ALombard Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 ...Since I last posted on here. Well hello everyone! I hope you are all doing better these days. I really just wanted to post on here to let everyone on here know that I am literally here for all of you. Any questions, concerns, just need to vent, let me know. I have been down a rocky road for the last I think 3 or 4 months (I stopped keeping track a while ago). All I can say to those on here who are in bad spots right now, it seriously does get better. But, it really depends on you when it comes to how long it will take. If you want the pain, sadness, and feeling of lonliness to go away you actually have to take the right steps to accomplish that goal. It may seem hopeless right now but the saying, "your life is what you make of it" rings true in this type of situation. Do you what you find necessary to put the bad feelings out your mind. You will find a lot of helpful advice on here but with any type of self-help program you take up in life, losing weight, career building, etc. you have to tailor what your told and learn to suite your individual needs. The people on here who have gone through bad break ups, we love to give advice, and mainly for one reason. We have been down the exact same road you have, all to certain degree. A lot of us have done a lot of therapy, self exploration, reading, or other methods to get to where we are now and all we want to do is to see you, the hurts masses, overcome your anguish. Remember, life is never as bad as you make it out to be. There are always other people out there in the world who have it worse than you, so count your blessings. Relationships come and reltionships go, learn to let go and realize the best outcomes are usually products of the worst times.
smk Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 its great having people like you here... Incidentally I do have a question - you probably recall my story - she left cause of her dad... anyhow been NC for over 3 weeks now with the exception of replying 4 words to one of her texts, bumping into her a few days ago and being cordial, and finally texting her my forwarding address to send my mail. Anyways over the last week I have decided to focus on me and am on the path to moving forward and just letting go, but there is one thing I wanted some thoughts on - for the past week I feel at times like crying, I feel the lump growing in my throat, my eyes welling up, yet the tears just dont seem to come out - i can feel the whole sensation of crying in my body and mind yet there is no physical evidence of it. I know I should be thrilled and dont get me wrong I am pleased that I am not crying at every little thing - however its just an odd feeling... Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions... sorry i know its a random question...
mickleb Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Nice words, Lombard. smk: I think you are getting tired of crying. It's a bit like retching when you've nothing left in your tummy to bring up. Try to find an outlet for the tenseness that works. Maybe (hand) writing down what you're feeling, drawing something, meditating, going for a walk. (Or something a bit more manly!) Whatever works for you. Also, feel good that you are moving forward. x
smk Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 MB - I feel great that I am moving on - it was just that this has been a different feeling compared to all the other new ones I have been having. BTW - just received another txt from the ex - she wants to meet for a coffee or at the station we bumped into to personally give me the post that came through... dont wanna jack lombards thread so feel free to post comment on the situation in my other one...
Author ALombard Posted August 5, 2010 Author Posted August 5, 2010 Hey smk, don't worry you're not jacking my post. This is what I started it for. To answer your question, I believe mikel is on the right track. At some point your body just gets physically exhausted from mourning your loss. Emotionally you haven't hit that point but physically you have. This is actually a good sign, eventually your brain will catch up and you will realize that to hold onto your ex is just the wrong path. When it comes to talking or seeing your ex I am split. I believe in NC but like I said before you have to find out what works for you. Until recently I knew I couldn't talk to my ex and I avoided it like the plague. I filled my days up with things to do or I just slept, anything really to keep myself from calling her. I have reached the point where I can talk to her comfortably and not care because I have allowed myself to let go and move on. If you have any doubts that seeing your ex will set you back or bring up old feelings I would say do not meet her. Send her a text, keep it short and to the point and leave it at that. Be cordial but stand your ground. What you need to focus on is you, not her. Its your well being that comes first now. I know the temptation is strong but really think about your actions when it comes to contact with your ex. For example, if I have a bad day and know I might want to say some drunken things to my ex about my regrets in the relationship I just ignore her when she calls, I never initiate contact anymore, if she wants to talk she can call me. Another thing that helps, do something new to start your life over. Change your wardrobe, change your hairstyle, buy a new car, move to a new city. Do something ( if finances and current living situation allow ) that forces you into a new chapter. Remember you don't have to be the same guy your ex fell in love with and you don't have to be broken. Start over, just find a way to actually do it.
HopeLove Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I have been dumped a bit over 3 months ago and the first month I cried every day. In the last days I'm going through a low time and I cry a little though I don't allow myself to cry and try to calm down but I also think I'm physically exhausted and hope you're right and that eventually my brain will catch up and I'll feel better.
Author ALombard Posted August 6, 2010 Author Posted August 6, 2010 Hopelove, don't worry. It will happen, eventually. But as stated before, it will only happen when you allow it to.
DenverBachelor Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 Hopelove, don't worry. It will happen, eventually. But as stated before, it will only happen when you allow it to. Welcome back ALombard. Glad to hear you're doing better!
Recommended Posts