Ncb89 Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Hi all, I have a pretty complicated situation on my hands at the moment. I'll try to make it as quick, and to the point, as possible. I have had a boyfriend now for about 5 months. He is great. Funny, affectionate, lovable, and very trustworthy, but there's just one issue, I still love and miss my ex-boyfriend. Now this would all be very simple if my ex lived in the United States, but he lives in England. I met him while he was working here on a visa and fell for him instantly. I was involved with the British guy for about 4 years(2 of them mostly long distance, just visits here and there) Granted, it was a very hard relationship because of the distance, my love for him overpowered the struggle and I believed that it was worth it, even when people told me different. Sadly, February of this year my ex and I finally called it quits. He wanted me to try to get a visa and work there so we could give it a real shot. He told me he had someone who could help me get a job. As exciting as it sounded, i knew i was not ready to get up and go and i felt as though he were pressuring me-i snapped and told him i wanted to put an end to our relationship once and for all. My family and friends were also telling me that he should take the risk and come here, even if it is more risky for him since he probably would not sustain a well paying job. He figured it would be easier for me to go there and work for the summer, since I'm young, still live at home and am in school. I still couldn't help but feel pathetic if i did that. Our main issue for me and him is that hes 26, and I'm 21. He is ready to settle down, as where i am ready to enjoy the "best years of my life". Now here is the BIG issue for me now is that I still think of my ex-boyfriend in England, even though I am with this great guy who is only 10 minutes down the road. I don't know what to do. Everyone is telling me to pick the guy that is here, but i cant help but feel drawn to my ex in England whom i loved with every inch of my being. Sometimes I feel as though i am settling because its easier, than other times I really do think that I love my boyfriend and am just being nostalgic. I need any advice I can get. What would you do if you were me? Thanks so much.
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Dump the current BF. You're not being fair to him, if your heart isn't all in it. It's not nostalgia. Nostalgia is a bunch of good memories, but it doesn't make you want to go back there....Well, that's my impression, anyway.... Get back in touch with England EX- and explain rationally what your misgivings are, and ask him to be supportive, because you're heartbroken, but young. Re-open dialogue, and tentatively build bridges. That's always assuming, that is, that Mr England Guy is able to agree, and sustain an LDR..... ....Would be my take.
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