think of being in that situation. I think you should too. The only way to get over this is to get more confidence and start to accept that you are ok on your own. Only then should you even consider someone else. I know that seems to be totally out with reality... but it will happen... you just need to give it time. Spend time with friends, take up new pursuits, get your life on track, everything you do should be aimed at working for you, not anyone else... you... and eventually, you will meet someone. A lot of people say that on these forums, I have had it said to me so many times, and every time i rebel against it, but ultimately, it is true. Edited August 7, 2010 by EthanH
TaraMaiden Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 hey! i just found out over facebook that my ex (who broke up with me 3 months ago and we dated 5 years) has a new gf. i feel terribel. i wanna cry. Unfortunately, that's how things go. Cry if you think it will make you feel better. Unfortunately, it won't. And it won't change the fact he has a new GF either, so maybe you owe it to yourself to NOT cry over him..... how do you deal? You accept the fact that this was absolutely completely his right to do, as it would be, if you found a new BF. It's not meant to sound harsh, but this is none of your business. You deal with it, by seeing it, and knowing that there's no reason why he shouldn't do this. You're broken up. He's moving on. wasn't this to soon for him? No, obviously not. If he's found a GF, then it's not too soon. It's fine by him. It's 'too soon' for you. But it's not your call, hun... is it the so called rebound? Maybe....Who knows? Why care? it's nothing to do with you, or anyone else, for that matter..... do rebounds last? Sometimes they do. My rebound lasted 23 years of marriage, but when I met him, it was definitely a re-bound. I need confort words. Pls I'm sure you do, sweet, but you also need a wake-up call. It's over, and he can lead whatever life he wants. you need to delete him off FB and not go on there for a good long while. It does you no good to keep checking his status, it's like turning a knife in your own stomach. Everyone curses FB, but it's not FB that's the problem. It's the people who insist on checking FB.... You're going to have to let this one go - and go get some yourself. That's your right.....
GrayClouds Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 hey! i just found out over facebook that my ex (who broke up with me 3 months ago and we dated 5 years) has a new gf. i feel terribel. i wanna cry. how do you deal? wasn't this to soon for him? is it the so called rebound? do rebounds last? I need confort words. Pls It may not be comforting, but you are one of the lucky ones, a good bunch of the EX get the new GF/BF before they even break up.
Author annabelle84 Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 It may not be comforting, but you are one of the lucky ones, a good bunch of the EX get the new GF/BF before they even break up. well i still dont know who the girl is, but i am pretty much guessing who she might be. there was this girl that was causing problems within our relationship. he spoke to her way much more than he spoke to me. I am starting to think that this might be it. last night the stupid me called him and he was the most absolute *******. Dont worry i knew what to expect. that he wouldn't talk much. but i was polite to him and was beyond rude with me. he said that looking back he didn't break up with me sooner due to complacency... among other things he said... iam tired of this. if only i had a switch to turn this of. just to think that i made life plan with this person and he said he would never leave me, never stop loving me and would always fight for me. and now... here we are.... here i am. I want to love again though... and soon.
moosegreen Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 the thing i do to get over someone is get rid of them from your life ...like get rid of there number from your phone..msn...facebook and find a hobbie wether it be playing video games to goin dirtbikein something to keep your mind busy...and most importin hang out with your firends and or make new ones
spriggig Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I'm glad I didn't marry him. Good thing we didn't have kids together. It's clear now that he's not going to come back to me. It's time for me to move on too. I'm not going to tell you to stop seeking out information about him, although that would be ideal. I do suggest that you take some time now to vividly imagine the next thing you might hear about him. For instance, that he is engaged or expecting a baby. Do this on your terms on the weekend or when you're alone so that if/when you get the news, for instance when you're at work or on vacation, you can deal with it more calmly.
Justme2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 It may not be comforting, but you are one of the lucky ones, a good bunch of the EX get the new GF/BF before they even break up. I agree. Mine had a "girlfriend" for 6 months before he moved out and I found out about her. To OP: Yes, delete him from Facebook and from your cell phone. It will be easier for you in the long run.
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