monkeywithagun Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 Thanks for reading my post. I really am in desperate need of all the help I can get. I am not married, I've been in a serious relationship for about 3 years now, in which we have had our ups and downs but have generally decided that we are sticking together and working through it all and eventually want to marry each other once we are both done with school. I want to make this work more then anything in the world. I have always been an extremely emotionally driven person, and I am just extremely attached to him and I do believe he is my soul mate if you look past all the bull****. During most of our relationship I have dealt with people telling me little rumors about him here and there... I have learned little things about his past that are just absolutely horrid. I haven't let that make it a deal breaker.. but it eats at me slowly. I constantly think of the things I heard and what he is capable of doing. It has been driving me nuts. I've spoken to him about it.. he doesnt open up. He promises me that it is just a rumor .. (obviously) and I try to let it go...but I cant sleep , I cant focus. I want to know the truth. Lately i've checked his phone. He has gotten a few messages from girls. The other night he had one at 5am from a strange number that read " hey hun, its becki .. i lost my phone so just text me here when you wake up".. today he had one from someone saved under on his phone i had never heard of she wrote " good luck:), i love you.. you will do great just relax" at 6am.. he really has nothing important to do today that I know of. Keep in mind we have lived together for 3 years and I know all of his close friends. I have never heard of either of these girls. Should I talk to him about it? Should i put a snooping device in his car? Should I contact the girls.? am I just going nuts and over reacting? I've tried talking before over texts I have seen and he just acts like I am crazy jealous and refuses to answer any questions.
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 What I would do in your case would be reverse those numbers online. Thats how I caught my man! Find as much info before going to him..as you know he'll just deny deny deny! If you cant get any info on the girls then call em up..at this point what have you got to lose? A cheating boyfriend? Hell thats better than a husband with kids and home and shared assets don't ya think?
2sunny Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 why would you want to stay with a man that corresponds on such intimate levels with lads of other women? it seems like a form of self torture... i wouldn't think twice - i'd dump him so fast - 3 years or 30 years - it doesn't matter...
Bryanp Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 It is well known that generally the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
CrayonAngel Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 I know it seems impossible because you love him..but if I were you I would RUUUUNNNNN!!! He sounds like a liar and a cheat!
Posh Polly Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 If you need irrefutable proof, snoop. But I think you already know the truth. You deserve better.
Maggotface Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I wouldnt leave him just yet, I mean the texts arnt that bad they're just very suspicious. I would definitly bring it up but whatever you do dont act all crazy it'll just make you look worse. Be calm when you ask him about the other girls and don't let him turn it around on you because you snooped, that's just a HUGE sign that he's only embarassed and mad because he got caught doing something bad. The most suspicious thing is that these girls are texting him so early.
Space Ritual Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Thanks for reading my post. I really am in desperate need of all the help I can get. I am not married, I've been in a serious relationship for about 3 years now, in which we have had our ups and downs but have generally decided that we are sticking together and working through it all and eventually want to marry each other once we are both done with school. I want to make this work more then anything in the world. I have always been an extremely emotionally driven person, and I am just extremely attached to him and I do believe he is my soul mate if you look past all the bull****. During most of our relationship I have dealt with people telling me little rumors about him here and there... I have learned little things about his past that are just absolutely horrid. I haven't let that make it a deal breaker.. but it eats at me slowly. I constantly think of the things I heard and what he is capable of doing. It has been driving me nuts. I've spoken to him about it.. he doesnt open up. He promises me that it is just a rumor .. (obviously) and I try to let it go...but I cant sleep , I cant focus. I want to know the truth. Lately i've checked his phone. He has gotten a few messages from girls. The other night he had one at 5am from a strange number that read " hey hun, its becki .. i lost my phone so just text me here when you wake up".. today he had one from someone saved under on his phone i had never heard of she wrote " good luck:), i love you.. you will do great just relax" at 6am.. he really has nothing important to do today that I know of. Keep in mind we have lived together for 3 years and I know all of his close friends. I have never heard of either of these girls. Should I talk to him about it? Should i put a snooping device in his car? Should I contact the girls.? am I just going nuts and over reacting? I've tried talking before over texts I have seen and he just acts like I am crazy jealous and refuses to answer any questions. Since there is a kernel of truth to just about any rumor, between those and now the text messages I submit to you that you have nowhere to go but downward with this relationship. If you feel you have to look at his texts and you see these types of things, why waste any more time? Soul Mate? Hardly....Soul mates don't text other women. If you want to be gaslighted and eventually made a fool of ask him....I am sure he will be more than happy to tell you that Becki and he are "just friends" or "I am helping them with her relationship problems and she had to seek my counsel at 5 in the morning". are you seriously going to buy that? lol...I certainly hope not. The Curb...find the nearest one and dump this loser off at it.
