ladygaga Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 So this is the update: I logged into our shared email last night cuz I was drunk.. And guess what?! He's already calling up escorts! WTH! I thought he was supposed to work it out with his wife! Now I really feel sorry for her, and the disrespect and disgust for him sets in... There's no point helping or telling the BS. For one, it's none of my business now, second, she won't believe why we broke up anyway. I have her number as he gave it to me a long time ago, but what's the point?!! Karma will play itself out. The story was that, I went out with him about 9 mths, he left his wife for 4 mths to be with me.. and when I found out he cheated on me with an escort, I forgave him but our relationship crashed and burned a month after. I broke up with him and he said he was going to "make it or break it" with his wife. They're going to MC and reading all these stupid "how to get over your affair" books and he's now cheating already??! It's only been 2.5 weeks since we broke up!!!
YellowShark Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. (...and for those who don't ascribe to that reality are just deluding themselves...eventually the cheater WILL cheat again.)
Author ladygaga Posted August 5, 2010 Author Posted August 5, 2010 Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. (...and for those who don't ascribe to that reality are just deluding themselves...eventually the cheater WILL cheat again.) I don't believe that is entirely true though. Some people do change. I have been on the flipped side of the coin before and I cheated because my old relationship wasn't what I wanted, then I got out. I wasn't trying to be deceptive... I just got bored! But that's when I was a teenager, and I wasn't married or anything.
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 So this is the update: I logged into our shared email last night cuz I was drunk. That was your biggest mistake, and honestly? This is the only thing you should be thinking about. you need to stop sharing an e-mail account, move on and forget him. Frankly, I don't really care what he's doing, and neither should you.
YellowShark Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I don't believe that is entirely true though. Some people do change. I have been on the flipped side of the coin before and I cheated because my old relationship wasn't what I wanted, then I got out. I wasn't trying to be deceptive... I just got bored! But that's when I was a teenager, and I wasn't married or anything. So you've cheated twice now that you admit to, once as a teenager.. and again with this recent guy as a young adult. And you don't think once a cheater always a cheater? Funny!
In_Repair Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Lady, take that as proof that he just wanted you for sex. It obviously became more than just sex, since he actually left the wife for a while, but he was initially just looking for a young little plaything. Now that he has "escaped" the emotional ties to you, he is again free to go chase skirt behind his wife's back.
donnamaybe Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 That was your biggest mistake, and honestly? This is the only thing you should be thinking about. you need to stop sharing an e-mail account, move on and forget him. Frankly, I don't really care what he's doing, and neither should you. But it never hurts to find out the REAL truth about these types of people. It might help her NOT make the same mistake in the future with another one JUST like him.
Author ladygaga Posted August 5, 2010 Author Posted August 5, 2010 So you've cheated twice now that you admit to, once as a teenager.. and again with this recent guy as a young adult. And you don't think once a cheater always a cheater? Funny! I guess I was cheating "WITH" MM, but I never cheated ON him though.. learned my lesson the hard way that if you want to be in a relationship, cheating defeats the purpose. But now, I learned not to cheat WITH anyone as well! Had to get my finger burned, didn't I? Karma always comes full cycle
whichwayisup Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Did it ever occur to you that he knows since you check the 'shared account' he is setting you up on purpose? Knowing full well that you're going to check the account to see what he's up to? Anyway, maybe you should stop using that account.. It's only going to wind you up and piss you off, like it has now.
2sure Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Get tested for STDs and never again let a man treat you like an escort.
Author ladygaga Posted August 5, 2010 Author Posted August 5, 2010 Did it ever occur to you that he knows since you check the 'shared account' he is setting you up on purpose? Knowing full well that you're going to check the account to see what he's up to? Anyway, maybe you should stop using that account.. It's only going to wind you up and piss you off, like it has now. I honestly thought, "WOW, he reformed, he may be a good guy trying to seriously work it out." That is like the biggest joke of the year. Ok, I'm kind of sneaky when it comes to internet tracking.. The first time I found out he cheated was when I logged into gmail > google accounts > web history. You'll be amazed that it saves every single search that you do on google. He was looking up escorts, denied he saw them, until I asked for his cell phone statements. This time, I logged into gmail > google voice, he deleted the texts that he sent to the escorts, but he's kinda sloppy, and my generation is just more savvy.. I had to open the trash bin and undelete it.
Mimolicious Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 But it never hurts to find out the REAL truth about these types of people. It might help her NOT make the same mistake in the future with another one JUST like him. We call this the process of "Learning a lesson from our experiences"- something that comes along with growing up and maturing. LG- You seriously need to let it go. If it's not your business any longer, then why are you still searching? You are not part of the triangle and should look at it as a blessing. Even if you were in the picture, your MM was probably going to look else where the minute he could. There is nothing you can do to control what he does. He is who he is. What he was supposed to do is his business to do, not for you to keep account of. Worry about becoming a better person and learn the lesson, or else all your pain has been in vain.
whichwayisup Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I honestly thought, "WOW, he reformed, he may be a good guy trying to seriously work it out." That is like the biggest joke of the year. Ok, I'm kind of sneaky when it comes to internet tracking.. The first time I found out he cheated was when I logged into gmail > google accounts > web history. You'll be amazed that it saves every single search that you do on google. He was looking up escorts, denied he saw them, until I asked for his cell phone statements. This time, I logged into gmail > google voice, he deleted the texts that he sent to the escorts, but he's kinda sloppy, and my generation is just more savvy.. I had to open the trash bin and undelete it. All the more reason to stay away from this guy. You don't trust him, seems you haven't in a long time. It's one thing when a BS needs to check up on her/his spouse after an affair and reconciling, it's a whole other ball game when an OW has to check up on her MM and snoop. Anyway, I really hope you find peace soon and are able to feel happy again, not care what he does/thinks or says.
jthorne Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I thought you said in one of your other threads that you didn't consider escorts cheating? So what's the problem? He dumped you so whatever he does on his own time is his business.
