EnigmasMuse Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I'm going to try and not make this confusing if I can so please bare with me. I have a sister, she just recently got divorced. She has 3 kids. About a month ago she gets involved with this guy who she has known for awhile, they started seeing each other on a regular basis. He basically has moved in her home, because she told him he could. He didn't ask, she asked him to. He has a job etc. so its not like he is mooching off her. He has a 3 year old child but he is not and has not been married to his babys mother. I notice when I'm over and around them, he still talks quite alot about his ex (his baby's mom) Of course its not in a loving manner more of how terrible she is, but still its almost like he can't shake not talking about her etc. Yes he talks about her infront of my sister but she acts like she doesn't mind. He talks about how he doesn't want to talk to her unless its about their child. She calls and texts him alot etc, and he texts her back or calls her back, but yet he gets mad because lots of time its not about the child its her just wanting to chat. He could hang up on her, ignore her etc, but yet he chooses to return these calls and texts. If he really didn't want to talk to her, I would think he wouldn't, plain and simple. Ok moving along. His EX lives with her dad. The word around is, her dad has been accused before of sexual abuse. Not sure on who or when or all the details right now. He has told my sister and me that the worries when his ex leaves to go somewhere because then she leaves the child in her fathers care, and he is very worried this man might be messing with his daughter. He has felt this way for awhile. My concern and question is, why in the world if you feel something is wrong or suspect someone might be messing with your child, wouldn't you have the proper people to look into this? Department of SS will take care of this and look into it. He talks about how this bothers him but no one has been called in to investigate? However, he tells my sister he needs her car (yes he has a car) but needs to use hers to go spy on his ex, to document the times she is leaving to see if in fact his daughter is being left in the care of his ex's dad. While that might be the case, something sounds weird to me about this. Documentation or not, the proper people can look into this if he were to just call and and tell them what he feels may or may not be going on. He has even followed his ex before to see where she is going etc? WTH? That really has nothing to do with what may or may not be going on inside the home with the child and the man in question. So the other day, instead of him going to "spy" he asks my sister to do so in her car, and she does. She followed his ex to see where she was going, which was to McDonalds. That was it nothing else. He has watched her before, followed her etc, how many times must he does this before he says to the proper people, "Yep shes leaving my child in her dads care." He keeps doing this, all he has to do is call the right people and they can take it from there. Something is just fishy to me about the whole thing. If I thought for one minute my child might be in harms way you better know I would call the right people to look into it, not follow an ex around! My sister seems like this all fine with her. If she thinks something is weird she doesn't seem to show it. She jumped right into this situation right after her divorce. He has a track record and I know someone who looked into him and has lots of charges against him but theywere all dropped. My sister knows about all the charges etc. I want to say something to my sister, but learned along time ago to not do that. If you tell her something out of concern, even to have her gaurd up on this guy etc, she would drop me like a hot potato! I know, shes done it before, I don't want that again. Does anyone else think this is odd? I shared this with a good friend of mine, she feels its all BS and that he is more concerned about his ex and what she is doing/not doing, than the child. That's how it seems to me too, really. Thoughts?
blair08 Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 If he has questions about what is going on or not with his daughter, then yes, he needs to turn that over to the right authorities. I'm quite bothered by why he hasn't already. I know this might sound odd, and anytime there is a child involved I wouldn't ignore what may or may not being going on, but since he is more concerned with finding out his ex's whereabouts and when she leaves her house, do you think this story about his daughter he made up? I don't know what reason he would have for doing that, and I'm not saying that he is. Unless he di to throw off his current g/f (your sister) and is giving out a reason to make it seem legit to know her whereabouts or follow her. What purpose did it serve for him to get your sister to follow his ex too? You said he had some charges on him that were dropped? What kinds of charges? I hope someone esle can shed some more light on this for you.
2sure Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 First, if the exes father is a previous sex offender...he very well may have restrictions about being around children. Nevertheless, if there were any question the authorities should definitely be made aware so that the child's father can start to move forward trying to get custody or motivate the child's mother to find a safe place to live. I cannot imagine a parent leaving their child in such a position and not even bother to make a few phone calls. In fact...I would question that it is even the case if he has not. He is stalking his ex and no one as of yet knows for sure...why. The child being left ...why would it matter at all where the mother went ??? If you can do nothing else, at least dont indulge his behavior. Ask questions like: Shouldnt you notify authorities? Is he a sex offender? Is what you are doing legal? Does it matter where she is going more than that she is gone?
Author EnigmasMuse Posted August 5, 2010 Author Posted August 5, 2010 Thanks blair and 2sure. "He is stalking his ex and no one as of yet knows for sure...why. The child being left ...why would it matter at all where the mother went ???" Exactly, this is my question as well. Its all just so odd. What else that bothers me is, my sister who just got out of a not so good marriage, is jumping back into a relationship with someone who really isn't as good for her as she seems to have convinced herself he is. She does know of these charges as well. Guess she wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but still the whole thing with his ex and his child and that whole situation is strange indeed. 2sure, I'm not sure about all of the details about his ex's dad. I don't know that he is a sex offender or anything. I just know that it was said there was some speculation he messed with kids, so he was fearful for his daughter. Which is why I don't understand, if he is so fearful, why has he not gotten the proper people involved to see whats going on for sure. blair, the charges were two DWI's which those weren't dropped. Theother things were from about 2-3 years ago....things like assult on another man, something about pointing a gun...choking his ex etc...he has been thrown in jail for these things..however charges were later dropped. He told my sister of all of these and he also told her his ex, made alot of those things up that he never did those things etc...I guess thats why they were dropped, not sure.
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