sbradford2 Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 My kids father moved right around the corner from me. I am unemployed and he knows that I am struggling to pay the bills. He told me that on his payday he will give me $100 to pay the light bill and now he tells me that he only has $30. He does not come around and I know at this point he does not love me anymore. But I am unsure of what to do. He does not want me to go to child support to let them know that he is working because he says that I am trying to mess him up. I do want us to get back together but I feel that if I go to child support it will make him hate me even more. I am so confused.
Justme2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 If you are struggling to make ends meet, I would go after him for child support. Whether or not you all get back together, he has an obligation to support his children.
whichwayisup Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 My kids father moved right around the corner from me. I am unemployed and he knows that I am struggling to pay the bills. He told me that on his payday he will give me $100 to pay the light bill and now he tells me that he only has $30. He does not come around and I know at this point he does not love me anymore. But I am unsure of what to do. He does not want me to go to child support to let them know that he is working because he says that I am trying to mess him up. I do want us to get back together but I feel that if I go to child support it will make him hate me even more. I am so confused. He OWES you child support - As their father he should do this!
2sunny Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 the only one you can control is you. file papers through the court to have support ordered. get a job, ANY job, some money is better than none. look for opportunities to work - babysit, dog sit, dog walk, anything. take anything offered to you.
spriggig Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 He won't hate you for sticking up for yourself. Keep him up to date on your efforts to do better for yourself and he'll respect you and be more likely to help. In addition to a moral obligation, he is legally required to help support his children. Google "child support enforcement (your state)" for some specific help on this.
BetweenHere&There Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 You should really file the paperwork and get it going through the court system. He can tell you he is going to pay, but that doesn't hold water for when he doesn't and certainly doesn't help you. My ex told me he was going to pay, then decided to with hold payments until I filed a separation agreement and child custody papers. Basically, he wanted his freedom but didn't want to pay for it. I now have papers through the court that doubled what he was giving me under a verbal agreement. Currently, things have been amicable and we are each taking our own financial responsibilities where our child is concerned...we split custody and each do for the child instead of going after each other for money. While it is working for us, I do not recommend anyone who cannot support themselves entirely to do that. I still have the court papers if something gets ugly...but I choose not to enforce them right now. If you can't afford an attorney, you can usually file a complaint through the county magistrate, typically very little cost associated with that. Even your local children's advocate facilities can help and can obtain legal representation for you.
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