Author smk Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 Yeah I know - it's what We need to do - just throw our hands up in the air and let go.... Am on my to your thread as we speak.... I looked at her FB last nite...
Username37 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Yeah I know - it's what We need to do - just throw our hands up in the air and let go.... Am on my to your thread as we speak.... I looked at her FB last nite... Oh geez man. I looked at her FB recently too. Still restricted. She looks...happy.
bonpaw2008 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Oh geez man. I looked at her FB recently too. Still restricted. She looks...happy. I haven't been on FB for more than a few seconds in weeks. I can't trust myself, I took him off mine but his profile is wide open, I don't want to see that he is moving on, the stupid twitty girls he has friended, etc. FB is evil....
GrayClouds Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 @ GC - I know I really should give up the juice - it's not doing me any favours... I guess it does come down to reinforcing my self-control... I won't lie I do still have moments where I fall down, where I do end up wrapping myself and getting consumed by the memories of what we once shared, and some days it seems to be easier to not let the past consume me, where as other days it's a little more difficult... I am beggining to think that I am afraid of letting go for some reason... There are always going to be ups and down in the process. Just understand booze just makes the down a bit lower and longer. But remember when the down days hit, you know know there will be easier days ahead. When you get those consuming thoughts try to understand what they are telling you, the ex is the symbol of what you are wanting. Sometimes they represents loneliness, fear, sadness, boredom, stress, or being tired. It is not about them but no matter what the emotion is our heads go to them looking for an easy solution. If you take the effort to understand the emotion behind the thoughts then you can do something to address the real need rather then being stuck. If you are thinking of the EX and it really is about being lonely, then call a friend, if it is sadness go for a run, if it being tired get a good night sleep. The better you get a this no more once again you understand it is not about them but about taking care of yourself and your needs. Your doing well, do not let the occasional bump slow you down to much.
Author smk Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 I generally stay away from FB but last night I could resist looking at her pic... Not good but it actually showed me that it seems she is going back to her old ways of being outta control... GC - I am working on that and have now had a bet that as of Monday I am off the juice till after my run... So that should be fun.... I am letting the thoughts just ride through, sometimes they do get a little overwhelming but I am just trying to live my life as normal , and getting to live the life I want to live... What you say makes sense, I do seem to be associating the things I am feeling to her and as te days go by I am slowly trying to disassociate them with her...
bonpaw2008 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I generally stay away from FB but last night I could resist looking at her pic... Not good but it actually showed me that it seems she is going back to her old ways of being outta control... GC - I am working on that and have now had a bet that as of Monday I am off the juice till after my run... So that should be fun.... I am letting the thoughts just ride through, sometimes they do get a little overwhelming but I am just trying to live my life as normal , and getting to live the life I want to live... What you say makes sense, I do seem to be associating the things I am feeling to her and as te days go by I am slowly trying to disassociate them with her... We need to get you a new thread with a new name and let this one die out
mannpho Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I read all the posts here for some inspiration and encouragemnt. Sometimes it helps most of the times it hurts so much we all that deep pain. I have gone out on some dates and all I seem to do at times and I try I rally try is call her the date with the ex's name. I just got back from a day out with a person and all I was thinking of was my ex. The gal was very quite, very little conversation but twice I called her Maria. Im here posting and all I can think of is sending her a text. I did manage to mail heday card and yes she surprised me and sent me a text back saying it was nice and thank you. Of course my feelings and anxiety were off the charts. Does she want to talk? It never expected a reply I prayed she would and that we should talk. I guess she was just being cordial considering what she said to me all through my pathetic attempts to win her back for another chance. When does one just give up and accept the fact they dont want us? This is such a game, NC avoid contact, work on oneself, tell your self your not the blame, they chose this path to dump us. Im hurting so much as we all are so I decided to post here.
rumrunner63 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I feel for you...last year when I was headed for divorce the FIRST person my ex dated was guy who I'd been friends with for 25 years. He's well known in this small area as a cad, cheater etc....it CRUSHED me. Fast forward and after 3 failed attempts at reconciling initiated by my ex she has now been parading her latest FB's thru the office once a week. It's pathetic BUT that said it no longer phases me because I'm looking at her as some sort of slut now rather than someone I once worshipped. It took time for sure. Even yesterday she dragged a guy into my office and I was very cordial, even shook his hand. He can HAVE the nutty bitch. Hate has never been an emotion I have subscribed to but now........
silic0ntoad Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 These feelings will fade. I did the same, I didn't bury the idea. I let my anger crush the thoughts of her with another man. I realised that for me, with that lust came enduring pain, and that was enough for me to laugh dryly in the face of this coming storm- let him have her, touch her, sleep with her. At least his pain is just beginning, and mine is fading. This, too, shall pass, with each day. SMK, remember, day by day. It's no longer a planning phase of your life. It's a coping phase. And you cope day by day bro.
Author smk Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 I just let the thoughts ride through like everyone said to... And I am glad I did, cos it just makes me realise more and more each day that she left, she gave up, so let her do what she wants....
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