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I wasn't "the one"... life goes on.

AlwaysConflicted

By AlwaysConflicted
in Coping

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AlwaysConflicted Established Member

AlwaysConflicted

Posted
Posted (edited)

Maybe I'm overly confident, but I'm fascinated with my ex's ability to dump me and never contact me again.

 

We haven't spoken in several months and I've been doing fine. I still think about her once or twice a day.

 

She must have really disliked me... It's such an odd feeling knowing that she was so sure I wasn't right for her.

 

Anyways, as the title says, life goes on.

Edited by AlwaysConflicted
DenverBachelor Established Member

DenverBachelor

Posted
Posted
Maybe I'm overly confident, but I'm fascinated with my ex's ability to dump me and never contact me again.

 

.... Women.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

Posted
Posted

I dumped my last boyfriend and never contacted him again (OK, I slipped and sent him one text on a holiday -- bleh), but it wasn't because I disliked him.

 

It was because I loved and wanted him so much, I knew I would not be able to resist him if he tried to get me back. And I couldn't let that happen.

DenverBachelor Established Member

DenverBachelor

Posted
Posted
I dumped my last boyfriend and never contacted him again (OK, I slipped and sent him one text on a holiday -- bleh), but it wasn't because I disliked him.

 

It was because I loved and wanted him so much, I knew I would not be able to resist him if he tried to get me back. And I couldn't let that happen.

 

The silver lining.

silic0ntoad Established Member

silic0ntoad

Posted
Posted
The silver lining.

 

 

Always.

 

I wasn't "the one" either, my friend. Mayhap never will be, we'll see.

 

I'll just keep on workin that lazy river, smoke rings bout my head, deep in thought, when will I ever come home?

 

Besides, I have more me time. I am my own "the one." and guess what? I'm spoiling that "one."

DustySaltus Established Member

DustySaltus

Posted
Posted

Whenever a girl tells you that you're the one, in my experience.....run for the hills.

silic0ntoad Established Member

silic0ntoad

Posted
Posted
Whenever a girl tells you that you're the one, in my experience.....run for the hills.

 

 

This. Totally agree. It's like getting that girlfriend name tattoo.

 

Always doomed to failure.

ResetReality Established Member

ResetReality

Posted
Posted

I know how you feel AC mines done the same, she hasn't looked back, either she is one tough son of a gun or she has met someone else (so soon)

 

i really don't have a clue, either way though, by her not contacting me, it is making the healing process alot easier,

 

its more the fact that i didnt do anything wrong, and even if i did i told her i am only human and we all make mistakes but hey, i guess i just wasn't good enough

 

like above, she told me all this crap about "you're the one"

 

yeh right, like a fool i believed it all

 

but hey ho, silver lining and all that

 

:):):):)

Beeotch Established Member

Beeotch

Posted
Posted
I dumped my last boyfriend and never contacted him again (OK, I slipped and sent him one text on a holiday -- bleh), but it wasn't because I disliked him.

 

It was because I loved and wanted him so much, I knew I would not be able to resist him if he tried to get me back. And I couldn't let that happen.

 

Pretty much.

 

I had an ex who did not contact me at ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL for a year. He up and vanished without a peep, for one year.

 

He came back later and explained that he did it because of those same reasons. We both knew it wouldn't work, but staying in contact, neither of us would have been strong enough not to fall into the same patterns, prolonging something that wasn't meant to be.

 

I was OFCOURSE upset, thought the worst of him, wondered how I could not matter to him anymore etc. He told me a year later that he thought of me every single day, looked at my pictures on yahoo etc and it made him feel good to check if I was okay. He thought it better that he fall of the face of the earth so I could get over him and be happy....

 

 

Today, I can definitely say that at the time it was no fun, confusing and I felt abandoned. But he was right. Now, we're actually friends and not caught up in some drama of liking this person but not being able to be with them.

 

So yea....what the person is doing is often better for you and them in the end, regardless of how it seems now.

