scandi_high Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Hi Guys I started a long distance relationship about 5 months ago (I live in the UK, she lives in Greece). We actually met online....kind of . After a month of chatting on skype, I decided to go to Greece and we really hit it off - and have been to Greece a further 2 times. Those were real heady days. However, in the last 4 weeks ago, my gut has been telling me that not all is right - we seem to chat a lot less - there have been mitigating circumstances such as she being on a family holiday, lots of family functions such as weddings and her preparing for her medical finals. Am I being overly paranoid in thinking that she doesn't call me that much now or she doesn't send me texts? Additionally, when I told her that I want to see her next month, she told me "not to bother" 'cos she's got lots of things to do (e.g. her exams) and that she wouldn't have the adequate time for me if I did go down to Greece. I don't want to sound selfish and clingy but this change of behaviour is making me unhappy...the few times I've chatted to her about this she reassured that everything is fine, that she loves me, misses me blah blah blah... So bottom line is - am i being paranoid? and am i being selfish? Thanks for reading.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I've learned to trust my gut in my relationship. My boyfriend ALWAYS assures me that things are fine and I usually don't find out for sure that they aren't fine until after we resolve it, but so far, every time my gut has said,"Things aren't going well", they aren't, even if I couldn't exactly explain why. So, she didn't sound excited about you visiting her at all? She didn't try to tell you a better time for you to visit her when she wasn't so busy? Because honestly, I'd jump at the chance for my boyfriend to visit me whenever he could. Yes, I'd want him to visit me at a time when I was less busy, but if he offered at a bad time, then I'd just tell him another time when I thought things would be more calm. And how much less are the two of you speaking exactly? Is she hardly speaking to you at all or what? Because, there is a chance that nothing is wrong in the relationship. Usually, the first few months, you want to spend all your time together, but then it will probably start calming down some. But if she's hardly talking to you at all, then I think she's not feeling that interested in the relationship anymore. My boyfriend went through this for a few months this year. It was AWFUL and he kept insisting everything was fine, but was out with friends 3-6 times a week on top of working full time and going to school full time. I hardly ever saw him and after he visited me everything was better, but he admitted to me afterwards that he wasn't that invested in me during that part of our relationship.
Author scandi_high Posted August 6, 2010 Author Posted August 6, 2010 Thanks for replying Enchanted Girl. Well we do chat everyday - between 15 mins to an hour a day. We used to chat for hours and hours. Of course I am aware that things are different at the start of every relationship. She did say that I can visit when her exams are over, but that's in early November (a long way off) and I really want to see her sometime soon 'cos the last time I saw her was end of May. Additionally, I've found she blows hot and cold - somedays she's really lovey dovey, other days she's pretty cold
gsly Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 i know this may sound dumb but ask her if she has fb..that's how i dealt with my gf..
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