neversure Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 About 2 years ago, my husband and I started having problems again. Our marriage has always had ups and downs, but nontheless, we pulled through. Anyhow, he started coming home late after work. So cliche, but I quickly put together that he was going to strip clubs. The first few times he was caught of course he would apologize and say he would stop and he didn't. Instead he started to go more often, like 2 to 3 times a week, and was not so apologetic anymore. I would fight and plead with him. It really started to turn into a sick game. Finally, one night after a argument during bowling, I decieded to follow him to the club. I walked in and there he was on the couch drinking a beer with some chick by him with her arm around him seeming to be enthrolled by his presence. After that we argued and I left him the next morning. We were apart for 1 year. In the mean time we were seeing other people and the whole time he was begging me to come back. See we have been married for 10 years and have two children. So I decieded to go home. He promised that he was a changed man and he would not go back to the way he was. So with hope in my heart here I am. But now everyday I sit here and wonder. I wonder about, well, EVERYTHING!! Is he lying, what did he do today, what will he do tomorrow??? Am I happy? Is it worth it??? I guess my question is, when is enough enough??
qtegirl Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Hi. No doubt it's a stuff situation. I can't say I've been there but I'm sure this is very hard for you...and I'm sorry. What made you come back? If it's only for the kids...that's now always the right thing to do. Is it possible that by seeing other people you realized all the good things that made you fall in love on the first place. I've been through my owns relationship issues and I feel if you love someone and I mean really LOVE someone then everything can work out for the best. I believe that love CAN conquer all. It's for sure not easy to forget what he's done but you guys came back to each other for a reason. Don't stay together out of convenience because it will never work and the past will always be a problem. If you feel in your heart that he's being a good boy then he probably is. After 10 years I'm sure you know him like a book. Don't let your mind play tricks on you. I really hope things will work out for the better. Give your love a chance. You had a taste of what life was like without each other and now you're back together for a reason. Ask yourself what that reason is. If it's for convenience or just for the kids...I think enough is enough. Best of luck!
JRoy Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I guess my question is, when is enough enough?? :confused: I am posting here because I a going through something similar. Just when is enough - enough? And up front, I don't have the answer. Or maybe I just don't want to face the answer. My wife finds it easier to tell me a lie than the truth. No matter the problem, large or small. Big lie or little white lies. It seems when given the choice, she would rather lie. In her defense, I let her get away with it. Sounds kind of sick. I am just looking for some answers too. I know that doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is one definition for insanity. I am so very sorry for you. I know you are hurting. I hope you get a lot of feed back. I am going to stick with this thread and pray you do. Good luck.
Confused_in_canada Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I have come to realize in my own marriage that enough is enough. You can't be truly happy if you don't truly love him. My case I fell out of love by all the excuses and unhappiness. We're headed to Counseling tomorrow where I'm going to re-iterate that I just don't believe i can be truly happy with her. I've stayed around for the years because of the children, I do anything for my kids but, as time has gone on I've lost site of my Wife and don't think I can ever go back to her.... If you are truly happy then stick with it. Make each day special, make each day and adventure, by God life is too short and if you aren't happy then , "Enough is Enough. "
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