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AlwaysConflicted Established Member

AlwaysConflicted

Posted
  • Author
Posted

So she's doing it all for me? What a woman. Always thinking of me first.

LoveTruthChaos Established Member

LoveTruthChaos

Posted
Posted
Pretty much.

 

I had an ex who did not contact me at ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL for a year. He up and vanished without a peep, for one year.

 

He came back later and explained that he did it because of those same reasons. We both knew it wouldn't work, but staying in contact, neither of us would have been strong enough not to fall into the same patterns, prolonging something that wasn't meant to be.

 

I was OFCOURSE upset, thought the worst of him, wondered how I could not matter to him anymore etc. He told me a year later that he thought of me every single day, looked at my pictures on yahoo etc and it made him feel good to check if I was okay. He thought it better that he fall of the face of the earth so I could get over him and be happy....

 

 

Today, I can definitely say that at the time it was no fun, confusing and I felt abandoned. But he was right. Now, we're actually friends and not caught up in some drama of liking this person but not being able to be with them.

 

So yea....what the person is doing is often better for you and them in the end, regardless of how it seems now.

 

For some reason, your post has made me cry for the first time in weeks.

I guess that's what I always hoped that my ex was thinking.

In all honesty though, I know he doesn't care.

In fact, he said he 'didn't wish me any ill will', and then set out to hurt me *sniff*

LoveTruthChaos Established Member

LoveTruthChaos

Posted
Posted
Whenever a girl tells you that you're the one, in my experience.....run for the hills.

 

I'm a girl, and I totally agree.

I would NEVER say that to any guy.

 

I've been in 2 long term relationships, and BOTH guys had the urge to tell me that they loved me a week after being together. This behaviour makes ME run for the hills!

Nikki Sahagin Established Member

Nikki Sahagin

Posted
Posted

I hate when exes have to act in such a coded, shaded way. They don't realise its so much harder to get over lies, confusion and nonsense. The truth would be painful but it would be far easier in the end. If I could have said one thing to my ex I'd have said, I wish you could just have been honest, instead of hide behind sugarcoating things, half-truths and false hope to make it easier on him than on me.

LoveTruthChaos Established Member

LoveTruthChaos

Posted
Posted
I hate when exes have to act in such a coded, shaded way. They don't realise its so much harder to get over lies, confusion and nonsense. The truth would be painful but it would be far easier in the end. If I could have said one thing to my ex I'd have said, I wish you could just have been honest, instead of hide behind sugarcoating things, half-truths and false hope to make it easier on him than on me.

 

I always said to my ex, time and time again, that I would rather be hurt by the truth than by a lie. Do you think he respected me enough to give me the truth? HELL no. He ain't worth a pinch of s.h.i.t

bonpaw2008 Established Member

bonpaw2008

Posted
Posted
I hate when exes have to act in such a coded, shaded way. They don't realise its so much harder to get over lies, confusion and nonsense. The truth would be painful but it would be far easier in the end. If I could have said one thing to my ex I'd have said, I wish you could just have been honest, instead of hide behind sugarcoating things, half-truths and false hope to make it easier on him than on me.

 

Exactly, tell the gd ****ing truth....just because you don't want to lose your safety net you need to tell someone that it isn't going to work. I never got that out of mine, I kept telling him to say that it was over but he said he couldn't because it was so final. Honesty takes balls, lying to make someone feel better makes it so much worse

Nikki Sahagin Established Member

Nikki Sahagin

Posted
Posted
Exactly, tell the gd ****ing truth....just because you don't want to lose your safety net you need to tell someone that it isn't going to work. I never got that out of mine, I kept telling him to say that it was over but he said he couldn't because it was so final. Honesty takes balls, lying to make someone feel better makes it so much worse

 

It shows how cowardly they are.

If they cared enough about us, rather than themselves, they would be honest about why the relationship ended, instead of the way mine did it, saying to other people he didn't love me but using different excuses to my face, then saying when he's back from travelling he would want me again, only to get with someone else. It makes you appreciate honest people a WHOLE lot more.

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