Author ladygaga Posted August 5, 2010 Author Posted August 5, 2010 I thought you said in one of your other threads that you didn't consider escorts cheating? So what's the problem? He dumped you so whatever he does on his own time is his business. To me, escorts isn't really cheating if it's just sex. However, he's supposed to work it out with his wife! I thought they were for real? That he got down to business and wants to be a good guy. But he's already cheating on her while trying to win her back.. amazing the guts that this guy has. Well he dumped me first, then begged to get back again.. but hehe, I dumped him hard in the end. Doesn't mean I don't have feelings though, after all, I cared for this guy the last 9 months. I know it's over and I won't ever want a guy like that, but sometimes, my mind just replays the times we had and moments we shared.. I really opened myself up to him, a real schmuck in my case! I must have been blind!!
jthorne Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 To me, escorts isn't really cheating if it's just sex. However, he's supposed to work it out with his wife! I thought they were for real? That he got down to business and wants to be a good guy. But he's already cheating on her while trying to win her back.. amazing the guts that this guy has. Well he dumped me first, then begged to get back again.. but hehe, I dumped him hard in the end. Doesn't mean I don't have feelings though, after all, I cared for this guy the last 9 months. I know it's over and I won't ever want a guy like that, but sometimes, my mind just replays the times we had and moments we shared.. I really opened myself up to him, a real schmuck in my case! I must have been blind!!NO, you were not blind! You CHOSE to get involved with him knowing he was married. You would do well to examine your choices and why you make them.
pureinheart Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I honestly thought, "WOW, he reformed, he may be a good guy trying to seriously work it out." That is like the biggest joke of the year. Ok, I'm kind of sneaky when it comes to internet tracking.. The first time I found out he cheated was when I logged into gmail > google accounts > web history. You'll be amazed that it saves every single search that you do on google. He was looking up escorts, denied he saw them, until I asked for his cell phone statements. This time, I logged into gmail > google voice, he deleted the texts that he sent to the escorts, but he's kinda sloppy, and my generation is just more savvy.. I had to open the trash bin and undelete it. Hey, LG...I know this hurts rights now and I'm so sorry you got caught up in the octagon. FTR, yes people do change, people change everyday for the better or worse...we ALWAYS hope for the best. We ALL make good choices and bad choices, some we pay dearly, some we are given grace (as God judges the heart, the motive behind the motive) and some we win:)
2sure Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I have to tell you, this guy is pretty surly a sex addict. Also, if his wife found out much about you...she probably is keeping him out of sympathy.
NoIDidn't Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I have to tell you, this guy is pretty surly a sex addict. Also, if his wife found out much about you...she probably is keeping him out of sympathy. I agree. Sounds like he does want his M, but is compelled to seek escorts.
jthorne Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 The OP brought this up, so I guess it's not off-topic. I find it really weird that someone who is calling up escorts is using an email address in which he knows a former love interest has a password. Is that weird to anyone else? Seems weird to me. Especially since in her first thread, she found out this same information from looking at his phone records, claiming they each had each other's passwords. Weirder yet, when I look at my phone records (which I rarely if ever need to), my records simply give a number, not a name or location. So if I wanted to know if I had ever called escorts, I'd have to do reverse number lookups on every number I had called. Tedious at best. I guess the saying about people who snoop deserve whatever they find rings true here.
NoIDidn't Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 The OP brought this up, so I guess it's not off-topic. I find it really weird that someone who is calling up escorts is using an email address in which he knows a former love interest has a password. Is that weird to anyone else? Seems weird to me. Especially since in her first thread, she found out this same information from looking at his phone records, claiming they each had each other's passwords. Weirder yet, when I look at my phone records (which I rarely if ever need to), my records simply give a number, not a name or location. So if I wanted to know if I had ever called escorts, I'd have to do reverse number lookups on every number I had called. Tedious at best. I guess the saying about people who snoop deserve whatever they find rings true here. Well, like most posters do, we are only getting the bits and pieces of the story meant to gain sympathy for the OP (no offence, OP - its human nature even offline). No telling how the OP actually knows they are escorts (or isithat prostitutes). But we usually do find the bad stuff we are looking for when we snoop. That, or we misinterpret the findings to suit our suspicions.
Author ladygaga Posted August 5, 2010 Author Posted August 5, 2010 It is really easy. Just type the number into google search.. it comes up with their whole advertisement! Escorts work on the internet these days you know..
jj33 Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 If you snoop and look at a phone bill, the "premium" call" or "09" on the the number a dead give away that someting is up
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