Silly_Girl Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I have read/joined some threads on LS lately and really enjoyed them, due to the depth of thought and the uncomfortable truths. Love it. But I really started thinking about us girls... I read on another thread something like 'women love to talk'. MM and I have a joke that I have 8 thoughts to his every 1. So obviously I need 8 words to his every 1, right?! We've all read those jokes where 'woman comes home from work and says "[insert use long passage of not interesting to anyone but her type text]" and "man says [2 words max?!]"' I was about to start a thread earlier on the difference between men and women in this way, but I'm s'posed to be working and thought better of it. Then I just read this from a male poster on another thread.... "I'm probably just guarding my heart." ...and really giggled. Not because the content is funny but because a man pretty much summed up in 6 words something that I might not manage after filling several threads with self-indulgent waffle and excuses. :laugh: Sorry - had to share. Having a bad (long) day at the orifice and needed a smile.
pureinheart Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I have read/joined some threads on LS lately and really enjoyed them, due to the depth of thought and the uncomfortable truths. Love it. But I really started thinking about us girls... I read on another thread something like 'women love to talk'. MM and I have a joke that I have 8 thoughts to his every 1. So obviously I need 8 words to his every 1, right?! We've all read those jokes where 'woman comes home from work and says "[insert use long passage of not interesting to anyone but her type text]" and "man says [2 words max?!]"' I was about to start a thread earlier on the difference between men and women in this way, but I'm s'posed to be working and thought better of it. Then I just read this from a male poster on another thread.... "I'm probably just guarding my heart." ...and really giggled. Not because the content is funny but because a man pretty much summed up in 6 words something that I might not manage after filling several threads with self-indulgent waffle and excuses. :laugh: Sorry - had to share. Having a bad (long) day at the orifice and needed a smile. :lmao::lmao::lmao: My bold/underlined! (((((((((((((((SG))))))))))))))), sorry about your bad/long day...I just hope you come in contact with all uplifting people at your orifice:lmao::lmao: (I really hope that was meant to be a joke). I have always been amazed how intelligent men are and how their understanding and communication can be sooooo much better than ours. Having worked with mainly men, it was a God send...no offense ladies with this next statement.... One time I got put into a 24x48 room with a whole bunch of women and stuff (at work)...all of the women were menopausal...they fought constantly about the heating and cooling, they fought about the color of the sky...you name it, they fought about it....me and my best friend literally begged our supervisor to let us out on the floor to work (on the vehicle). I am surprised they didn't kill him...I told him one day...dude, I don't know how you do it.... I have always gotten along better with guys because there is no jealousy or competition. I do have to say you ladies on this forum are quite refreshing:)
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 My favorite joke when my H is getting on my nerves, is to say " Hey! I know, lets talk about our feelings!" That'll atleast make him chuckle and get him to lay off for the moment.
fooled once Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I have read/joined some threads on LS lately and really enjoyed them, due to the depth of thought and the uncomfortable truths. Love it. But I really started thinking about us girls... I read on another thread something like 'women love to talk'. MM and I have a joke that I have 8 thoughts to his every 1. So obviously I need 8 words to his every 1, right?! We've all read those jokes where 'woman comes home from work and says "[insert use long passage of not interesting to anyone but her type text]" and "man says [2 words max?!]"' I was about to start a thread earlier on the difference between men and women in this way, but I'm s'posed to be working and thought better of it. Then I just read this from a male poster on another thread.... "I'm probably just guarding my heart." ...and really giggled. Not because the content is funny but because a man pretty much summed up in 6 words something that I might not manage after filling several threads with self-indulgent waffle and excuses. :laugh: Sorry - had to share. Having a bad (long) day at the orifice and needed a smile. Silly ... I have been absent here pretty much for a bit (just started a new job and am SNOWED under with the learning curve I am on) and so forgive me if I am behind the 8 ball here ... but you and MM are back? Don't get mad if I say " PLEASE tel me this isn't true!!" Okay - that's all I had to add.....
