ali9878 Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 I have always been so suspicious of my man because he has attempted to have sex with other women while hw was drunk. I wanted to confirm if this was someone I could trust. So on a made up username, I pretended to be a girl named Michelle, who he had had sex with in the past. As soon as I said hello he immediately asked to see her and to have sex with her. Telling her he didn't want to be with me, and that she performs better than me sexually. Pretending to be her, I made plans to meet up, and I went as myself and confronted him. After an hour of his denies, he admitted everything. He seems so sincere about being upset. He tells me everything he said was just him trying to get with this girl. He promises he will never hurt me again and how disapointed he is with himself. How do I know if I can believe him? His personality is very flirtatious, so I am not sure there is a huge possiblity of him changing.
CollectiveVelvet Posted August 4, 2010 Posted August 4, 2010 OP you can't trust him. He told "Michelle" all sorts of things to get what HE wanted and he thought they were private. Now that he's been caught out he is telling you what ever he thinks will keep him in the position he wants to be in. Have you and be able to cheat.
Scottdmw Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 If you go back to him now, knowing that he is a cheater, you're basically giving him permission to do it. You are telling him that, even though you don't like it, you are completely willing to accept cheating because he's just that cool. Nothing you ever say on the subject will mean anything to him, because he knows when the chips are down you want him and you will accept any bad behavior to have him. He will most certainly get worse than he is now. This will also have an effect on you. People always justify to themselves what they do. If you go back to a cheater, that would have to mean that he is really cool. You will basically end up liking him more, and being more stuck on him, because you will convince yourself that it must be worth it if you're willing to accept a cheater. This is one of the ways people end up in bad relationships, trust me I know from experience. If you start accepting bad behavior, the worst they treat you the more you still want to be with them. Don't do that to yourself! Scott
Author ali9878 Posted August 6, 2010 Author Posted August 6, 2010 thanks for teh advice. It's just I question everything he does now, and now know his character. Do you think its better to cut myself off from him now rather than continue?
2sunny Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 thanks for teh advice. It's just I question everything he does now, and now know his character. Do you think its better to cut myself off from him now rather than continue? yes. definitely!
whichwayisup Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I have always been so suspicious of my man because he has attempted to have sex with other women while hw was drunk. I wanted to confirm if this was someone I could trust. So on a made up username, I pretended to be a girl named Michelle, who he had had sex with in the past. As soon as I said hello he immediately asked to see her and to have sex with her. Telling her he didn't want to be with me, and that she performs better than me sexually. Pretending to be her, I made plans to meet up, and I went as myself and confronted him. After an hour of his denies, he admitted everything. He seems so sincere about being upset. He tells me everything he said was just him trying to get with this girl. He promises he will never hurt me again and how disapointed he is with himself. How do I know if I can believe him? His personality is very flirtatious, so I am not sure there is a huge possiblity of him changing. Dump him. You aren't married to him, he's your boyfriend. If you decide to go back with him, be aware that he will probably cheat on you again..Maybe not right away, but eventually he will because 1)he drinks and can't handle his booze, he changes and has no boundries 2)He's lied to you in the past and is good at it. 3)He didn't come clean, didn't show remorse until you forced him to tell the truth. Up to you, but if I were in your shoes, I'd break up with him. Ask yourself WHY you would want a boyfriend who cheats and be with someone now you don't trust.
Green Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 you knew he was a cheater before you even caught him in the act. Really I think you need to trust your gut instead of always needing proof. The truth is even if he never cheats again (which he will) you will always be burdened by the fact that you know he did. Just dump him there are good guys out there. I actualy have an ex michelle who contacted me on the internet. I used it as an oportunity to BLOCK HER. I would never bash my gf to an ex. What a dick this guy is and I bet you had sex with him again after he said his ex was better. LEAVE HIM
FitChick Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 If you stay with him, it just proves that you feel you don't deserve anyone better.
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