Sometimes I imagine talking to my ex

[harkkam]

This might be strange but I can be at a gas station filing gas and feeling lonely, she would always be in the passenger side and smile at me from the mirror.

 

Sometimes I pretend she is in the car wit me and I talk to her out loud and I talk back saying sweet words to her even though she isnt there. I pretend she is there and I grab her imaginary hand.

 

Sometimes I look on google earth her home and imagine her sleeping inside it and I just stare at the house that I used to drop her off so many times in front of and say goodbye to her and kiss her.

 

Its been three months, whats wrong with me.

 

She has told me "Ive moved on from that part of my life and you should to"

[DenverBachelor]

For the first three months, I would open the door after coming home and shout, "Hey honey, I'm home" to an empty house. I felt really sad.

 

I do it occasionally now and just laugh at myself. I do it to kill boredom and because I'm weird at times.

[smk]

For the first three months, I would open the door after coming home and shout, "Hey honey, I'm home" to an empty house. I felt really sad.

 

I do it occasionally now and just laugh at myself. I do it to kill boredom and because I'm weird at times.

 

hehehehehe....

 

i still wake up in the middle of the night and look on the other side of the bed hoping to see and feel her there and check my phone to see my nightly text msg from her - then i realise i am crashing in the spare room at my sisters house on a single bed and go back to sleep....

 

LOL...

[DenverBachelor]

hehehehehe....

 

i still wake up in the middle of the night and look on the other side of the bed hoping to see and feel her there and check my phone to see my nightly text msg from her - then i realise i am crashing in the spare room at my sisters house on a single bed and go back to sleep....

 

LOL...

 

My how the mighty have fallen!

[mickleb]

It's just part of managing your loss, harrkam.

 

I didn't used to talk to my ex but I don't shut up talking to my deceased pup. I do the sort of stuff you mentioned. I'll still pretend she's sitting in her little bed in the car, in the footwell of the passenger seat and rub her non-existent ears to give her some comfort, when I'm driving around. Did it last night, in fact.

 

As long as you are not contacting her (how come she's telling you you should have moved on?), I think these things are okay. It's just part of your readjustment back to single life.

 

How is the medication working out for you? Are you in therapy? Have you got hold of the book I recommended?

 

Let us know how you are.

 

x

[smk]

My how the mighty have fallen!

 

hehehehe....

 

well on the bright side i still havent fallen of the bed - that would be painful....

[mickleb]

Actually, harrkam, I apologise. Having read some of your older posts, I think, for you, this is 'harmful fantasy' - as opposed to harmless.

 

You appear to have been idealising your ex for a while now. From what I have read, she really was not 'all that'. She seems to live in a bit of a dream world herself, actually, from how you describe her. Her 'kindnesses' are all very random and not especially constructive. In fact, she was a downright bitch to you after you found out she had her virus (especially regarding the medicine you offered her).

 

I think your view of women has been distorted by the relationship you had prior to this one. There are many, many, kind women out there and you will meet another but it's important to make sure you're in the right place to do so before you go looking again.

 

Please try to build up your social life. I suggest looking at www.meetup.com and going along to a few things. I also recommend you use therapy to increase your self-esteem, confidence and communication skills.

 

Right now I suggest you start listing this girl's faults - list every single time you can recall that you felt hurt or confused by her comments and behaviour. When you feel yourself slipping into fantasy mode, check out the list. It's so important that you adopt a more balanced viewpoint of this individual.

 

Get hold of a Susan Anderson book and No More Mr Nice Guy, too.

 

The fact you've started taking meds is great but they won't help a much if you don't use the break they're giving you to make the necessary changes in your mind and your life. Unless you want to stay hung up on her forever, it's time for more action.

 

Take care.

 

x

[MJEW]

In the last few years I have found myself doing something and thinking "I should be experiencing this with him" ( ex husband). It never truly goes away, I'll do something that will remind me of our past together or I'll do something new and think " god he would have loved this"....somedays I hope that when he texts me it will have nothing to do with our son, it will just say " hey how are ya?".

 

I think we all do this, we either think about all of the good times and the bad, or we think about " damn I should be doing this with him/her".....weither or not it's good for us? I don't know, but I do know that I do enjoy it when I do, sometimes it gives me a little sunshine in the soul, my own private thoughts and memories that no matter how hectic my life is, I don't have to share these thoughts or memories with anyone else.

 

I still have this dress that I wore in Mexico for him....when I see it hanging in the closet, I can hear him say " MM..MM..MM damn your are a beautiful woman and your mine."

[Username37]

I do this too sometimes.

 

Sometimes I lay in bed and I imagine her next to me and I tell her all my problems and stuff. She was the only person I could do that with.

 

Since it's summer time too, I sometimes imagine the summer that we could've had and the convos we could've had the places we could've gone too.

 

It's depressing.

[smk]

I do this too sometimes.

 

Sometimes I lay in bed and I imagine her next to me and I tell her all my problems and stuff. She was the only person I could do that with.

 

Since it's summer time too, I sometimes imagine the summer that we could've had and the convos we could've had the places we could've gone too.

 

It's depressing.

 

silly jokes aside - i think its a natural thing that we all do, because we have formed a deep bond with the SO that we then have a hard time letting go off and at times it just makes it easier that imagine them still there...

 

I know I do alot of the things people here have mentioned but gradually (apart from the waking up in the middle of the night thing) things seem to be happening less...

 

I dont know maybe I am moving on too quickly or just shutting things out, but yes I do visit places and wish she was by my side, but the convo's have stopped. the only 2 things that I still do are check my phone first thing in the morning and last thing at night as though by some miracle there will be something there waiting for me...

 

I guess over time as we fully let go of them these moments gradually occur less, yes we may still think of them when we visit some place that they may have enjoyed or do something that they may have enjoyed...

 

i know for the first few weeks i couldnt even drink a coffee because of the memories attached to it...

[Thierro]

During the relationship her voice joined my inner dialogue. I would have conversations with her in my mind. She would give me advice or comfort me when needed.

 

Sometimes I still fantasize about her being here with me. Sometimes I smile because she does or say something funny. I am coping. I am feeling better about myself and know where I need to go from here. Just like smk I am still waiting for a text from her. But it slowly fades. I am finding truth and this makes me stronger every day.

[LoveTruthChaos]

Sometimes I imagine talking to my ex.

All I ever ask him is why he did this to me.

Though I haven't done that for a while