Confused4Now Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 hahaahaha...that would be me who said that!!!!!:cool::cool:
Author Silly_Girl Posted August 5, 2010 Author Posted August 5, 2010 Silly ... I have been absent here pretty much for a bit (just started a new job and am SNOWED under with the learning curve I am on) and so forgive me if I am behind the 8 ball here ... but you and MM are back? Don't get mad if I say " PLEASE tel me this isn't true!!" Okay - that's all I had to add..... Hey FO. I wouldn't be mad with you!! You can be mad with me!!!! We're frozen somewhat in that we are in touch, but won't meet up. The time apart impacted on us both and I think we (he?) realised that this is deadly serious and we don't want it to go away. We've talked more in depth than we did before. I feel as though he and I both understand us, and his marriage, far better than we did before. It's odd it should take a second go to give us that. MM plans to tell his wife about us, this week or next (he has an extra commitment right now, a really sad situation which means he needs to spend a lot of time elsewhere so I don't know exactly when this will happen). He is finding it difficult to deal with his wife because of the dynamic between them but the dynamic between them is how come we're where we are so is no excuse at all. If things don't go according to what he has said it's likely I'll have a wobbly and burn my bridges with him; to ensure that door can never ever be reopened. A second chance is one thing, I can do that. But there's no more. Currently I'm pretty happy, because I have managed it differently, inside. And am making the effort to see friends and follow my interests. And work is manic so MM gets some of me but I'm sure before there was a little bit of the sitting by the phone waiting for the crumbs thing. Yuk. New job sounds 'citing!!! Hope it's going well
joey66 Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I have always been amazed how intelligent men are and how their understanding and communication can be sooooo much better than ours. Having worked with mainly men, it was a God send...no offense ladies with this next statement.... One time I got put into a 24x48 room with a whole bunch of women and stuff (at work)...all of the women were menopausal...they fought constantly about the heating and cooling, they fought about the color of the sky...you name it, they fought about it....me and my best friend literally begged our supervisor to let us out on the floor to work (on the vehicle). I am surprised they didn't kill him...I told him one day...dude, I don't know how you do it.... I have always gotten along better with guys because there is no jealousy or competition. I do have to say you ladies on this forum are quite refreshing:) First, as difficult as it is to believe, there are some intelligent men out there. Not me, mind you, but I've heard they exist. I have had a similar experience, if from the other side of the fence, so to speak. Because of a TMI thing I do, I spend a lot of time around women. For more than a decade. I almost certainly have more female friends than do most women. I soooo much prefer the company of women to that of men. They are so much more interesting and fun to talk to. Do you think that I see a different side of these women because I am a man? Might they behave differently towards me if I were a woman? Perhaps if I were a woman they wouldn't be so nice to me and so interesting? Just asking.
Shakz Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I have read/joined some threads on LS lately and really enjoyed them, due to the depth of thought and the uncomfortable truths. Love it. But I really started thinking about us girls... I read on another thread something like 'women love to talk'. MM and I have a joke that I have 8 thoughts to his every 1. So obviously I need 8 words to his every 1, right?! We've all read those jokes where 'woman comes home from work and says "[insert use long passage of not interesting to anyone but her type text]" and "man says [2 words max?!]"' I was about to start a thread earlier on the difference between men and women in this way, but I'm s'posed to be working and thought better of it. Then I just read this from a male poster on another thread.... "I'm probably just guarding my heart." ...and really giggled. Not because the content is funny but because a man pretty much summed up in 6 words something that I might not manage after filling several threads with self-indulgent waffle and excuses. :laugh: Sorry - had to share. Having a bad (long) day at the orifice and needed a smile. In my experience it's not that women have more thoughts on a subject than men but that women often think more clearly through verbalization while men tend to use an internal logic to arrive at a conclusion. Of course, not true in every case.
pureinheart Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 First, as difficult as it is to believe, there are some intelligent men out there. Not me, mind you, but I've heard they exist. I have had a similar experience, if from the other side of the fence, so to speak. Because of a TMI thing I do, I spend a lot of time around women. For more than a decade. I almost certainly have more female friends than do most women. I soooo much prefer the company of women to that of men. They are so much more interesting and fun to talk to. Do you think that I see a different side of these women because I am a man? Might they behave differently towards me if I were a woman? Perhaps if I were a woman they wouldn't be so nice to me and so interesting? Just asking. Hi Joey, My statement was never meant to offend or meant in a condescending manor, and I do apologise if it sounded that way:). Maybe this is better verbage...I am fascinated concerning how men think, and I have been fortunate to have been surrounded by extremely intelligent men (that is the most attractive quality to me). In bold, that is a really good question of which there are many factors that I am unable to answer. I would suspect that hormones cause a difference in personality, because at the core we are really dealing with personality. Also many women have been hurt by women, so there might be some bitterness in this area , and might come out if you were female. Our friends we choose, although family and co-workers we cannot. My female friends are all way cool (because I can choose who is in my inner circle). Working in a VERY large work force, contained in a rather small area, the ratio of men/women was about 1 woman to every 10 men. Even with a smaller ratio, there was still a lot of women. I found most of the women hard to work with, and of those hard to work with, most of those did much better working with the men. With this, I would say that some might have a hard time with you being a woman...it's a whole different ballgame Joey, women to women, there can be a lot of jealousy and competition...it can get really weird.
pureinheart Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 My favorite joke when my H is getting on my nerves, is to say " Hey! I know, lets talk about our feelings!" That'll atleast make him chuckle and get him to lay off for the moment. You are too good! IWWH...I wonder if men are not more in touch with their feelings than they let on:eek: !!!!!!!!
