Just ridiculous Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 I asked him with all of the evidence of hiding things, how could I not think he was cheating? He says he is not, he has just felt alone in his home for over two years. Still doesn't explain why he decided to take his laptop to work and hide his Blackberry. Whatever, I have given all of myself, more than he deserved, and it still wasn't enough. We both agreed we want some time apart, with him staying in the home in another bedroom, continuing to pay all bills, and each of us attending separate therapists to determine where we want to go by this time next year. I told him I want his promise to stay and continue to pay for me and our daughter in writing, and I will also promise to stay in the home and not clean out our savings and checking accounts during this time. He said he wants us to create separate checking accounts and he will still continue to pay bills. I told him I need to speak with an attorney about it. He got angry and accused me of not letting him protect his interests too. Bull, I got interests too, so I want to speak with an attorney before any new financial decisions are made. I encouraged him to find one to speak with too. I have my first appointment next week, so I will see what I need to do to make this separation work, but protect my own interests also. I still think he wants a new account so his dating charges don't show up. I asked him if we were putting dating on the don't do list, (I really don't know if dating while supposedly trying to fix a marriage is a great idea, but you don't know how someone else feels until you ask) and he said "I AM NOT OPPOSED TO IT"! Not opposed to it, only because you have someone in mind. I told him I am, and he said he just doesn't want to promise something and break it later on. Again, bull****. So, I have come to a decision. **** him. I will live here and be supported by him, get my part time job, continue college, take care of our disabled daughter without having to place her in daycare, and when the time comes, we will legally separate and divorce. I believe at this time the fear of infidelity becoming public knowledge and my taking our daughter out of state keeps him from rocking the boat too much, ie, not paying bills. That will not likely last, but for now, I am working on getting a job, I have a new semester of school starting, and will put the 180 plan into action. My anger is saved for venting with my therapist, which I will make use of, so I can work through this divorce healthier, and I will take care of most of my medical and dental needs at this time as well. I hope my attorney has a good plan, and I will continue to share with ya'll as this progresses. Thanks again for all of your help.
You Go Girl Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Look out for yourself, definitely. Whatever your H hides his computer and cell phone for, you can bet one thing: It has something to do with sex and other women.
whichwayisup Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 There is someone else. why the separate bank accounts? So you can't see what he's up to and what/who he spends his money on. , and each of us attending separate therapists No, use the same person and INSIST it be a marriage counsellor. Talk to a lawyer and protect yourself.
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