turnera Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Go ahead and snoop so you can find out once and for all.
torranceshipman Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Ugh, he sounds awful. Clearly those girls think they are involved in a R of some kind with him, and he treats you badly by the sounds of it-he's mean, cheats on you, hurts your feelings, and cuts you off when you ask him necessary questions. And yes, in the kindest way possible that I can say this...I agree with your subject line title: you are being a doormat. There is SUCH a great guy out there (many more than 1, actually), who would treat you so much better than this. He isn't your soulmate - not by a long shot. Can I ask you, what was the rumor from his past? There is likely to be truth in it if his present behavior is anything to go by.
Mimolicious Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Thanks for reading my post. I really am in desperate need of all the help I can get. I am not married, I've been in a serious relationship for about 3 years now, in which we have had our ups and downs but have generally decided that we are sticking together and working through it all and eventually want to marry each other once we are both done with school. I want to make this work more then anything in the world. I have always been an extremely emotionally driven person, and I am just extremely attached to him and I do believe he is my soul mate if you look past all the bull****. During most of our relationship I have dealt with people telling me little rumors about him here and there... I have learned little things about his past that are just absolutely horrid. I haven't let that make it a deal breaker.. but it eats at me slowly. I constantly think of the things I heard and what he is capable of doing. It has been driving me nuts. I've spoken to him about it.. he doesnt open up. He promises me that it is just a rumor .. (obviously) and I try to let it go...but I cant sleep , I cant focus. I want to know the truth. Lately i've checked his phone. He has gotten a few messages from girls. The other night he had one at 5am from a strange number that read " hey hun, its becki .. i lost my phone so just text me here when you wake up".. today he had one from someone saved under on his phone i had never heard of she wrote " good luck:), i love you.. you will do great just relax" at 6am.. he really has nothing important to do today that I know of. Keep in mind we have lived together for 3 years and I know all of his close friends. I have never heard of either of these girls. Should I talk to him about it? Should i put a snooping device in his car? Should I contact the girls.? am I just going nuts and over reacting? I've tried talking before over texts I have seen and he just acts like I am crazy jealous and refuses to answer any questions. Monkey- Your BF is Monkey Business. Why would you want to marry a person that behaves this way, beats me. If you think that after you get married things are going to be peachy perfect... you are in for a HUGE SURPRISE! Why havent you ran for the hills, amazes me. Listen, I know that it is hard and you may love this guy enough to not see the obvious. I promise you one thing and one thing only. HE WILL NOT BE A "BETTER" H THAN THE BF HE ALREADY IS. The choice is yours. Those text messages most likely didn't get there by mistake. If the rumors are far too many, chances are they are not just "rumors". If things in his past are absolutely "horrid" then how charming you think your future is going to be? Save yourself the 007 shenanigans and drive yourself "nuts" about what is right in front of your face. Run and run now.
BeagleGal Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Mimo: "Your BF is Monkey Business" HA HA HA HA! Sorry, that was a great little line there! First laugh I had today... Monkey: the proof is in the pudding and its saying "" hey hun, its becki .. i lost my phone so just text me here when you wake up".. today he had one from someone saved under on his phone i had never heard of she wrote " good luck:), i love you.. you will do great just relax" Get.Rid.Of.Him.
You Go Girl Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Well if I was a two-timing or three-timing man I would make up things like I had a job interview also. I mean, what else could --you will do great, just relax mean? I'm sure she wasn't referring to his performance in bed with you.
Recommended Posts