joey66 Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Hi Joey, My statement was never meant to offend or meant in a condescending manor, and I do apologise if it sounded that way:). Maybe this is better verbage...I am fascinated concerning how men think, and I have been fortunate to have been surrounded by extremely intelligent men (that is the most attractive quality to me). In bold, that is a really good question of which there are many factors that I am unable to answer. I would suspect that hormones cause a difference in personality, because at the core we are really dealing with personality. Also many women have been hurt by women, so there might be some bitterness in this area , and might come out if you were female. Our friends we choose, although family and co-workers we cannot. My female friends are all way cool (because I can choose who is in my inner circle). Working in a VERY large work force, contained in a rather small area, the ratio of men/women was about 1 woman to every 10 men. Even with a smaller ratio, there was still a lot of women. I found most of the women hard to work with, and of those hard to work with, most of those did much better working with the men. With this, I would say that some might have a hard time with you being a woman...it's a whole different ballgame Joey, women to women, there can be a lot of jealousy and competition...it can get really weird. No apology needed. I wasn't offended in the least. I wholeheartedly believe that women are smarter than men. Or at least, they have better sense. I know what you say is true about the way women treat each other badly sometimes. I have witnessed it firsthand. And I do believe that they treat me differently because I am a man.
fooled once Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 Hey FO. I wouldn't be mad with you!! You can be mad with me!!!! We're frozen somewhat in that we are in touch, but won't meet up. The time apart impacted on us both and I think we (he?) realised that this is deadly serious and we don't want it to go away. We've talked more in depth than we did before. I feel as though he and I both understand us, and his marriage, far better than we did before. It's odd it should take a second go to give us that. MM plans to tell his wife about us, this week or next (he has an extra commitment right now, a really sad situation which means he needs to spend a lot of time elsewhere so I don't know exactly when this will happen). He is finding it difficult to deal with his wife because of the dynamic between them but the dynamic between them is how come we're where we are so is no excuse at all. If things don't go according to what he has said it's likely I'll have a wobbly and burn my bridges with him; to ensure that door can never ever be reopened. A second chance is one thing, I can do that. But there's no more. Currently I'm pretty happy, because I have managed it differently, inside. And am making the effort to see friends and follow my interests. And work is manic so MM gets some of me but I'm sure before there was a little bit of the sitting by the phone waiting for the crumbs thing. Yuk. New job sounds 'citing!!! Hope it's going well So let me ask you this --- why does he need to tell his wife he is having an affair? Why doesn't he just tell her he is not in love with her and wants a divorce? Why can't he just tell you that once he gets his life squared away, he will look you up --- and IF you are still free -- he would want to start anew and date you?
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 You are too good! IWWH...I wonder if men are not more in touch with their feelings than they let on:eek: !!!!!!!! I don't know... it's the best man repellant I've found to date! Works great when one is saying, "Hey, come watch, I bet I can hit this golfball over the house, bounce it off the mailbox then that oak tree and ring the fountain! No, stay here! That was just a practice shot... watch it again!" It occasionally works when asked to discuss the latest credit card statement, too! That's not 100% though.
Author Silly_Girl Posted August 6, 2010 Author Posted August 6, 2010 So let me ask you this --- why does he need to tell his wife he is having an affair? Why doesn't he just tell her he is not in love with her and wants a divorce? Why can't he just tell you that once he gets his life squared away, he will look you up --- and IF you are still free -- he would want to start anew and date you? Totally see where you're coming from. And ideally that's what would happen. Problem is wrapped up in all their history, he accepted the terms of her coming back after her affair, still no sex, she would still have non-physical contact with her ex-AP and still does, and lots more besides. He has no reason to leave, without me. They get along, in their friendly semi-formal way, better than they have for years. There is so much more but basically when he said he was leaving it made zero sense to her (and I understand why and it's why he asked me if he could explain he'd met me, I said No and should have said Yes) and she took it very VERY personally and was distressed; she can't afford the house on her wage so why move out when they could live as friends, they've co-habited as a non-couple before why not again etc etc. She offered for him to move out then back again (despite him saying it was over she truly believed he was having a 'turn' and would obviously never be able to meet someone else and never live without her). And I think that she has a right to know. He got to the stage of moving out, and bottled it; she's being nicer (which to be honest isn't all that by my standards) than ever. So she deserves to know. She told him when she fell in love with someone else and moved out, and I think she should know why her usually compliant husband is acting 'crazy' (her words). I'd want to know my marriage was a dead end, if it were me and she has a right to know instead of harbouring hopes he'll 'come to his senses' and trying to make holiday plans with him and arrange stuff for Christmas. I realise it doesn't make much sense to an outsider but MM and I do agree on this. This may all come to nothing, if he can't bring himself to do the deed by end of next week then I shall have to shove off and leave them to it for good.
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